Could you live with your MIL

retepetsir

Hell no!

My wife wouldn't mind living with my parents at all (she used to visit and stay a lot as we're so laid back), but it's quite the reverse for her parents.

No thanks!

lostinrates

Lilith1980 wrote: »

In terms of my OH's mum, I can't say I would be entirely happy as I find her difficult to get along with, very black and white in her thinking. But I would never want to see her isolated, I would do it for my OH but think an annexe would be the best solution.

If it was my mum, I also think an annexe is the best thing, gives each party their privacy but the proximity to be there as a support.

I don't thionk we would cope if dh was putting up with it 'for me' because it would create all sorts of guilt and martyr issues, and potential resentments and frustrations. It would, IMO, be a poor but kind motive that could spell doom!

Miss_Poohs

Just to answer the question without having read the whole thread - no, more tae the point neither could my husband lol.

persa

MIL is fine, whenever we stay with her, she gives OH and I plenty of space - if we want to spend time with her, we do, she doesn't instigate any shared meals, etc, that has to come from us.

If she lived in a wing or annex, she would be fairly unobtrusive, I'm sure. I can't see her turning into a classic nightmare MIL overnight. However, if she became ill (and I suppose that's the point of moving in ageing relatives, they will eventually need help), I'm not sure I would want to care for her and I think OH would be pretty useless in that regard. She's a nice lady and we get on, but we're just not that close. I think to take on caring responsibilities you need to be a special kind of person as well as having a special bond with the person needing care.

Which leads me onto the real reason why I wouldn't live with my MIL - my own mother. She's still alive - what if MIL moved in and the later on, my mother needed somewhere to stay? Could I put MIL before my own mother? No, I honestly couldn't. My mother is far more difficult to live with, but she's my mother.

In this hypothetical scenario with ageing parents and bags of cash, the only parent I'd entertain living with us long term would be my own. Ideally, my mother would be living nearby rather than in the same building - I know she, my OH and I would all find that easier to cope with.

muckybutt

We have just had planning passed for a granny annex.

My inlaws are fantastic and we bought our house with the intention of adding an annex or seperate house as it had land with it, sadly my fil wont get to live here as he passed away in April. All being well she should be moving in sometime in the summer.

Yes we are aware she may need looking after, which is one reason we have designed the house to her future needs but in a way it can be reverted back to just an extension when she is no longer with us.

geoffky

Yes no problem. My wife would say no as the mil winds her up.

Northern_Princess

Yes, and I did until she passed away earlier this year. She was a fantastic MIL. She loved to cook as do I so I took a 'back seat' for a long time, let her cook and take over my kitchen It wasn't a hardship. I miss her like mad and our weekend baking days. She taught me so much in the kitchen. My MIL was another mum to me in a lot of ways as my mum had died. She was very special lady to me.