Where do I stand? Ex won't move out or pay rent

Vortex1

pimento wrote: »

Move your new girlfriend in. If that's not possible then move the friend she hates most in.

It will quite a while before I go near women again. Not saying all women are bad but I will probably be carrying baggage for a while and that is not fair on anyone.

Person_one

Vortex1 wrote: »

I obviously agree with this but to be fair I believe if the people responding knew what I had been put through their responses may be different. That wasn't the reason for the thread, I just wanted to know how I stood legally really and I do appreciate everyone's opinion.

Just remember that your children have been through it all too, but they still love their mother while you don't.

I know its tempting, but when you're tempted to punish her, or act in a way that makes things hard for her, think of the impact it has on your children. That will make compromising and putting up with poor behaviour easier.

(Its what a lot of mums do every day for years. )

Vortex1

Person_one wrote: »

Just remember that your children have been through it all too, but they still love their mother while you don't.

I know its tempting, but when you're tempted to punish her, or act in a way that makes things hard for her, think of the impact it has on your children. That will make compromising and putting up with poor behaviour easier.

(Its what a lot of mums do every day for years. )

I know what you are saying. I wish their Mother had acted the same towards me.

Person_one

Vortex1 wrote: »

I know what you are saying. I wish their Mother had acted the same towards me.

You can only control how you behave.

Amanda65

Vortex1 wrote: »

I obviously agree with this but to be fair I believe if the people responding knew what I had been put through their responses may be different. That wasn't the reason for the thread, I just wanted to know how I stood legally really and I do appreciate everyone's opinion.

Legally I think you have every right to serve her notice - say she has to be out by a certain time regardless of her housing situation. Emotionally however as far as your children go is quite a difference matter .......................

Vortex1 wrote: »

I know what you are saying. I wish their Mother had acted the same towards me.

An therein I guess lies the problem. She has you by the short and curlies and she I presume knows you will not do anything to hurt your children and is using this to her advantage.

Vortex1

Amanda65 wrote: »

An therein I guess lies the problem. She has you by the short and curlies and she I presume knows you will not do anything to hurt your children and is using this to her advantage.

That is so true and has been the case for years.

newcook

She really is having her cake and eating it!!

My parents split up when I was young (about 5) and can honestly say that once my parents were living apart, life was a lot nicer for me and my brother. Even though mom and dad didn’t argue in front of us, the atmosphere was always tense and cold – as a child, that atmosphere is horrible and scary.

OP – try and sit down with your ex and tell her she needs to arrange alternative accommodation as soon as possible for the sake of the children. Give her a date she needs to be out of your house and arrange to change the locks the day after this date.

Also, it may sound petty but take photos of every room (try and date stamp the photos too) incase she decides that she wants this lamp or that sofa etc in her new house.

pinkshoes

1. Move back in. Throw all her stuff out the master bedroom, and give her the box room. It is YOUR house, so grow a pair! Tell her she's welcome to stay until her house is ready, but as it's YOUR house, then she needs to abide by YOUR rules.

2. You can move in with her sister!

3. Issue her with an eviction notice (S8) for not payment of rent, and threaten her with court action for unpaid rent.

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow

How about if you agree to compromise. Say you agree to her staying until early January (but set a definate date like 8 January for example) and then say if she hasn't gone by then you'll be changing the looks and then carry this through.

If you don't stand firm now she'll likely try to manipulate you over every little thing regarding the children in the future.

Vortex1

Thanks guys. I honestly believe the kids will be relieved when it is all over but my ex is not one to go quietly and will do her level best to cause as big a scene as possible along the way.

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow wrote: »

If you don't stand firm now she'll likely try to manipulate you over every little thing regarding the children in the future.

So true. I cannot wait to be out of this situation. I