Not 'doing' Santa

seashore22

We also didn't "do" Father Christmas. Or the Tooth Fairy.

They still had presents under the tree and money under their pillow. We just didn't tell them that it came from some made up character. As young parents we were very ernest and didn't want to lie to our children. We didn't get all evangelical about it and certainly never told them that he didn't exist until they asked.

The only problem that I remember was worrying about them telling their friends that he didn't exist.

Still not sure whether we did the right thing, but I will ask the youngest when she gets home. Both are adults now by the way.

stargazer59

skintchick wrote: »

In which case the other children and more pertinently their parents need to get over it and stop boycotting this 'dear little thing' because she told an uncomfortable (for some) truth.

Not sure why you put dear little thing in quotes but anyway, the parents i am sure have long got over it, and i don't believe anyone is boycotting the child.

It just happens that in schools at this time of year the children are all talking about Father Christmas, they have parties where Father Christmas comes to bring them presents, they make Santas out of crepe paper and loo rolls. She is surrounded by references to something which her parents say is not real. If she says it is not real, she upsets the other children, and so it continues.

Spendless

Mine were told we paid the bill for presents delivered by Santa. That way we never had an issue if one year we were skint.

My sister told her twins -who are close in my age to my two, that she bought them sent them on and santa delivered. That wouldn't have worked at my house as son is too logical- he would have asked what was the point in the middle man?

I thought he realised when he was 7/8 at Junior school, but now he's almost 13 he says he didn't believe from an early age. This ties in with my recollection that when he was 3 or 4 he told me that he didn't believe in flying reindeer as he'd watched an episode of Discovery Kids and learnt that animals need to have wings to fly. He said he went along with the pretence in case he didn't get any presents, but I wouldn't have said that anyway. He still went to bed pretty good for years following Norad.

That's what I'd say is the difference between having one who belives in Santa and one that doesn't. The believer disappears to bed once you see the figure heading to the UK, the non-believer pesters you to stay up and help up put out presents in the hope they can unwrap them very early.

skintchick

stargazer59 wrote: »

Not sure why you put dear little thing in quotes but anyway, the parents i am sure have long got over it, and i don't believe anyone is boycotting the child.

It just happens that in schools at this time of year the children are all talking about Father Christmas, they have parties where Father Christmas comes to bring them presents, they make Santas out of crepe paper and loo rolls. She is surrounded by references to something which her parents say is not real. If she says it is not real, she upsets the other children, and so it continues.

I put it in quotes because it is a quote of your words.

So why isn;t anyone friends with her then? If the parents have 'got over it' (quotes because i'm quoting) then is her lack of friends down to the fact that none of the children have, or is it in fact something else entirely?

And to answer the other bit. Just because society colludes to lie to children, and even schools get involved with that lie, does not mean that I have to.

I refer you back to my previous answer for the bit about upsetting other children; I think I've adequately covered my opinion on that one.

stargazer59

broace wrote: »

Which is how the world works, everyone has different opinions .

Should a Sikh pupil have to convert to Atheism simply because of the majority of their classmates are... no but your argument is that they should just because atheism is the norm in that situation.

It may well be the way the world works, but not usually a small childs world, i was just pointing out that a 4-5 year old child has been isolated because of this.

I don't believe religion is in the same context.

skintchick

seashore22 wrote: »

We also didn't "do" Father Christmas. Or the Tooth Fairy.

They still had presents under the tree and money under their pillow. We just didn't tell them that it came from some made up character. As young parents we were very ernest and didn't want to lie to our children. We didn't get all evangelical about it and certainly never told them that he didn't exist until they asked.

The only problem that I remember was worrying about them telling their friends that he didn't exist.

Still not sure whether we did the right thing, but I will ask the youngest when she gets home. Both are adults now by the way.

I'd be very interested in knowing what they think and how they felt when they were younger.

Did they ever tell their friends do you know? If so, what was the reaction/fallout?

And do they feel that you ruined the magic of Christmas? *tongue slightly in cheek*

skintchick

stargazer59 wrote: »

It may well be the way the world works, but not usually a small childs world, i was just pointing out that a 4-5 year old child has been isolated because of this.

I don't believe religion is in the same context.

But is it because of that?

Because you just said that the parents have all 'got over it'.

So are the children isolating her because of that one incident? Or have there been other things that have led to her being unpopular of which that is only one?

stargazer59

skintchick wrote: »

I put it in quotes because it is a quote of your words.

So why isn;t anyone friends with her then? If the parents have 'got over it' (quotes because i'm quoting) then is her lack of friends down to the fact that none of the children have, or is it in fact something else entirely?

And to answer the other bit. Just because society colludes to lie to children, and even schools get involved with that lie, does not mean that I have to.

I refer you back to my previous answer for the bit about upsetting other children; I think I've adequately covered my opinion on that one.

I can only assume that the parents are over it, most adults do get over things until they happen again! As for why she has few friends, it may well be that the children are upset at having the magic of Father Christmas ruined for them, i do not know. I do know that she is not a nasty child though.

stargazer59

skintchick wrote: »

But is it because of that?

Because you just said that the parents have all 'got over it'.

So are the children isolating her because of that one incident? Or have there been other things that have led to her being unpopular of which that is only one?

I think maybe me using the word isolating was inappropriate.

She just seems to still have very few friends.

I am not sure what your point is about the parents? Parents do not tend to choose their kids friends do they?

I am sorry if you are offended by what i said, i just wanted to point out this situation as a warning that is all

Welshwoofs

pulliptears wrote: »

Yes, a pivotal part of childhood, especially in the UK. Ask your average adult if they could imagine a childhood without the magic of Christmas. A Christmas Eve without lying in bed convinced they could here sleigh bells.

Sorry, going to have to disagree with you here.

I never believed in Father Christmas. Nobody told me he wasn't real, I just knew that it was completely impossible for some old bloke to go zooming round the world on a flying sledge delivering presents. I didn't believe in the Tooth Fairy either, but still liked finding that a coin had replaced a tooth.

You don't have to believe in something to find it magical. I found The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe magical when I read it as a kid....but I certainly didn't believe that there was actually talking lions and wardrobes with hidden worlds behind them. I knew it was 'make believe'.

When I was kid, what I found magical about Christmas was decorating the house, having special food and having lots of adults around who were happy to play board games and who generally seemed more carefree than at other times of year.