The poor relation

good_advice

Some times people that have top of the range things are in a lot of dept. Like a pack of cards will fall one day.

onlyroz

Define "bragging". Is it just them telling you about what they're up to or is it genuine nose-rubbing with the aim to make you feel inferior? Because I would be upset if relatives expected me to hide the fact that I'm going on holiday or that I've bought a new car just because they couldn't afford to do the same.

jtr2803

onlyroz wrote: »

Define "bragging". Is it just them telling you about what they're up to or is it genuine nose-rubbing with the aim to make you feel inferior? Because I would be upset if relatives expected me to hide the fact that I'm going on holiday or that I've bought a new car just because they couldn't afford to do the same.

I am SO glad you said this, I really am. I am a bit at the point where I have to watch what is coming out of my mouth these days because I am worried about being classed as a 'bragger' and it's really horrible at times trying not to be excited about things because of how others might or do react. My favourite comment is that I obviously earn too much.......(I don't, I just spent a long time having to live frugally and old habits die hard!).

I have the utmost respect for those who have nice lives, the vast majority of those people didn't have it handed to them on a plate, they often have to work their butts off for it, long hours, lots of training and responsbility etc. I never had that lifestyle when I was younger but I knew I wanted some luxuries so I did 7 years of training to get to where I am now so why can't I talk about the things I've earnt?

jtr2803

good_advice wrote: »

Some times people that have top of the range things are in a lot of dept. Like a pack of cards will fall one day.

And sometimes they just happen to be really financially savvy and hard workers?

RadoJo

Muscle750 wrote: »

It's purely the fact that neither of them have worked a stroke in their lives and yet we both work and can't afford such things best part of it both their husbands are really nice people and very down to earth and do not blow their trumpet at all that's all

I wouldn't work if my husband earned enough money to give us both a comfortable lifestyle, and anyone who would think less of me for that I would assume was petty, jealous and disappointed with the choices that they had made for themselves. And why wouldn't their husbands be nice? Earning more money than you doesn't make them bad people, even if it does mean that only one of them needs to work, that they can afford things that you can't or that they talk about the exciting things happening in their lives. If you won the lottery, presumably you would give up work and enjoy life - I hope your friends and family wouldn't resent you because you 'hadn't worked for it'.

pollypenny

Some harsh comments to OP here.

Maybe his sister and sister-in- law could be a little more sensitive.

Muscle750

Well it certainly got response I'd say that I know there's people worse off than us I'm not saying they're aren't however to show what my sister is like she lent our mother some money to buy their last house it was about £20k which she phoned me and told me then told me that they were obviously charging her the interest the loan was repaid within a year and yet still it was loaded .......her own mother!!!

DonaldTrumpsHair

pollypenny wrote: »

Some harsh comments to OP here.

Maybe his sister and sister-in- law could be a little more sensitive.

Totally agree, MSE the home of the empathy free harpie. Lots of people do know how you feel OP, unlike the judgemental bullies circling here to make you feel even worse about yourself!

Only looked in, some things never change. What is it about this website?

Treevo

Muscle750 wrote: »

Well it certainly got response I'd say that I know there's people worse off than us I'm not saying they're aren't however to show what my sister is like she lent our mother some money to buy their last house it was about £20k which she phoned me and told me then told me that they were obviously charging her the interest the loan was repaid within a year and yet still it was loaded .......her own mother!!!

Your point? Perhaps your mother insisted on paying interest? Your tk other wasn't forced to borrow from your sister.

You could have always lent her the money yourself but that would require you to work harder.

lady1964

We're considered the 'better off' relation and I don't mean that in a bragging way, it's just how it is.

OH has always had a very good job but he's put in the years, hours and time away from us as a family while he earned. I didn't work for 14 years after our kids were born and although I work now, I don't earn a huge salary by any means, I'm actually earning £7k less than I was 18 months ago due to redundancy and other reasons.

We have nice holidays etc but I'm always careful not to be seen as bragging, I don't volunteer much information unless I'm asked, then it's a simple 'yes, we're going to blah blah this year.'

My extended family are pleased for us, they realise we've had good and bad things happen to us and know how much we appreciate how fortunate we are to have what we have. On occasion, we feel we've been in the right place at the right time, but equally, OH has been financially astute and we are reaping the benefit of that now. Equally, my extended family know we'd always help them out if needed.

OP, you do sound envious and I would heed the advice already given on here. Appreciate what you do have and think that there are always people less fortunate than you and try to be pleased for your SIL and sister, hard it may be if you feel they are rubbing your nose in it, they probably aren't.