am i wrong to feel so hurt?

saddo1

Name changed due to embaressment.

My gf of 5 months spent last night and today elsewhere. she popped in earlier with presents. Weve been away twice- arranged and paid for by me. She agreed she will pay for the next holiday.

I wanted to spend the day with her but she always spends it with friends she said today. I was fed up and told her so, in november. Shes said shes committed to us, wants to be with me long term, said she loves me etc. But she rarely does anything to show it. I feel like an ungrateful child but crucially i feel unloved, despite her words.

I asked how much we should sprend on one another for xmas- we agreed £100. I got 2 champagne glasses and a parekr pen from her. Nice. I bought her a 7" tablet, bits and piceces and clothes. I feel like ive again made lots of effort, put lots of thought in and shes been to wh smiths.

yes yes i feel like a complete ungrateful !!!!!! but am I? Im in my 40s, solvent, have lovely friends and family but feel so alone at the moment. shes met many of my loved ones and ive met 1 of her mates, sort of by accident. she says they are odd, and her ex is part of the group, hence me not meeting them.

please give feedback but dont be mean, im delicate, whatever you think of my tale

thanks

Sambucus_Nigra

What sort of feedback are you looking for?

saddo1

am I overreacting? Is it me? how would you feel in a similar situation?

ziggy2004

It sounds like the relationship is more important to you then it is to her. I guess I would take a small step back and see if she responds by drawing closer or by drifting away and take your decision from there.

Torry_Quine

It does seem strange to me that she doesn't want to spend time with you. I do think though that she has got a good present for you within budget whereas you appear to have over-spent.

Sambucus_Nigra

saddo1 wrote: »

am I overreacting? Is it me? how would you feel in a similar situation?

I think you are being taken for a mug or are desperate for her attention and may be trying to buy her affection just a little.

But you said you were delicate so...are you up to receiving this sort of feedback?

VfM4meplse

Actions speak louder than words and you are starting to see that....

This one's not for keeps. Don't let loneliness devalue your self-esteem and cloud your judgement. Also don't attach any importance to today, or you'll really start to feel sorry for yourself.

Good luck.

saddo1

ive not overpsent- im good at saving money and getting a good deal

oh i feel mega sorry for myself, not attractive i know. feel sh1te. but not clear how much is other stuff and how much is due to this relationship. my mates are divided- some say fair enough she spends xmas elsewhere, others are horrified (exaggeration perhaps)

had a shockimg time last xmas on my own so i suppose a bit sensitive and raw and worry im overraecting this year

thanks for your comments

Bogof_Babe

Sorry but she doesn't sound very committed to the relationship with you, if this is her general attitude. How old is she? Close to your own age, or is there a bit of a "generational" gap?

There are thousands of genuine, loving, unattached women out there who would give their right arm for a decent bloke like you appear to be. If you really want this one, it's time for some straight talking.

Barny1979

If she's acting like this in her 40s, which I presume she is as you are, then she is taking you for a ride. I did this last year, spent a lot on a girl I'd been seeing for 6 weeks, my choice, as I wanted to. But got sod all, not even a card.

Torry_Quine

saddo1 wrote: »

ive not overpsent- im good at saving money and getting a good deal

oh i feel mega sorry for myself, not attractive i know. feel sh1te. but not clear how much is other stuff and how much is due to this relationship. my mates are divided- some say fair enough she spends xmas elsewhere, others are horrified (exaggeration perhaps)

had a shockimg time last xmas on my own so i suppose a bit sensitive and raw and worry im overraecting this year

thanks for your comments

I want to know where you shop to get that lot for under £100. :xmastree: