Am I right to be annoyed.

London50

Do not worry as many on here have said you have done the right thing and as for the text, two choices 1} ignore it or 2} text back "I would love to but the spare money went feeding YOUR children":0)
OK I know that you do not know any of us except for on this forum but I am sure that we ALL support you and hope that if you need someone away from face to face people the ones on here will be there if needed :0)

Hazel_

Thats sweet, Thank you

As for the text, My phone accidently deleted it. Its so wierd how it deletes begging texts. Must contact samsung on the 31st Feb to fix it

esmy

Hazel_ wrote: »

Mine wasn't annoymous as I gave details. I asked for my details not to be mentioned and they said fine. Does that change things?

No it shouldn't change anything - if you've asked for your details to be kept confidential this should be respected. Again, it won't stop your sister taking a good guess at who has reported her so you might expect some fall out. Just keep reminding yourself that this is about two little girls who are the only ones without any choices in this situation.

Well done for taking that step - not easy I know, but those children are way too small to be treated like this.

Own_My_Own

Hazel_ wrote: »

Thank you everyone for your inputs. I'm a little apprehensive at the minute. Worried what will happen

I can understand you worrying, but you have done the right thing. How many times have you seen cases on the News and thought someone in the family MUST have known what was happening.
She may not be actually abusing them, but neglect is,(in my mind) a form of abuse.

I doubt SS will actually do anything. But a visit may be the kick up the ars* your sister needs.

Hazel_

I know, I've seen the news and seen it happen before. I'm just so worried for the girls. My younger sister called me last night for a talk and she mentioned the girls seem happier at hers than at home and if I thought they were happy at mine.

I've been so worried I've not been sleeping properly

rpc

Own_My_Own wrote: »

She may not be actually abusing them, but neglect is,(in my mind) a form of abuse.

Not just in your mind. Neglect is the single most common form of abuse and 44% of kids who are on a child protection register were there for reasons that include neglect (in the UK in 2011). Compare that to 13% for physical abuse and 6% for sexual abuse.

Everyone thinks that abuse is about hitting kids or doing something sexual, but that is a distortion of reality. It is far more common for a child to be abused by simply failing to provide for their basic needs. NSPCC survey suggests that 1 in 6 yound adults were neglected at some point in childhood and 1 in 10 were severely neglected at some point.

A report to social services was absolutely the right thing to do in this scenario.

Hazel_

Thank you

I am still worried I did the right thing, worrying to the extent my boyfriend is worrying that he's done something because I have been a bit distant last day or so.

Gahh sorry!

Lilith1980

Hi OP, been lurking and reading this thread.

You're bound to be worried, you are worried about the kids but at the end of the day your sister is your sister and maybe there's a part of you that doesn't want to hurt her?

But you totally did the right thing, as rpc said abuse does not have to be physical, it can be when parents do not meet the basic needs of their children such as food, clothing etc.

Your sister had a nerve, not only expecting you to look after the children but then the next day assuming you'd look after them all day. She is a mother, and responsibilities change when you have children to look after, she doesn't seem to get that, or maybe she's in denial about it.

Try not to work yourself up about it OP - if you get any abusive texts then 'accidentally' delete them again. She will give up when she gets bored and gets no reaction from you.

xx

Mrs.W_2

Lilith1980 wrote: »

Hi OP, been lurking and reading this thread.

You're bound to be worried, you are worried about the kids but at the end of the day your sister is your sister and maybe there's a part of you that doesn't want to hurt her?

But you totally did the right thing, as rpc said abuse does not have to be physical, it can be when parents do not meet the basic needs of their children such as food, clothing etc.

Your sister had a nerve, not only expecting you to look after the children but then the next day assuming you'd look after them all day. She is a mother, and responsibilities change when you have children to look after, she doesn't seem to get that, or maybe she's in denial about it.

Try not to work yourself up about it OP - if you get any abusive texts then 'accidentally' delete them again. She will give up when she gets bored and gets no reaction from you.

xx

Hmm.. I would say save any negatively themed texts. If things took a turn for the worst, they would be evidence of those less than motherly aspects of the sister's character.

Hoping your sister receives any help she might need to be a better mother, Hazel.

Hazel_

She had a visit from "The social" as she says As we thought, I'm being blamed.

Got a few nasty messages. Feel like rubbish. On my own as my boyfriend is working. I'm thinking of getting a new number.

Apparently I'm destroying the family. I'm going to get whats coming to me.