The poor relation

barbarawright

Muscle750 wrote: »

It's purely the fact that neither of them have worked a stroke in their lives and yet we both work and can't afford such things best part of it both their husbands are really nice people and very down to earth and do not blow their trumpet at all that's all

Do you really enjoy what you have (which is a lot) less, because someone else has more? Do they have children? They may be thinking that you always talk about yours when they don't have any. It's natural that people talk about what they do - people probably think I go out a lot more than I do but who wants to talk about staying in and watching telly? Is it really so terrible that they talk about their holidays or new car? Do you never do the same?

SavingPennies_2

I guess even though they havent worked thier husbands have so why shouldt they enjoy thier money. If your husband earned a bigger salary he might be happy for you to give up work and stay at home too and would you not want to stay at home and go on nice holidays?

I really think as hard as it is its best to avoid comparing yourself to other people and just concentratwe on what you have.

You have a nice house, husband and children, things you might take for granted but many would be jealous of you and would love to have the life you have.

con1888

Maybe they just enjoy the lifestyles they live? I know I would if I were them.

You are coming off as being plain jealous imo.

splishsplash

Different people have different lives. Surely you know this by now? Some people earn more than others, some work harder than others, some are looked after all their lives, others have to look after themselves. Some have easier lives than others, no doubt about it. That's not exactly a new or novel concept though.

Sounds like your sister in law and you sister both have more money than you, better lifestyles than you, easier lives than you, they don't have to work and can afford cruises and cars etc.
You can't.
Deal with it. It is what it is. Jealousy is not a good look on anyone.

Cast a quick look around you, I guarantee you will see plenty of poeple who don't have the nice house, jobs and wonderful children you have, and who could feel just as jealous of you. Bit of a pointless exercise though, and a waste of energy.

persa

Muscle750 wrote: »

I'm getting abit sick and tired of listening to both my sister in law and my sister bragging on about their expensive holidays and how they are so looking forward to it and can't wait to get away from it best part of it neither of them have worked and its all what their husbands have earnt we haven't had a holiday now for 4 years life's a real struggle ones off on a 6 week cruise to the caribeean the others off for a month to the Far East I just feel we're having our noses rubbed in it best part my sis in law remarried and in my opinion was gold digging her first husband never did her any harm that I know of and she up and left and within a year she was remarried
We got a nice house and wonderfull children but I'm just sick of struggling and listening to tales of big holidays cars etc when I last saw my sis in law I was shown the latest acquirment the new cars not one but two we worked out at a cost of £50k I wouldn't mind it's just they won't bloody stop goin on about it all

Muscle750 wrote: »

It's purely the fact that neither of them have worked a stroke in their lives and yet we both work and can't afford such things best part of it both their husbands are really nice people and very down to earth and do not blow their trumpet at all that's all

The comments you have made about your SIL go beyond jealousy and are just spiteful and cruel, IMHO. No one knows what goes on behind closed doors - just because no one hits each other, doesn't means it's a good relationship.

There will always be others better off than you, just as there are others worse off than you - if you go through life comparing yourself to other people, you'll never be happy. Accept what you've got - and if you really can't, do something about it.

pinkshoes

Muscle750 wrote: »

It's purely the fact that neither of them have worked a stroke in their lives and yet we both work and can't afford such things best part of it both their husbands are really nice people and very down to earth and do not blow their trumpet at all that's all

You could always exchange your partner for one that earns more money!?

Treevo

Muscle750 wrote: »

I'm getting abit sick and tired of listening to both my sister in law and my sister bragging on about their expensive holidays and how they are so looking forward to it and can't wait to get away from it best part of it neither of them have worked and its all what their husbands have earnt we haven't had a holiday now for 4 years life's a real struggle ones off on a 6 week cruise to the caribeean the others off for a month to the Far East I just feel we're having our noses rubbed in it best part my sis in law remarried and in my opinion was gold digging her first husband never did her any harm that I know of and she up and left and within a year she was remarried
We got a nice house and wonderfull children but I'm just sick of struggling and listening to tales of big holidays cars etc when I last saw my sis in law I was shown the latest acquirment the new cars not one but two we worked out at a cost of £50k I wouldn't mind it's just they won't bloody stop goin on about it all

Maybe you should've worked a little harder then? Or married someone who did?

You sound jealous and bitter. I'm going to guess that you're up to your eyeballs in debt after refinancing for years and the 'pain' is because the bank won't let you continue in the cycle.

Hermia

Any wrote: »

Also husbands who earn lots of money are often away a lot. If not physically, certainly in their mind. You don't make a lot of money without trying to make them all the time!

My aunt was married to a wealthy businessmen and it was almost a full-time job being his wife. He would phone her at 4.30pm and say he was bringing a client home in two hours and could she have a 3 course meal ready!

OP - you really need to sit and think about whether these people are really bragging or not. If they are just ignore them as I am sure you have things in your life that they don't. But, if they are just chatting about their lives then you have to accept that. You might think it's horrible listening to people talk about all they have, but it's also horrible feeling that you can't talk about your life freely. I have had it happen to me. I have been chatting away about a concert I have just been to or about a weekend away I have just booked and I've suddenly noticed a friend/relative sitting there with a sour, judgmental"it's alright for you" expression on their face. It makes you feel crushed.

Soubrette

Any wrote: »

I hate people saying "they never worked". Because running a family and house is lots of fun isn't it? Bringing children up and virtually be a domestic cleaner is lot of fun isn't it?
I personally could never ever ever ever be stay at home woman. I would go mental. Much harder work then my office hours, that is for sure!! (but my sis was SAHM for years. So I know what I am talking about).

Also husbands who earn lots of money are often away a lot. If not physically, certainly in their mind. You don't make a lot of money without trying to make them all the time!

I think you are one of those people who always think grass is greener elsewhere... You look at people, what they have and compare it what you don't. Rather then what you have and they don't!

To be fair there are stay at home mums that work like a trojan and stay at home mums that don't. My sister is incredibly lazy by most people's standards. I think the only chore she does is transfer the birthday list on the calendar every year and ensure the cards are sent out on time (to be fair a job I'm very poor at:o), even her children do more round the house than she does. On the other hand I have a friend who is a stay at home mum, twin girls under school age, a thriving vegetable garden, decorating the house, makes her own craft items and has to put up with her husband working away in the week. What matters though is both families work. For whatever reason my brother in law is happy with my sisters behaviour and imo actively encourages it and my friends family are tightknit and happy as well.

So being a stay at home mum can be the life of riley or it can be one of the hardest jobs going, it's what you make of it.

I would say that of the two people, my friend always seems much happier than my sister (despite having less money), being a lady of leisure and having no purpose doesn't seem to give people a lot of self esteem and happiness from what I can see.

delain

I'm one of the poor relations in my family. Luckily I do know that this is because of my own life choices and I don't hold it against the wealthier family members! (who, to be fair, did work really hard to get where they are today)