Not 'doing' Santa

neneromanova

OP, Can I just ask if you were brought up believing in Santa?

skintchick

neneromanova wrote: »

OP, Can I just ask if you were brought up believing in Santa?

I'm not the OP, but as I share the OP's view I'll answer: yes I was.

jellyhead

ciderwithrosie wrote: »

I am usually very honest and open with my boys and lying didn't sit too comfortably. The Tooth Fairy didn't happen at all! I admire those that have chosen not to perpetuate this for not bowing to social pressure.

My eldest didn't have the tooth fairy. Iirc he never told the other children it wasn't true because I'd taught him to respect the beliefs of others. There were always lots of JW children at the school anyway - I should think that most schools have JW children who don't celebrate christmas?

Janepig

I'm struggling with the concept of Father Christmas/Tooth Fairy/Easter Bunny, whatever, being described as "lying". Lying, to me, indicates you're doing a bad thing, and whilst I have no problem with anyone believing/not believing whatever they like, I don't think I should be accused of lying to my children just because I'm happy to let them believe that Father Christmas (or Sion Corn as we have in Wales if you speak welsh ) brings their gifts at Christmas (even though Mami and Dadi pay for it!). And whilst, as I say, I have no issue with people doing what they like, I'm struggling a bit with not wanting to "do Father Christmas/Santa" just because you don't want to lie. I've not read anything yet that makes me understand that point of view. But I accept that people have that point of view.

Skinty, you made a point (I didn't want to quote the whole of your first post ) that you felt that having a religious belief (ie Allah I think you said) was more acceptable to pass on to your kids because you believe it yourself. IMO I think that's worse. But hey, differences of opinion, it's what makes the world go round. Well that and some scientific stuff I don't understand :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Jx

thunderbird

Sorry, haven't read the whole thread - but the posts I saw seemed to imply that if you grew up in the UK then Santa (never heard of that name as a child it was Father Christmas!) was a big part of your life.

I must say that I cannot actually remember believing in him - although I probably did when very small. It always seemed like something make believe in a cartoon to me. I do not remember going to see him in a grotto - they are everywhere these days but weren't back then (70s). I don't remember writing him a letter or leaving food out for him.

Regardless I still loved Christmas and have very happy memories of family time together, having special treats to eat, playing silly games, staying up late watching telly. You don't have to have Santa to have a happy Christmas.

skintchick

Dictionary definition of lie:



lie noun

/laɪ/ n [C]

Definition

something that you say which you know is not true

lie verb ( SPEAK FALSELY )

/laɪ/ v

Definition

(lying, lied, lied) to say or write something which is not true in order to deceive someone



Janepig, it definitely is lying. Telling a lie is saying something that is not true, it doesn't matter if it is for what you perceive to be a good reason, it is still a lie.

That's why I made the distinction with religion, because if someone who believes in Allah tells their child about Allah, they are not in thier opinion saying something untrue, nor are they saying it with the intention to deceive, but if you don't believe in FC (and you don't!) then telling your child about it is a lie, because you are intending to deceive them, albeit with the good intentions of magic, joy, etc that everyone keeps talking about.

Janepig

skintchick wrote: »

Dictionary definition of lie:



lie noun

/laɪ/ n [C]

Definition

something that you say which you know is not true

lie verb ( SPEAK FALSELY )

/laɪ/ v

Definition

(lying, lied, lied) to say or write something which is not true in order to deceive someone



Janepig, it definitely is lying. Telling a lie is saying something that is not true, it doesn't matter if it is for what you perceive to be a good reason, it is still a lie.

That's why I made the distinction with religion, because if someone who believes in Allah tells their child about Allah, they are not in thier opinion saying something untrue, nor are they saying it with the intention to deceive, but if you don't believe in FC (and you don't!) then telling your child about it is a lie, because you are intending to deceive them, albeit with the good intentions of magic, joy, etc that everyone keeps talking about.

My intention is not to deceive though. And at best it's fibbing. Not lying. And even if you want to call it lying, I still think it's better than filling the child's head about a load of mumbo jumbo religious nonsense and all the intolerance and ignorance that goes with that. In my opinion. :D

Jx

ziggy2004

Person_one wrote: »

After 10 pages, I can't see a single way in which a belief in Father Christmas in early childhood can cause problems for or harm to a child, and quite a few ways in which a parent insisting on telling them the truth could cause them issues.

If it was possible to bring up children in a Santa-less world, I could understand the desire not to 'lie' to them a bit more, but we don't, and you have to live in the world as it is sometimes.

See for us Santa is just a non issue as we do not do it. Maybe because we have the alternative it has been easier but we honestly have not had any issues with friends because of it and my eldest is of a non believing age.

The closest we have come was when one of them asked whether he would get presents from santa like xxx when he was 4 and I simply said he would get presents to celebrate st nicholas and would also get presents from gran at christmas when xxx got his santa presents. He was happy because he got presents twice and as I actually went into the school to talk about the st nicholas festival and read a story everyone was happy.

Just not doing something does not have to mean you set your children up to ruin it for others and we have been mindful not to do that.

I do not believe doing santa does any harm but then I also do not believe that telling children that carrots improve your eye sight does any harm yet I do not tell them that either Just because something does no harm does not mean we should all do it.

( we also do not do the tooth fairy or the easter bunny yet they still get a coin for a tooth and a chocolate easter egg )

arbroath_lass

thunderbird wrote: »

Sorry, haven't read the whole thread - but the posts I saw seemed to imply that if you grew up in the UK then Santa (never heard of that name as a child it was Father Christmas!) was a big part of your life.

I must say that I cannot actually remember believing in him - although I probably did when very small. It always seemed like something make believe in a cartoon to me. I do not remember going to see him in a grotto - they are everywhere these days but weren't back then (70s). I don't remember writing him a letter or leaving food out for him.

Is this a regional thing because I never heard of Father Christmas as a child, it was always Santa Clause. And I definitely believed in him.

We always wrote letters to Santa (they went up the chimney) and whilst I agree there were no grottos he always visited children's Christmas parties (nursery, Brownies, Girls Brigade etc).

This was the 70s too.

Carl31

Its probably worth pointing out that the only religious part about Christmas is the name, trees, present giving, feasts and Father Christmas all come from other parts of history, mostly pre dating the bible. The whole bible bit was added by the romans. I think in fact Jesus real birthday is earlier in the year.