Where do I stand? Ex won't move out or pay rent

Brighton_belle

silvercar wrote: »

Sounds like she should have delayed the legal completion of you buying her out of your current home until her new house was ready. Then you would have had to accept living together for a few more months.

Presumeably this wasn't possible as she needed the sale money from his house to buy her house. She now wants extra time to do up the house now she owns it.

19lottie82

hmmm hard one. i think after clearing it with a solicitor, you would legally be able to throw her out (ie change the locks) BUT obv this would this be worth the tidlewaves in the future AND the upset it would cause your kids?

do u get on with her sister? could you ask her to talk to her? or a mututal friend perhaps?

otherwise just suck it up for the sake of your kids. you obviously are able to put up with her, as you have admitted you would be willing to IF she paid rent.

aliasojo

Vortex1 wrote: »

My bills associated with the house are over £3200 pcm and I have asked her to pay half of these costs in rent but she has flatly refused. She earns the same as amount as me PA.

Where do I stand please?

Would the house bills be the same if she weren't there too?

Vortex1

Brighton_belle wrote: »

Presumeably this wasn't possible as she needed the sale money from his house to buy her house. She now wants extra time to do up the house now she owns it.

Sorry missed this. Exactly and as the property she is buying is unregistered land or something it takes longer to complete apparently. Once complete she wants 6/8 weeks to refurbish it.

newcook

Wait until she goes to work then get the locks changed.

pearl123

You state you've had house costs for over 10+ years, which leads me to believe that the relationship is over ten years old. I believe if you have had a very long relationship then maybe you should grip your teeth until she has gone for hte childrens sake. And the end of the day it is there emotional wellbeing that is most importand.
Are the caring responsibilities split down the middle? If so then continue to request rent.

elsien

When she says refurb, what does she mean?
Is she talking about pulling out kitchens and bathrooms which would make it difficult to live there, or is it decorating that could be done a room at a time?
(I do think she's being unreasonable in wanting to stay and not pay anything towards the costs, but TBH if your relationship is so bad I'm slightly baffled as to why she wants to stay and put herself through it anyway.)

You have to decide whether the hassle of getting her out and the upset it may cause to the children is going to be worse in the long run that gritting your teeth for a while longer. I think you need to get proper advice on the legalities. From the "fairness" side of things I'd be saying once the sale of her house is complete then she needs to either pay/stay elswhere, but the practicalities of enforcing it may be more difficult.

Person_one

newcook wrote: »

Wait until she goes to work then get the locks changed.

That'll be a memory the children really cherish.

Is there no possibility of a compromise here? Can she stay until the basics that will make the house liveable are finished and then move in while the more cosmetic stuff is done?

There's a lot of hostility towards her in your posts, but you once chose to make a life with her and create children, so sometimes you have to swallow your feelings a bit and do what's best for them.

Vortex1

19lottie82 wrote: »

hmmm hard one. i think after clearing it with a solicitor, you would legally be able to throw her out (ie change the locks) BUT obv this would this be worth the tidlewaves in the future AND the upset it would cause your kids?

do u get on with her sister? could you ask her to talk to her? or a mututal friend perhaps?

otherwise just suck it up for the sake of your kids. you obviously are able to put up with her, as you have admitted you would be willing to IF she paid rent.

Her sister is lovely but clearly she is being feed a sob story from the ex even though I am sure her sister knows deep down what she is like. If it were just me I would have changed the locks the second the house completed but I need to consider the kids. I guess I am tired of being bullied.

Vortex1

pearl123 wrote: »

Y
Are the caring responsibilities split down the middle? If so then continue to request rent.

Yes all custody & costs 50/50