am i wrong to feel so hurt?

hm71_2

i remeber when i started my relationship with my new partner- im very social, outgoing have lots of friends- my partner is very much a home body- he loves to be round me all the time & i, he and the first year he bought me a pen- i loved it as im always loosing them-but i realised very early on that we are different animals socially-but we spoke about it and he understands that sometimes i do my thing & he does his-as many people have said here talk to your g/f see what she expects etc.. it may be a case that her friends/family are not aware that she is homosexual- i know my friends daughter was very apprehensive about telling people that she was in a gay relationship fear of others reactions can have a very strange effect.

saddo1

ok heres an update. gf rang earlier- she said shall i come over? yesterday we had agreed she would. i said its up to you, she said oh, ok wont then. not much more than this. awkward. im so fed up i couldnt pretend i was jolly.

so thats it i suppose. i purposely didnt put on a cheery act and say yes. left it to her and she was clearly taken aback. im sad but no more belly aching/fretting/wondering. no contact since which speaks volumes.

i am now wondering if shes ok and hoping she isnt too sad. itching to text but that would be wrong.

new year new start. NOOOOO more dating. gah.

lika_86

saddo1 wrote: »

ok heres an update. gf rang earlier- she said shall i come over? yesterday we had agreed she would. i said its up to you, she said oh, ok wont then. not much more than this. awkward. im so fed up i couldnt pretend i was jolly.

so thats it i suppose. i purposely didnt put on a cheery act and say yes. left it to her and she was clearly taken aback. im sad but no more belly aching/fretting/wondering. no contact since which speaks volumes.

new year new start. NOOOOO more dating. gah.

She phoned you to ask you about coming over to see you, you didn't sound at all bothered about seeing her, despite previously agreeing that you would see each other and then you're surprised when she is taken aback and decides not to see you if you don't sound bothered about seeing her? You're also surprised that she hasn't initiated further contact since SHE phoned YOU earlier today and you didn't sound bothered?

I think the problems with this relationship are more of your making than hers.

Barny1979

I agree to some extent, but it had already been agreed she would come over, so why ring and check at 9pm?

saddo1

maybe so. but the pattern is me initiating almost everything. so i was passive when she rang, kind of hoping she would be active and do something rather than be directed.

yvonne13_2

saddo1 wrote: »

maybe so. but the pattern is me initiating almost everything. so i was passive when she rang, kind of hoping she would be active and do something rather than be directed.

OP please...... all your doing is hurting yourself more and more, because you have stopped jumping to the sound of her fiddle she was taken aback.

Don't you dare start worrying about what she's thinking she should have thought about what you were thinking when she forgot to home for two nights.

saddo1

yes yvonne i know. am off to bed soon and phone will be off. thanks for all the thoughts

yvonne13_2

saddo1 wrote: »

yes yvonne i know. am off to bed soon and phone will be off. thanks for all the thoughts

Please try not to worry everything will be ok xx

thegirlintheattic

Sounds like she wanted to check, I often used to, and you sounded not bothered/annoyed so she decided not to. don't play games.

saddo1

im not playing games, why on earth would i?

i am changing how i respond as i said earlier- not arranging and jumping and people pleasing. im not happy in this relationship- writing it down, thinking it htru, looking at it from different perspectives- all these have helped me come to this

im not angry im sad but ok. noone did anything awful, we just arent well suited and i wasnt getting my emotional needs met. better to end it now i think, at least ive given it thought and consideration, not knee jerked. or actually maybe if i had ended it when i was hearing some alarm bells it would have been easier all round. anyway, whats done is done