Hoarding - A New Start

blossomhill_2

I am sorry to say that your eBay buyers are just as likely to be hoarders or compulsive buyers as anyone who buys things in a csor a shop - you need to have a when it's gone it's gone attitude and allow yourself to not think about who why or where your item will end up and just get it out in the quickest easiest way (or the most profitable if needs be)

I know a man who started off e-buying one particular type of pot, enjoyed the buzz, now can't move for them. Yes he loves them, and cherishes the idea of them, but look after them? no, he is tripping over them now and they are geting neglected and damaged. There have been posters on here who can't stop buying clothes that actually don't really fit them when they get them delivered but still go on until they recognise the spiral of hoarding - things on eBay can be just as aspirational as anywhere else, and much easier to buy with a couple of clicks

I was on a charity stall for the last two weekends and I recognised fellow hoarders in many of the older ladies who told me tales of what would be just right for which grandchild - starting off believable when they bought the 1st item but then not even caring when I tried to put them off the broken items, I thought uh-hoh ..

Anyone new to this thread, there was a v good radio show by Kevin McCloud in 2011 about the difference between the buzz from crafting/creating items to the buzz from shopping - the creativity buzz is sustainable whereas the "retail therapy" buzz does not satisfy the right part of the brain and is therefore insatiable - may still be on the net somewhere, it's v good

blossomhill_2

guinea_pig_girl wrote: »

Thank you deckogecko

Nearly cried last night, as told the much beloved that had chucked a wee pair of old trainer thingy shoes.
"Oh, I liked them, your wee frog shoes."

Noooooooooooo!
Did not want to hear that. Should have kept them, wah!!!!!!!
Will never get anything similar.

Calmed down, and maybe good to get rid as would then never be able to get rid of them.
Sigh.

I am sure he liked them, but he still has you, and that's more important, and if he has a non-hoarding you, you will both be in a better place.

Catriona_P

blossomhill wrote: »

Anyone new to this thread, there was a v good radio show by Kevin McCloud in 2011 about the difference between the buzz from crafting/creating items to the buzz from shopping - the creativity buzz is sustainable whereas the "retail therapy" buzz does not satisfy the right part of the brain and is therefore insatiable - may still be on the net somewhere, it's v good

I just tried to search for this and no luck

Good to hear there's another eBay free listing weekend - going to have another go at selling our dining table/sideboard. I've had it up on our local Facebook selling page and had a bit of interest but nobody round to look at it and I'm starting to get a bit desperate. Can't move the rest of the furniture around until it's gone! :mad:

Still doing the 40 bags in 40 days challenge, just over halfway done now and its going ok. Struggling to find things to let go of to be honest, most of the rest of my mess I want to file away, so not sure if that's a bad thing.

penguin83

Morning all. Thank you for the warm welcome. I have completed my hall. It is not perfect but there is now space to open the door fully, hang coats, put shoes and school bags and post is being dealt with as it comes through rather than left on the side to build up. I have actually dealt with the stuff in there as well instead of moving it to another room. I took before and after pictures as well which I will put up when I am feeling brave enough. I am getting a little obsessive over this one place though. I keep retidying it and making sure nothing gets put there that shouldn't be which is laughable given the state of the rest of the house!

Today I am dabbling in the kitchen and the bathroom. I find it too overwhelming to do a complete area in one go so I am working on a bit at a time. Will continue taking pictures not necessarily to post but for me to look back on.

Hope everyone is well and has a good day. xx

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

guinea_pig_girl wrote: »

Thank you deckogecko

Nearly cried last night, as told the much beloved that had chucked a wee pair of old trainer thingy shoes.
"Oh, I liked them, your wee frog shoes."

Noooooooooooo!
Did not want to hear that. Should have kept them, wah!!!!!!!
Will never get anything similar.

Calmed down, and maybe good to get rid as would then never be able to get rid of them.
Sigh.

What's to like about a knackered pair of running shoes? Shin splints? Plantar fasciitis? Iliotibital Band damage?

He liked them because they were on your feet. If you were to say 'these shoes are likely to cause me untold pain and possibly permanent damage, but because you said you liked them, I'm going to wear them every day for the rest of my life' would he be happy?

Of course not. And in the same way, would he leave you for somebody else because they wore a pair of them - or, for other people, a jumper that was in a photo? Would he keep a photo of clothes in his wallet?

