Not 'doing' Santa

System

Lying really? Seems a strong word. My parents "lied" to me about FC but i have nothing but happy memories of christmas mornings, and the the wonder of going to bed thinking FC was going to visit, then running to wake up my parents and them coming downstairs with us and watching us open our pressies. My siblings are quite a bit younger than me so even after i realised he wasn't real i still carried on pretending he was so my siblings could have the same fun experiences i did as a child. Did i feel lied to and betrayed? Don't be stupid...it was a really nice idea and it gave christmas that magical edge it now lacks as an adult.

If i have kids i shall "lie" to them and let them believe, and hopefully create wonderful memories of my own.

Person_one

skintchick wrote: »

You don;t have to lie to pretend play and make believe, we covered that earlier in the thread.

I've read the thread, thanks.

What about my actual question? It was "Isn't it better to look at risk/benefit rather than be dogmatic about never lying at all in any way?"

Asking a poster a question about their stance that they have doggedly defended is not 'targeting' them.

thunderbird

arbroath_lass wrote: »

Is this a regional thing because I never heard of Father Christmas as a child, it was always Santa Clause. And I definitely believed in him.

We always wrote letters to Santa (they went up the chimney) and whilst I agree there were no grottos he always visited children's Christmas parties (nursery, Brownies, Girls Brigade etc).

This was the 70s too.

could be. from what I understand the British name was Father Christmas but the name Santa came from USA and spread.

I don't remember any parties except the end of term one at school (and he wasn't there). I grew up in a village, didn't go to a nursery. All these parties I missed out on!!!

thegirlintheattic

It's got nothing to do with religion really, many non-religious and other religions do 'Christmas' and Santa. I think it is a real shame not to do Santa. You can always tell her that Santa can only bring one, small gift as he has so many children to buy for.

I'm usually a very open person with Children but even I pretend Santa exists until a child tells me otherwise because I wouldn't want to ruin the magic.

As for the person who said all lying is wrong - are you never going to tell your child that an injection won't hurt to comfort them? are you going to say how awful they look when they try on the latest trend as a teenager? are you going to say their reception class drawing is crap, when they think it is a work of art?

Janepig

skintchick wrote: »

This is another reason I don't like FC. I don't parent my child using threats, I use positive parenting techniques instead.

I have to be honest, it's stuff like this that gets my back up. The inference that someone who says "brush your teeth because Father Christmas will know", etc.... is somehow a crap parent for doing so. Being a parent is a constant guilt trip as it is, without someone coming along going <adopt snooty tone of voice here> "oh I use positive parenting techniques". Truly I don't want to be nasty because I like your posts Skintchick, even though I don't always agree with them, but seriously, and in the nicest possible way, you and anyone else who would come out with a statement like this really needs to get over themselves.

I knew I shouldn't have stuck my head over this particular parapet.

Jx

Janepig

thegirlintheattic wrote: »

are you going to say their reception class drawing is crap, when they think it is a work of art?

:rotfl::rotfl: Good call. Going to look forward to hearing the non-lying PC way around that one. Or what I've got to look forward to tomorrow is the infants Christmas concert, in a language I struggle to understand (Welsh), which I'm sure I will tell DS was the most wonderful thing I've ever seen . Also, DD regaled me with the songs she's been learning for next week's carol concert earlier - I would like to be advised how to broach the subject of her tuneless singing with her!! :rotfl::rotfl:

I used to [STRIKE]play[/STRIKE] scratch the violin between the ages of about 8 and 14 and was in the town orchestra and the school orchestra. My parents used to dutifully come along to all the concerts and I always thought we were pretty good and that my parents enjoyed. It was only when I was much much older that my mother told me the truth!! How glad I am that she didn't tell me what a load of old $hite we were when I was about 9.

Jx

Spirit_2

notanewuser wrote: »

Inspired by another thread........

DD turned 2 in October. DH and I don't intend to ever do the Santa thing with her. We are atheists and intend to handle it in the same was as religion, i.e. it's something others believe, which is fine. If Granny or Grandad want to take her to see Santa then that's okay, as it would be if they wanted to take her to church (as a one off).

We hate the materialism that Santa seems to being to proceedings, and the thought that lying to DD is in any way 'magic'. Xmas for us is a winter festival and time for spending together, not splashing the cash.

We know others that have taken the same approach, and their children have grown up without serious psychological damage. :rotfl:


QUOTE]

Cripes. Your little one is 2. They won't know what day of the week it is, so you can tell them what ever you like and celebrate however you wish.

It may not be intended that way but to me your post sounds too sanctimonious, joyless and in pursuit of being bl**dy boring .

My athiest 24 year old has sent 'Santa' a list again this year. She also wants to go to the nativity service at the local church on Christmas eve - it is where we meet our fellow villagers and chat and swap cards, singing carols is fun and the little children very sweet - it is a happy occassion and not compromised for her or others by her lack of belief

Person_one

Eton_Rifle wrote: »

Even the pies are lies.

There isn't even any mince in them, its fruit. :mad:

System

Person_one wrote: »

There isn't even any mince in them, its fruit. :mad:

Is it bad it took me 26 years to realise that?

skintchick

cbrown372 wrote: »

but its okay for you to target a poster?

I was answering a question that targeted me. I thought it would be rude not to answer.