Not 'doing' Santa

shegirl

Oh stuff it, bah humbug to all the miserable gits who insist on depriving their children of something so magical because they refuse to 'lie' but can tell other bull crap.

thegirlintheattic

xXMessedUpXx wrote: »

Is it bad it took me 26 years to realise that?

Took me 21 years. Used to actually retch when my parent's tried to feed me them. I think it was how the mincemeat looked in the jar that put me off. Love them now.

Janepig

I still can't eat mince pies. Ewwww. Or Christmas pudding. Or Christmas cake. Yuk. Luckily DD and DS love them so DH has two little people to share his love of them with.

Jx

emsywoo123

Eton_Rifle wrote: »

Even the pies are lies.

:rotfl: Brilliant

System

thegirlintheattic wrote: »

Took me 21 years. Used to actually retch when my parent's tried to feed me them. I think it was how the mincemeat looked in the jar that put me off. Love them now.

I might push the boat out and try one this xmas :eek:

Tish_P

I never believed in Santa. I remember when well-meaning grown-ups would expect me to, but I never came out as an a-Santa-ist, so to speak, because *I* didn't want to disillusion *them.*

And I don't think I was tragically deprived or that I missed out on a pivotal joy of childhood or any such overdramatic tosh. Christmas (or the winter festival of your choosing) is great when you're a kid whatever stories or beliefs your family or culture weave around it.

skintchick

Person_one wrote: »

I've read the thread, thanks.

What about my actual question? It was "Isn't it better to look at risk/benefit rather than be dogmatic about never lying at all in any way?"

Asking a poster a question about their stance that they have doggedly defended is not 'targeting' them.

I wasn;t specifically referring to you in that comment about targeting, I was referring to a post made by someone else, about someone else.

Interesting that you thought it meant you.


OK, here's my answer: no.

I don;t lie, I don't believe in it. There is always a way of answering questions truthfully without being hurtful.

thegirlintheattic wrote: »

As for the person who said all lying is wrong - are you never going to tell your child that an injection won't hurt to comfort them? are you going to say how awful they look when they try on the latest trend as a teenager? are you going to say their reception class drawing is crap, when they think it is a work of art?

When my DD has injections I tell her the truth - this will hurt a little bit, it will feel sharp, but it won;t last for long and will soon be over.

You don;t have to comment on the other stuff as an opinion. I look at her drawings and instead of a blanket it's lovely, I try and notice something specific about it, such as 'you used lots of colours' or 'I can see you spent a long time on that' so that I am valuing her creativity and effort rather than just saying 'it's lovely' which is rather vague.

I would do the same with clothes. In fact I do now as she chooses her own - 'I see you chose to have a stripy theme today' was one I used this week when she wore a black and white striped dress, blue and white stiped top underneath, and stripy leggings, all of which colour-clashed. She loved her look. So I commented specifically on an aspect of it rather than give an opinion. SHe didn;t want my opinion. She loved her outfit.

Janepig wrote: »

I have to be honest, it's stuff like this that gets my back up. The inference that someone who says "brush your teeth because Father Christmas will know", etc.... is somehow a crap parent for doing so. Being a parent is a constant guilt trip as it is, without someone coming along going <adopt snooty tone of voice here> "oh I use positive parenting techniques". Truly I don't want to be nasty because I like your posts Skintchick, even though I don't always agree with them, but seriously, and in the nicest possible way, you and anyone else who would come out with a statement like this really needs to get over themselves.

I knew I shouldn't have stuck my head over this particular parapet.

Jx

I'm not saying anyone else is a crap parent. I haven;t said that and I am not saying it. If people read it as that then I phrased it badly and I'm sorry.

If it's any excuse I'm very tired, I'm on bedrest recovering from a major operation which ended up with some complications on the ward, and I'm on here to allieviate my boredom but quite possibly am too tired at this end of the day, not to mention dosed up on many meds. I just thought the topic was interesting and posted on it earlier today, and now feel I'm the only on on here offering the alternative viewpoint.

I meant it as a statement of fact because that is what it is called - positive parenting. Like there's stuff called attachment parenting (which I also do) and there is mainstream parenting (which most of you and the rest of the country do).

If people choose to use threats and reward charts and all of that then it is up to them, but it's not a technique I agree with and I don;t do it myself, which is all I was saying.

I don;t really understand why people are so defensive of FC that they will start personal attacks on people who do things differently to them.

I'm used to it because I don;t do mainstream parenting, never have, but I find it odd that people feel so vehemently, dare I say violently, about Father Christmas that they will, apparently, defend him to the death!

alias*alibi

Janepig wrote: »

I have to be honest, it's stuff like this that gets my back up. The inference that someone who says "brush your teeth because Father Christmas will know", etc.... is somehow a crap parent for doing so. Being a parent is a constant guilt trip as it is, without someone coming along going <adopt snooty tone of voice here> "oh I use positive parenting techniques". Truly I don't want to be nasty because I like your posts Skintchick, even though I don't always agree with them, but seriously, and in the nicest possible way, you and anyone else who would come out with a statement like this really needs to get over themselves.

I knew I shouldn't have stuck my head over this particular parapet.

Jx

I use all sorts of blackmail on my DD to get her to conform to my way of thinking because 'Santa knows everything you do'... Do I feel guilty? Hell no if it gets me the result I want! :rotfl:

*ducks for cover*

Gloomendoom

xXMessedUpXx wrote: »

Is it bad it took me 26 years to realise that?

Some of them have suet in them, as a Hindu friend discovered after stuffing his face with about a dozen of the things at a Christmas do.

bagpuss38

Eton_Rifle wrote: »

Even the pies are lies.

looooool!

:T