The poor relation

thehappybutterfly

I feel for you OP but you need to let it go. You have no idea what might be going on behind closed doors. Maybe your sis and SIL are lonely and miserable and are filling their lives with material things. Maybe they feel unfulfilled? You say their hubbies are nice blokes - nice blokes can be barstewards behind the scenes you know. The expensive cars and exotic holidays might all be on credit - they might be up to their eyeballs in debt but appearances have to be maintained.

If you're genuinely happy with your life, forget about what others have or do with their lives. If you're unhappy and aspire to have the same life as they do, do something about it.

Let it go. You'll only come across as bitter and jealous.

bouncydog1

Just be happy with what you've achieved and the life you have. We have incredibly wealthy friends - downside is OH is away a lot, they have to entertain clients and always look nice and have a showhome they can't fully relax in.

If all else fails respond with Mrs Brown's "that's nice". And if you don't know what that means then watch the series - it's a great leveller!

emslovesmickey

It's true OP, and i speak as the poor relation. It is not worth comparing yourself to others - in fact it is one of the primary causes of unhappiness in todays material obsessed society. The fact of the matter is we have a lot more than others do, and there will always be someone better off than you are. For all you know, your sister and sister in law feel exactly the same when looking at other people that they know. If they are rubbing it in your face then the best thing to do is ignore them and don't let it make you seethe inside. Be grateful for what you do have.

bestpud

Things aren't always how they seem.

I would never assume that money and holidays means happiness.

If you spend any length of time on these boards you will see many of the more screwed up, attention seeking posters could be described as well off.

Don't waste your life wishing for something else - make the most of what you have here and now.

sassyblue

good_advice wrote: »

Some times people that have top of the range things are in a lot of dept. Like a pack of cards will fall one day.

They're in a lot of department? I guess you mean debt.

Sorry couldn't resist.

OP l agree with others here who've politely pointed out it may be you who has a chip on their shoulder.

My husbands brother and his wife were terminal braggers, whatever you had came down to how much was paid for it and they had no shame in actually asking you how much you paid either! Their friends were the same it was the set they appeared to move in.

RoxieW

In my circle we all work hard (some in the home) and so can truly celebrate and be happy for one another's achievements and share the things we are excited about. I don't like being around people who rain on my parade and wouldn't do the same to anyone I cared about. Can't you just be happy for them and like others have said, try to better your life if that is what you want?

Muscle750

All comments have been took on board and although many are not seeing it how we do or hopefully in the new year did happy Xmas to u all and at the end of the day money can't buy health

lallysmum

I am very much the poor relation in our family.
I have 4 brothers, 3 of whom are married (wives don't work) each has three children (2 sets in private school) all live in nice big houses, go on fabby holidays every year, have horses etc etc etc.
I am a single parent to two children, have a part time cleaning business during school hours.. HOWEVER, all my brothers work in the City, travel endlessly for business, leave for work at 6 in the morning and get home at 7/8 at night. I start at 9.15 and finish at 2.30. I have all evening with my children, can swap things around so that I am always at their school things. Of course, I'd love to have their money, but I wouldn't have their lives for anything.

Blimey, how holier than thou do I sound? lol. I suppose I'v just learned that comparing what people have drives you crazy. I'm just happy with my lot*



*However, the £300 million lottery win would just make everything perfect please, Universe, so you know pull your finger out!

lostinrates

lallysmum wrote: »

I am very much the poor relation in our family.
I have 4 brothers, 3 of whom are married (wives don't work) each has three children (2 sets in private school) all live in nice big houses, go on fabby holidays every year, have horses etc etc etc.
I am a single parent to two children, have a part time cleaning business during school hours.. HOWEVER, all my brothers work in the City, travel endlessly for business, leave for work at 6 in the morning and get home at 7/8 at night. I start at 9.15 and finish at 2.30. I have all evening with my children, can swap things around so that I am always at their school things. Of course, I'd love to have their money, but I wouldn't have their lives for anything.

Blimey, how holier than thou do I sound? lol. I suppose I'v just learned that comparing what people have drives you crazy. I'm just happy with my lot*



*However, the £300 million lottery win would just make everything perfect please, Universe, so you know pull your finger out!

We are the opposite. Of immeadiate family dh is probably doing the best in our generation of siblings and first cousins right now. But like your brothers he works long hours, only he doesn't come home at nights, just weekends (we decided this solution suited our circumstances best).

However...as many have said, money cannot buy you health. I developed a life threatening neurological issue ten years or so ago. I have got considerably better until this year where I developed further issues. We also cannot have children because of me. . Further more we have made compromises others in our family would not make, or could not, and understand the benefit of delayed gratification, even when trying to live for this year, not next year.

Life is swings and roundabouts. There is no totally right or totally wrong option to go for that suits all people. Comparing our bigger mortgage or greater potential for credit or what we spent this year might seem onerous till its remembered that for the second time in ten years we thought I was about to peg it and we chose the lifestyle we now have as the best option under the circumstances, not the best option.

Op, have a wonderful Christmas.

Curlywurli

I'm the poor relation as well. My sister's children are at Private School and they live in a fantastic house. My husband's friends are very successful and their wives are stay at home mums. The difference between our families is that I see my husband and so do the kids. We eat dinner together and he bathes the kids and puts them to bed. I also enjoy my job and am happy to go to work. I wouldn't mind winning the lottery but who wouldn't.