Where do I stand? Ex won't move out or pay rent

silvercar

I think you would be far better agreeing time scales with her than forcing her out. If she is entitled to the kids 50% of the time, then by making her homeless you are making your kids temporarily homeless - because she is not going to leave them with you!

In your mind, think that you agreed as part of the house buy-out that she could stay for a few months until her new home is sorted.

valk_scot

Vortex1 wrote: »

Thanks Val, I have been gritting my teeth for so long they will crack soon.

Practice makes perfect. But seriously, you've come this far, don't lose it over four weeks extra and a months rent. Give her a time limit and stick to it.

Sensible_Jess

pimento wrote: »

Move your new girlfriend in. If that's not possible then move the friend she hates most in.

- I appreciate you've already answered this Vortex, but I wanted to add another thought along similar lines...

Could your Mum (your ex's MIL) come and stay with you for 'a while' after Xmas and around the time when her house purchase is due to complete? That might focus her mind a bit on moving out...:rotfl:

(BTW - I'm sure your Mum is lovely - not trying to cast aspersions on her, but I've discovered that after a split in-laws tend to get a bit frosty and it might do the trick....)


I can sympathise with pinklady - had the same with my ex (no children though). I bought him out of the house but he seemed to think he could still live there rent free as he had 'no where else to go' (Not even his [STRIKE]slapper[/STRIKE] GF would put him up! - my heart bled). Was a very nerve wracking time but FANTASTIC when he finally moved out after I stood my ground.

chin up OP - that day will come.

wapow

Vertex or Vortex whatever,

Why has this gone on for four to five pages without you having done anything yet???

I get the feeling you just want to vent out about her but dont want her to leave.

Youre using the kids as an excuse and the rest of the world.

YOU are delaying the inevitable and the lady knows this and is playing to that tune.


YOUR LEGAL STANDPOINT

The house is now yours. The completion has taken place. You have no obligations to her and she does not to you. Your two obligations are to your own kids. You are not responsible for her and whether she can accomodate your kids.

You can call the police to vacate her from the premises. You can change the locks. You dont need to give a toss about what happens to her. She can go to the Advice Bureu and they can show her where and what benefits she can get etc until her house is complete and fit for 2 children.

Get off MSE, tell her if she does not move out within the hour youre calling the police.

Find the local police number which is non emergency. Tell them that you and your non maried partner went through a house completion and you both have your fair share but she wont move out of your house and require assistance before this turns into a forceful kick out.

Put your foot down and say you want her out end of. The cops will try to talk you into keeping her but just stick to your resolve and say no.

In the end her family will have to put her up. Im guessing they dont want to either.

YOU need to stop making excuses for her mate. Otherwise youre just chumping out and letting her get away with this which begs the question that are you separating to feed your ego and win a power struggle or do you genuinely want out of her life and a new one?

Your solicitor will tell you the same that she can be kicked out if need be.

I expect her out and you in peace by tomorrow mate.


You will note i have not called her evil or anything. That is because there are always 2 sides to a story. Maybe youre the pain in the ars+? Any old sap can fall for a sob story like some have done here. Im here to give you the facts, not a shoulder to cry on.

mgdavid

Vortex1 wrote: »

Her sister is lovely but clearly she is being feed a sob story from the ex even though I am sure her sister knows deep down what she is like. If it were just me I would have changed the locks the second the house completed but I need to consider the kids. I guess I am tired of being bullied.

then it's time to push back isn't it? but I feel you know that already.
'give an inch and they will take a mile...'

londonsurrey

Shelldean wrote: »

You can leave the property if your name is not on the title. However, you may have rights to the property.

She's already had the rights to the property - she's been bought out.

If she kicks off, I'd advise recording it. Just get one of those digital voice recorders for about £25+, and leave it on "detect". That means that they only start recording when there's noise, and then turn off again.

You do get a lot of arbitrary noise, like doors closing, but they hold hours of recording, which is what you need.

Shelldean

Londonsurrey,

I see you've quoted part of my reply, so I can just say I have NO idea about occupation orders which is what my answer was about.

I googled and came across shelters website HERE

There is a relationship checker included on that page.
I entered the OP details as he as told them, and my comments were copied/pasted from Shelter.

So Shelter is saying even though she has sold to OP, she may still have some rights to occupy the house, under an occupation order.

I totally agree this is wrong BTW

Vortex1

Guys I understand what many of you are saying. You make it all sound easy which I suppose technically it is but I am genuinely only concerned about the impact on my children. I can hand on heart say I have no interest in her remaining in the house or my life for that matter.

Wapaw, sorry if I came across as venting, maybe I am but that was never the intention.

Mojisola

Vortex1 wrote: »

Guys I understand what many of you are saying. You make it all sound easy which I suppose technically it is but I am genuinely only concerned about the impact on my children. I can hand on heart say I have no interest in her remaining in the house or my life for that matter.

It's only "easy" regarding the practical stuff. I doubt it will be easy emotionally and you're the one who will be coping with the fall-out and that's likely to be tough!

The only problem is that the more you give in to her, the more she will control you. You will have to stand your ground at some point.

That's why it's usually helpful to get to know others who have been down the same route. The fathers' support groups websites are worth joining.

Lilith1980

Hi Vortex,

Not sure if my reply will help because I don't know about the legal side of things.

My partner was married to his ex-wife for 28 years. She wore him down constantly, nothing was ever good enough, she was always wanting him to be someone he wasn't. He walked out in the end...

When he finally walked out, his sons were 18 and 20. His 18 year old had actually been surprised that his Dad had stuck it out for so long. The 20 year old, however, was fed a lot of stuff about his Dad by the Mum and no longer speaks to his Dad, which is sad but I actually also think he is now realising what a nightmare his Mum is too!

I guess the point I am trying to make is that your children will make up their own minds, when they are old enough, about what has happened. I realise that you are trying to minimise any distress and I think your children will pick up on that, but also agree with others - if your partner is not entitled to live in your house any more then I think giving her a deadline is fair. But you have to stick to it.

When the deadline comes, help her move out if you have to, but you need to stick to your guns otherwise she will drag this out longer and longer. There may be delays with getting the house renovated, what then? You don't want to be in this position in 6 month's time and I suspect (given your description of her) that she will manipulate this situation for as long as SHE needs.

Good luck with it.