Am I right to be annoyed.

andygb

Hazel_ wrote: »

She usually takes them round to my younger sister, I'm generally seen as the last resort. Last time they were here, My sister told them to ignore my boyfriend!

I think (she hasn't said she will collect them) she expects me to drop them off tomorrow!

This seems to me, to be a "one way street" of favours, where your sister treats everyone like doormats.
I think that it is about time that you (and possibly other family members) started to say no, and reminded her of her responsibilities in life, and how she may like to become a more considerate person.

London50

Hi Hazel

I have been following this thread since you posted last night and take it from me {as a grandparent} you have done the right thing with regardss to your sister and more so with her children. !!! a parent and a grandparent if my children treated my grandchildren the way your sister has treated hers I would have no quarms about reporting my own for abuse.
Your sister {as an adult} can {by herself} pick and choose what she wants to do with her life but as soon as children are involved they come first,second and third and the adult comes last.
You have your own life to live and you are not at the call of your siter at any time. At the moment I believe that there are many conflicting thoughts going on with you as to "should I have or not" but you have done the right thing and even if your sister never forgives you I know your neices will :0)

meritaten

you mention your younger sister Hazel, who you seem to be on good terms with. Would she back you up do you think (if the Sh!!t does hit the fan?)
I feel sorry for your nieces - but, I think you did the right thing!

Hazel_

meritaten wrote: »

you mention your younger sister Hazel, who you seem to be on good terms with. Would she back you up do you think (if the Sh!!t does hit the fan?)
I feel sorry for your nieces - but, I think you did the right thing!

Thank you everyone.

Yeah, She would. If they did take them away, I guess I'd never get tosee them/

Yorkie1

OP, your sister has shown her true colours to you and I agree with the other posters that you have done the right thing to express your concerns.

Depending on the reaction of her local social services / council, it may be that she guesses that you reported her - but you have the support of your OH, and know that you've done the right thing.

If she continues to harass and be abusive, keep all the evidence and remember that you have the option of escalating that aspect of things to the police - it's illegal to harass and abuse people.

Nobody can know whether she will stop you seeing your nieces, but try not to fear this unless & until it comes to that. Think of the long-term, which may pan out completely differently.

Savvy_Sue

snozberry wrote: »

I've been lurking on this thread and have been as outraged as everyone else. I don't understand how any loving mother can behave in this way. Those poor children! And, her behaviour can't be very good for their self-esteem. If they ate 'as they had never eaten before' you might want to think about neglect and whether or not social services should be contacted.

I was astonished to get so far through the thread before anyone raised these concerns.

Hazel_ wrote: »

I know. I could raise concerns and they wouldn't say its me would they?

How could I stay involved though if my sister will block me?

Just be aware that SS MAY say that you reported her. However, that doesn't mean you did the wrong thing. And if your sister is as bad as you describe, there's no guarantee she wouldn't block you anyway ...

Things would have to be really bad before the girls were removed from your sister's care.

Hazel_

So even though I asked them to keep annoymous they could still pass my details on?

swampduck

No!! and if they do - you could always sue them!! FWIW - you did right!!

Swampy

Hazel_

Savvy_sue said they still could. I'm so confused.

Savvy_Sue

Hazel_ wrote: »

So even though I asked them to keep annoymous they could still pass my details on?

I believe they could.

swampduck wrote: »

No!! and if they do - you could always sue them!! FWIW - you did right!!

There is a thread - sorry I don't remember any details - where exactly that happened. There have been other threads which have confirmed that if you report to SS the details may NOT be kept confidential.

Even if the details are kept confidential, chances are sister is going to blame one or both of her sisters, since both have stood up to her recently.