am i wrong to feel so hurt?

Bogof_Babe

Agree with Barney, put the money down to experience and walk away with pride. Imagine how she and her friends would talk about you if you ask to be reimbursed. Anyway presumably it was your decision to pay for the holidays?

I was wondering how you both got on while on your own together? Did you talk in any depth about where you saw things heading, or was it just fun and a bit of a romp?

yvonne13_2

saddo1 wrote: »

i think i know what i need to do.. really appreciate the feedback/thoughts.

need to get a grip and follow my gut. just dont want to end something if its about my insecurities. i can see though that ive been too intense and needy and whatever the circumstances, those are rarely good attributes. but she isnt giving me what i need regardless, so will end it soon...would like some money back though, if thats not too mercenary

Are you joking? It comes across like your paying for her and if she doesn't give what you think you deserve you want your money back.....I hope I'm reading this wrong.
Put it down to experience and man up to how your coming across.

saddo1

actually im a woman- does that make a diffenrece?

yes fair enough, i'll shut up about money and get it sorted. i stick to my word and expect the same from others. saddo, as ive already said.

but i need to stop focusing on cash and get out i suppose thats the message

yvonne13_2

saddo1 wrote: »

actually im a woman- does that make a diffenrece?

yes fair enough, i'll shut up about money and get it sorted. i stick to my word and expect the same from others. saddo, as ive already said.

but i need to stop focusing on cash and get out i suppose thats the message

Yes it does make a difference OP I'm sorry but for you to have been paying for stuff and not sitting down and talking to your partner it looks like you have used money to get this person when they clearly don't want you.
Sorry for sounding harsh.

lika_86

I don't think it makes a difference if you're female or not really, why would it?

yvonne13_2

It only makes a difference because I thought I was talking to a man, but neither situation nor what I have said makes no difference.

saddo1

just people assumimg im a man, and i see there are different rules for men and momen for lots of people- like that men should pay for stuff. and be taller. alsorts of stuff.

we have talked. i have raised stuff. she struggles to talk. im not exactly keen on conflict, but i could see early onit was unbalanced and tried ti talk about it. she gets upset and says im wrong. thats it. makes discussion tricky

yvonne13_2

saddo1 wrote: »

just people assumimg im a man, and i see there are different rules for men and momen for lots of people- like that men should pay for stuff. and be taller. alsorts of stuff.

we have talked. i have raised stuff. she struggles to talk. im not exactly keen on conflict, but i could see early onit was unbalanced and tried ti talk about it. she gets upset and says im wrong. thats it. makes discussiontricky

OP I don't know what going on here you make out like your a man then next you say your a woman and now your a man again..... you talk about the relationship being unbalanced and she finds it a struggle to talk to you I can kind of understand why now if you play these kind of head games with her.
Just give her a nice new year and walk away.

lika_86

yvonne13 wrote: »

OP I don't know what going on here you make out like your a man then next you say your a woman and now your a man again..... you talk about the relationship being unbalanced and she finds it a struggle to talk to you I can kind of understand why now if you play these kind of head games with her.
Just give her a nice new year and walk away.

I don't think the OP is playing headgames, I assumed when the OP said she was female that she is either bi or homosexual and so in a relationship with a woman.

Bogof_Babe

Well obviously it negates my earlier comment about there being lots of women out there looking for a man like you!

May I ask how much previous relationship experience you have had yourself? Have you been in other (gay or straight) relationships, and if so, what caused them to end? Presumably by 40 you will have had some life experience to draw on, and compare with your current partner.

I'm trying to establish whether you are both of similar backgrounds, or whether she is a lot more experienced than you? Is she perhaps a serial philanderer, while you are looking for someone to settle down with?

Obviously your sexuality does somewhat narrow down the options for finding a new potential partner, but you can't let that be a reason to hang on to one that isn't working for you.