What age do you stop....................

Rossy2692

hieveryone wrote: »

That makes me a bit sad, as I'm an only child too and I would hate my mum to feel like this, although I suspect she does a little.

Nooo please dont misunderstand me, i love buying for my DD, i would spoil her rotten even though she is 20!! I was just putting it out there to see if there were people like me who STILL wish i could do it but maybe am thinking she is at an age where maybe i could cut right back

Skint_yet_Again

Rossy2692 wrote: »

DD is 20 now, only child, just feel pressured to buy i think,......

offered to pay for MOT and repairs that need doing but she said she would rather pay for that herself and have stuff to open christmas day, really dont know why this expectation has continued

Am by no means loaded with cash, self employed white van woman with hubs on sick from work after heart attack at 44 so just sometime wonder...........

Rossy, sorry dont take this the wrong way but I think unfortunately it sounds like you set yourself up to buy for her. You offered to pay for MOT and repairs which are not cheap. I can understand your DD asking for presents instead as you have offered the money iyswim.
Perhaps if you had explained that money was tight this year she may not have had the expectation of gifts

elsien wrote: »

On the grounds that mother (73) throws a strop if she doesn't get a santas sack full of prezzies, I'm assuming I get the equivalent for as long as she does. Otherwise I shall also be stropping all over the place. Whoever said Christmas was for kids was labouring under a misapprehension.

:rotfl::rotfl:

Skint_yet_Again

Rossy2692 wrote: »

Nooo please dont misunderstand me, i love buying for my DD, i would spoil her rotten even though she is 20!! I was just putting it out there to see if there were people like me who STILL wish i could do it but maybe am thinking she is at an age where maybe i could cut right back

Sorry misunderstood and cross posted

Rossy2692

Macca83 wrote: »

You can spend £300 and have a sofa full of presents or you could spend £50 and still have a sofa full of presents. Is it the amount you're spending that's worrying you or that you think your child is too old for lots of presents?

I suppose its the fact that for example her tv is broken in her room so we offered to replace that for christmas and she said no, her car failed MOT so we offered to pay for repairs but she said no, even though her bf told her he thought this was a great offer for a christmas present, bless him. :rotfl:I suppose its the fact that i KNOW she doesnt like cheap, she doesnt buy it for herself so i know this wouldnt be appreciated, dont get me wrong she is a great daughter and now i am thinking it could just be my insecurities about christmas...............oh dear..:o

Rossy2692

Skint_yet_Again wrote: »

Rossy, sorry dont take this the wrong way but I think unfortunately it sounds like you set yourself up to buy for her. You offered to pay for MOT and repairs which are not cheap. I can understand your DD asking for presents instead as you have offered the money iyswim.
Perhaps if you had explained that money was tight this year she may not have had the expectation of gifts



:rotfl::rotfl:

Hmmmm maybe you are right after thinking and reading through......:o

Macca83_2

Rossy2692 wrote: »

I suppose its the fact that for example her tv is broken in her room so we offered to replace that for christmas and she said no, her car failed MOT so we offered to pay for repairs but she said no, even though her bf told her he thought this was a great offer for a christmas present, bless him. :rotfl:I suppose its the fact that i KNOW she doesnt like cheap, she doesnt buy it for herself so i know this wouldnt be appreciated, dont get me wrong she is a great daughter and now i am thinking it could just be my insecurities about christmas...............oh dear..:o

Any chance she's said no because she doesn't want you to feel pressured into paying for costly repairs?

blossomhill_2

Popperwell wrote: »

Never give up your giving and time spent with loved ones if you have any

Totally agree, sick of hearing people moaning about having too many presents to buy, or too many to cook for, they should be careful what they wish for

OP glad to hear you still want to do it, I find I don't have to spend a lot, and can target things that DD would otherwise have to buy herself (like favourite brand shampoo, not overpriced only-sold-at-Christmas smellies, or a magazine that she would consider a luxury), and some homemade gifts, it's just fun to still have things to open and a couple of silly cheapy things to enjoy too

DianneB

We stopped buying large presents for our 4 boys once they set up their own homes/earned more than us/had children!!! this has worked out well, we now do a secret santa for us all and spend about £20 -£25 on each of the grandchildren buying well in the sales. Youngest DD still lives at home and will get a big present and a stocking. I really hate buying tat that no-one will use!!

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

I sent DD1 some advent calendars at University.


She (and her friends) were delighted, as they were all a bit sad that they weren't going to have one this year.


I can't buy her as much this year, but she felt really guilty last one when I spent about £200 on her (matching DD2). So I'm going to buy about 3 or 4 things this time and leave it at that.

bossymoo

We don't buy for the adults, other than a token gift from the kiddies for their grandparents, and usually is something edible plus an up to date photo.
My mum does buy for me, again one gift, often something I mention, and usually something useful. My dad I tell not to, as it would probably be a tin of biccies and he just gives me money for all his grand kids for xmas and birthday for the year, and I have to divvy it all up
My inlaws usually get me something too. Which all depends what bargains MIL has been finding. I used to get a bit irritated, but since my dh died last year, I figure she's just trying to spread / feel a little happiness.

She will probably have got loads for the kiddies too. That would have been annoying in the past, but given what's happened, I figure worse things have happened at sea than them getting a bit spoilt.

As long as we are all together, we'll muddle through. And we will be, spare beds at the ready!