am i wrong to feel so hurt?

yvonne13_2

OP have you spoken or seen your partner today? I don't want this to drag out as I'm feeling that your heart is hurting.

saddo1

saw gf today-she dropped keys off. she didnt want to talk. felt rotten after and discussed with friend. still feel crap but think it had to be done as i wasnt enjoying it. when there are warning signs its best to heed them i guess. even when you dont want to

can my needs ever be met? how scary a thought is that?

Bogof_Babe

saddo1 wrote: »

saw gf today-she dropped keys off. she didnt want to talk. felt rotten after and discussed with friend. still feel crap but think it had to be done as i wasnt enjoying it. when there are warning signs its best to heed them i guess. even when you dont want to

can my needs ever be met? how scary a thought is that?

Of course they can. You just need some breathing space to work out how to recognise what you want, and more importantly deserve.

I think some posters have been a bit hard on you. You've just been through a traumatic few days, over the so-called "festive season" at that, and your emotions will be all over the place for a while.

What you do need to do is decide how you will handle it if your (ex?) g/f comes back with her tail between her legs. Don't just get straight back on the same old treadmill without being reasonably confident that it is going somewhere you want to go this time.

yvonne13_2

OP don't be to hard on yourself take each day as it comes and focus on getting your confidence back

saddo1

the virtual kind words are very much appreciated

piglet25

Sending you a big (((((((((((hug))))))))))))) And hope you find what you are looking for soon

saddo1

another update: it has been a rollercoaster week (few months actually) and im just about out of the other side.

exgf came over to talk and it was good. im embarassed to say some of the things i was upset with her about were actually what i was guilty of- particularly not talking about how i felt. i realised i'd made assumptions that were wrong, and run away with them. i also relaised i was pre menstrual (cant believe it still affects me but it does) and that there are things i need to get a grip of in my life, rather than moan and wring my hands, which is what i have been doing.

feel like a weight has lifted- i can see more clearly what i need to do to get out of the rut im in, especially with my job, and we have agreed to give the relationship another go- we talked and will keep talking. obviously if it doesnt work out so be it but i think i had more of a part in the problems than i was able to recognise. my attitude to xmas and gifts is a problem. i can see that now. what i do about it is another matter, of course.

thanks again everyone who took the time to reply to my posts. all have been helpful even though i couldnt always acknowledge it.

Amanda65

Excellent - sounds as though you have a real chance of making it work. If it doesn't however at least you will go into your next relationship better equipped to know what you want.

yvonne13_2

Good luck OP and have a happy new year

Welshwoofs

Great news that you've thrashed it out between you Op! If you can keep those lines of communication open you stand a really good chance. I'd also say that the festive period is often a strain on relationships - different expectations of what the experience should be like, external worries and usually a whole load of soul searching about where we are in life!