No. It's purely because you were there that he liked them. You're still there, the worn out clothes are not. He will prefer it this way round.

So don't attach so much significance to them.

Granny28

Jojo - I love your comments, they really make sense to me and have helped me see some of my reasoning as laughable!
I have had a small success - four carrier bags of filed irrelevance has been recycled. I still have more files to go through, but tackled the worst one first.
I have also bought some new tops and underwear which make me feel better about myself so am determined to cull those clothes that make me feel fat and frumpy. What I really mean is that I feel a bit more optimistic and am actually believing that perhaps I do deserve nice things.
Thanks to everyone I have not thanked singly (and to those I have) and hugs to those who are going through bad patches and to everyone else.

guinea_pig_girl

Idris - I was just thinking this yseterday, once I give things an amotional significance or transfer emotions to them it makes it that much harder to chuck them. Eg. Aww, poor teddy bear, can't throw you out, you are so cute and are smiling as if u like me.... poor worn out fleece, have worn you for so long, you are safe and familiar.

Brightonbelle and Blossomhill - thank you , he does(poor soul) still like me now the shoes are gone, phew.
Whitewing - that great feeling that you might be able to be in control, or better able to cope. Hugs
Penguin83 - nice to have a tidy bit that has to be retidied rather than starting in on the scary, messy bits, think am with you there
Jojo - it is hard to see the reality, and it is such a different mindset to not trust in the c#rp. To see them in harsh daylight, they are only a clapped out pair of shoes. Thank you for your insight
Granny28 - you do deserve nice things! We all do. I so kno9w what you mean, I find it so, so hard to buy nice things, aprtly as I make mistakes buying clothes and don't like being wrong, and partly cos feel I so do not deserve them.. Much easier wearing strange cast offs instead.

Hugs to all and a nice hot cup of tea!

blossomhill_2

Catriona_P wrote: »

I just tried to search for this and no luck

Good to hear there's another eBay free listing weekend - going to have another go at selling our dining table/sideboard. I've had it up on our local Facebook selling page and had a bit of interest but nobody round to look at it and I'm starting to get a bit desperate. Can't move the rest of the furniture around until it's gone! :mad:

What is your Plan B?
If the item don't sell, what could you do, you need to think it through, as it is a possibility in this financial climate, or maybe people just don't aspire to have similar items

Would you let the fact that you can't sell them derail the rest of your plans?

Could you

• reduce the price
• give them to a CS
• freecycle them
• give them to someone you know who can't afford them
• pay for storage?

You may think that you can't afford to do this but we have listed on here before the way that hoarded items cost us money, in less obvious ways such as rebuying items because we can't find the original, to the more obscure such as costing marriages or relationships

Penguin83; I am getting a little obsessive over this one place though. I keep retidying it and making sure nothing gets put there that shouldn't be which is laughable given the state of the rest of the house!

Penguin it sounds like a good obsession, or a healthy aspiration, to keep an area tidy, now to build on that and get the space to spread a little so you don't focus too much on your hall but can start to appreciate space around you in the other areas - so well done you! :T

blossomhill_2

Catriona_P wrote: »

I just tried to search for this and no luck

This is the link -http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode..._and_Shopping/

Catriona_P

blossomhill wrote: »

What is your Plan B?
If the item don't sell, what could you do, you need to think it through, as it is a possibility in this financial climate, or maybe people just don't aspire to have similar items

Would you let the fact that you can't sell them derail the rest of your plans?


Could you

• reduce the price
• give them to a CS
• freecycle them
• give them to someone you know who can't afford them
• pay for storage?

You may think that you can't afford to do this but we have listed on here before the way that hoarded items cost us money, in less obvious ways such as rebuying items because we can't find the original, to the more obscure such as costing marriages or relationships

You're absolutely right in that I need a Plan B. I've already reduced the price on them but if they don't sell at this price I'll reduce them a bit more. We need to replace them with a dining set that's a bit smaller and as money is tight I can't really afford to let them go for nothing. Storage isn't really an option as can't afford that. I've asked around to see if anybody we know wants them but nobody needs a dining set.

To be honest, if they don't sell we'll just have to keep them and forget about moving furniture to suit the house better. But it will be very frustrating. They were a gift when we got married so husband won't part with them without making a bit of cash back.

Thanks for the iplayer link, will be listening to this later