What age do you stop....................

balletshoes

Rossy2692 wrote: »

DD is 20 now, only child, just feel pressured to buy i think, offered to pay for MOT and repairs that need doing but she said she would rather pay for that herself and have stuff to open christmas day, really dont know why this expectation has continued

Am by no means loaded with cash, self employed white van woman with hubs on sick from work after heart attack at 44 so just sometime wonder...........

you don't need to spend loads though - how much do you think the MOT and repairs would have cost instead? There are loads of sales on just now, and stuff on the Grabbit board etc. If she likes clothes, H&M and New Look have a load of stuff on 50% off or better.

My mum usually buys me my favourite chocolates, a book or a CD, something I know about and usually choose (ie a bag, pair of boots etc, no more than about £15) and a surprise. I'd be quite happy with just the bag or boots, but she likes surprising us and she won't listen to "just get for the grandkids" (we've been trying for years).

balletshoes

Rossy2692 wrote: »

WOW! Thanks everyone for your contributions!! You have opened my eyes! SO many different views!!! Love it!!! I think i will edge on the air of 'middling' try to buy things that i KNOW she needs or will find useful you are such a helpful bunch.......thanks

I think thats sensible, you said your daughter doesn't do cheap, so buy her tasteful stuff that she'll like, but don't go overboard on the amount, if quality is more important to her.

VestanPance

My parents stopped buying me anything other than a token present from the age of 16.

Probably due to that I've always been a bit shocked at the amount of adults I know with their Christmas lists for partners/parents!

lady1964

We probably spend a bit less now that our DD's are adults and one lives with her BF. We've probably spent around £200 each this year, which is a fair bit I know but they do a list each and we always get most, if not all, of what's on there or I listen carefully to hints or the odd 'oh, I'd really like that'.

We've always given them a 'main' present, which is generally the one they particularly want and then several less expensive ones. This year they've got 5/6 each and they still get a stocking too. The amount spent on stockings has probably increased as I've found the things I've bought have cost that bit more.

My parents & in-laws buy DH & me one gift each, with a cost limit and spend a bit more on our DD's, which is how it should be.

rachhh

I'm 20 and if anything I get more presents than when I was younger! Mainly due to my parents splitting up and the addition of my Dad's girlfriend and her family to the christmas day celebrations.
I'm very fortunate to have a very financially comfortable family all round, and we always have amazing Christmases, both present-wise and with regards to how we spend the festive period!
I can tell I'm getting old now though as my favourite part of Christmas is spoiling my family rotten, rather than opening my own presents! Ooooh, I'm getting all excited now!

System

If we're talking santa pressies it was 16 at home...

Though i have siblings who are 6,9 and 10 years younger so they were still getting them long after i'd stopped. I didn't mind though, i guess you have to draw the line somewhere! We still have main presents, though i asked for money this year as i need to save for somewhere to live next yeat. But..i am getting a new dressing gown so its all good.

Rossy2692

I think its my own fretting thats getting me in a panic, you always want to do good by your kids, kid in my case haha I know she will appreciate anything i get her and she is such a generous soul herself!

We always have a fab christmas, quality time is priceless

miss_independent

I'm 28, single and living at home (what a catch, eh?!) and my parents have always spent loads on me. Two years ago, out of the blue, my Dad spent about £1000 on me!!! I was so very grateful but also felt really guilty. This year, they have told me that we are cutting back and getting three things to open. I don't tend to ask for things though. Was never the kid with a list of exactly what I wanted, just one main pressie and the rest surprises. I have asked for a perfume that I like (after I was asked what I wanted) but there are lots of things I'd like but would never ask for. My mum tends to get me practical things, my dad gets more extravagant things.

Tbh, I think it's given me unrealistic expectations. My Dad has always lavished luxury gifts on my Mum and I and as a child I thought that's how all husbands are. However, I have never had a present off a man except for a second hand book once and I know a lot of couples don't get each other Christmas or Birthday presents at all or if they do, it's something like a new iron or drill! To me at first that seemed alien but I know that it's actually the other way round and most men aren't like my Dad and they don't "spoil" you. So at least now, I know how things work!

I'm saying all this but every since I was young, I spend at least £100 on my parents at Christmas time and Birthdays etc. So it's not that I'm a taker. If I could afford to spend £2000 each on them at Christmas I would but as it stands it's usually a full weeks wages I spend on them. They work very hard and they mean the world to me.

nearlyrich

I spend £50 to £100 on my now adult children (two of them) I ask them what they want and buy a few little stocking fillers they don't know about.

VestanPance

miss_independent wrote: »

Tbh, I think it's given me unrealistic expectations. My Dad has always lavished luxury gifts on my Mum and I and as a child I thought that's how all husbands are. However, I have never had a present off a man except for a second hand book once and I know a lot of couples don't get each other Christmas or Birthday presents at all or if they do, it's something like a new iron or drill! To me at first that seemed alien but I know that it's actually the other way round and most men aren't like my Dad and they don't "spoil" you. So at least now, I know how things work!

I think you just have to adjust to what each other is brought up to think is normal. For instance when I was a kid birthdays were never fussed over. You got a cake, no presents or cards and that was it. To me that was normal, so I it tool me some time to adjust to my ex and her family going mad over my birthday which they did for each other.

Plus the fancy gifts means nothing. I got cheated on and dumped having just booked a surprise New York trip Christmas present for my then wife, which was one of a long line of "fancy" birthday or Christmas treats I'd thought of getting her over the years. I was looking at romantic restaurants overlooking the Hudson, she was banging some bloke from her work. Merry Christmas!