Not 'doing' Santa

Janepig

skintchick wrote: »

I meant it as a statement of fact because that is what it is called - positive parenting. Like there's stuff called attachment parenting (which I also do) and there is mainstream parenting (which most of you and the rest of the country do).

If people choose to use threats and reward charts and all of that then it is up to them, but it's not a technique I agree with and I don;t do it myself, which is all I was saying.

I don;t really understand why people are so defensive of FC that they will start personal attacks on people who do things differently to them.

I'm used to it because I don;t do mainstream parenting, never have, but I find it odd that people feel so vehemently, dare I say violently, about Father Christmas that they will, apparently, defend him to the death!

IMO SC, there's no such thing as any of the types of "parenting" you mention, as parents we make choices and decisions with regard to our children and to pigeonhole and label them as types of "parenting" is wrong. I'm sure there are decisions you make in respect of your DD that are the same as I would make, others we would differ in, and all we can do is hope for the best that the decisions we make don't screw our kids up in the long run. But they will, because that's what parents do :D. But don't label me as a "mainstream parent" because I do what I feel is right for me and for my children, not because it's "mainstream".

I also hope you don't think I'm personally attacking you for having a different point of view on Father Christmas because I'm not. Far from it. I have a different opinion to you and that's all it is. It's a free country and what you chose to do with your DD is up to you, the same as it's up to me what I do with DD/DS.

I hope you're feeling better soon anyway, and I hope you don't have a relapse from reading this thread!! <joke>

Jx

sassyblue

I'm glad my parents let me believe in the magic of Father Christmas.

Life can be rubbish as you grow up and realise how cruel people can be and how unfair life is, let them have some magic fgs.

Janepig

alias*alibi wrote: »

I use all sorts of blackmail on my DD to get her to conform to my way of thinking because 'Santa knows everything you do'... Do I feel guilty? Hell no if it gets me the result I want! :rotfl:

*ducks for cover*

I've used the Father Christmas "threat" on DS tonight, not that he'll take a blind bit of notice. Don't think I ever used it on DD, never had to, but DS, well I wouldn't be surprised if he gets up on Christmas morning to a stocking full of coal!!

Jx

Torry_Quine

I think it's sad that something as simple and lovely as Santa is being used as a reason for some on here to disagree on parenting methods. It is up to individual parents what they decide and it will have little if any effect on how the child grows up.

skintchick

Torry_Quine wrote: »

I think it's sad that something as simple and lovely as Santa is being used as a reason for some on here to disagree on parenting methods. It is up to individual parents what they decide and it will have little if any effect on how the child grows up.

I think it's sad that something as allegedly simple andlovely as Santa is being used as a threat to fighten children into doing what they are told.

I said what I did because someone brought up the threat thing as being one of the reasons they do FC, and as it is one of the reasons I do not do FC, I thought it was a point relevant to the thread.

Janepig, you might not like parenting styles being named like that, but they are, and the names usually indicate a broad style of parenting. Of course, people don't necessarily do everything that one style stands for (I'm a crunchy but I didn't cloth-nappy in the end), but generally we all do fall into one camp or another.

They are just different from each other, not meant to be divisive, but sometimes it's useful to understand where someone is on the spectrum, so to speak.

Anyhoo, this thread seems to have a habit of going off-topic. Sorry if I contributed to that.

bylromarha

Whole thread too long to read, but make sure OP you also emphasize that their friends MAY believe in FC, so encourage your child to talk about their FC thoughts with their friends if asked rather than loudly announce he isn't real.

FWIW we played along with FC when the kids spoke about it. We took them to Grottos if they asked. They worked it out last Cmas. We didn't discourage, didn't encourage, merely let them think what they wanted and encouraged them to think about WHY they thought what they thought and helped them come to their own decisions at their own level and their thoughts and reasoning changed as they aged.

Torry_Quine

skintchick wrote: »

I think it's sad that something as allegedly simple andlovely as Santa is being used as a threat to fighten children into doing what they are told.

I said what I did because someone brought up the threat thing as being one of the reasons they do FC, and as it is one of the reasons I do not do FC, I thought it was a point relevant to the thread.

Janepig, you might not like parenting styles being named like that, but they are, and the names usually indicate a broad style of parenting. Of course, people don't necessarily do everything that one style stands for (I'm a crunchy but I didn't cloth-nappy in the end), but generally we all do fall into one camp or another.

They are just different from each other, not meant to be divisive, but sometimes it's useful to understand where someone is on the spectrum, so to speak.

Anyhoo, this thread seems to have a habit of going off-topic. Sorry if I contributed to that.

It wasn't aimed at any one person in particular actually. If you didn't want yur children to believe in Santa that's fine but the 'threat' as you call it is to the vast majority part of the whole magic.

shegirl

skintchick wrote: »

I think it's sad that something as allegedly simple andlovely as Santa is being used as a threat to fighten children into doing what they are told.

I said what I did because someone brought up the threat thing as being one of the reasons they do FC, and as it is one of the reasons I do not do FC, I thought it was a point relevant to the thread.

Janepig, you might not like parenting styles being named like that, but they are, and the names usually indicate a broad style of parenting. Of course, people don't necessarily do everything that one style stands for (I'm a crunchy but I didn't cloth-nappy in the end), but generally we all do fall into one camp or another.

They are just different from each other, not meant to be divisive, but sometimes it's useful to understand where someone is on the spectrum, so to speak.

Anyhoo, this thread seems to have a habit of going off-topic. Sorry if I contributed to that.

Using Santa 'as a threat' doesn't frighten children. Whenever I've witnessed it the kids have been excitedly well behaved, not scared:rotfl:


It's amazing how some people think...the santa threat frightens kids (I can kinda understand how that would be seen), it's all awful as kids will think they were naughty if somebody else gets a more expensive present than them etc etc

See, this is why Santa is so great. Kids are innocent beings who love wonder and magic. It's the bloomin adults that make everything so serious and over think every little thing, spoiling it.

skintchick

No I meant the threat parents make of 'if you don;t do xyz thing i want you to do right now, FC won;t bring you any presents'.

That's what I don't like.

But yeah, the whole gotta be good all year thing sucks as well.

Torry_Quine

skintchick wrote: »

No I meant the threat parents make of 'if you don;t do xyz thing i want you to do right now, FC won;t bring you any presents'.

That's what I don't like.

But yeah, the whole gotta be good all year thing sucks as well.

That 'threat' is what I'm talking about too.