Daughter Growing Up

skintchick

Wow. My DD is three and knows about periods. She sees me dealing with mine and we've talked about eggs and womb linings. She often asks me if I've got my 'pyramid'!

I don't understand how or why you'd hide it for years. DD often is in the toilet with me so she gets to see my period, towels and tampons and understands it as a normal function of women's bodies. Much healthier way of dealing with it IMO.

lostinrates

daisiegg wrote: »

I am an English teacher but currently teaching sex education in PSHEE to my form who are Year 9 (aged 13/14) and it is a real eye opener. While they do 'know' lots of eye watering stuff that I hadn't even heard of until I was in my twenties(!) I am shocked at the really simple stuff they DON'T know. I couldn't believe how many girls in the class didn't have a clue about simple female anatomy - they had no idea the urethra existed and thought that they urinated out of their vaginas.

They also had no clue what ovulation was (this came up when discussing different methods of contraception). Many of them had also obviously never been told that it is perfectly natural for women to have some discharge, because when that came up they were visibly relieved and I heard one say to another 'I'm so glad that's normal as I always thought there was something wrong with me'. Many of them even believed that being on the pill would protect you from STIs.

So parents/carers, please talk to your children about this sort of thing! A girl shouldn't have to go until she is 14 thinking that there is something wrong with her because no one has ever told her that discharge is natural. And, although we do not want to think of our 14 year olds having sex and I hope most of them don't....I think it is dangerous that they get to that age with such startling misconceptions as that the pill can stop you getting STIs. Very worrying...

Had they not covered this earlier in their education in science/biology? When I was at school it was in the year one was aged eleven and twelve, if anything with puberty being earlier for many girls I might have thought that the anatomy and mechanicals would be covered earlier as a science, and then, as you are doing, in a less science setting.

Has it really nopt been covered, or have they not taken it on board when they were taught it?

lostinrates

skintchick wrote: »

Wow. My DD is three and knows about periods. She sees me dealing with mine and we've talked about eggs and womb linings. She often asks me if I've got my 'pyramid'!

I don't understand how or why you'd hide it for years. DD often is in the toilet with me so she gets to see my period, towels and tampons and understands it as a normal function of women's bodies. Much healthier way of dealing with it IMO.

I was a late baby and my mother went pretty much straight from childbirth into menopause. Having babies later is increasingly commin and the opportunity to learn 'at your mother's knee' might be correspondingly lesser.

skintchick

lostinrates wrote: »

I was a late baby and my mother went pretty much straight from childbirth into menopause. Having babies later is increasingly commin and the opportunity to learn 'at your mother's knee' might be correspondingly lesser.

How late are we talking though? Quite a few of my friends have had babies after 40 but none of them are menopausal or even peri-menopausal.

I think the majority of mums will still be having periods.

And even so, I think it's important to have covered this kind of thing much earlier. If a mum doesn't have periods then she will have a friend who does, often we hear people talk about coming on, or having PMT, and those are all good starters for a quick mention of periods.

With DD, I've always let her ask questions and then I amswer as simply as I can get away with! Some of the stuff she asks is incredibly advanced, but I just answer factually.

Maybe if more people did this then we wouldn;t have teenagers who think vaginal discharge is abnormal. That is just insane.

Person_one

My mum had a hysterectomy a few years before I started my periods, if I'd only learned from hers before her op I might have asked for one myself before they started!

This thread really does confirm how important good sex education in schools is though.

Keeping_Motivated

esmf73 wrote: »

Look at the usborne books what's happening to me, girls. They have won awards. Ovviously go through it with her first x

Just wondered what thoughts people who have read the 'What's happenning to me?' book to see if they think its appropriate for a 9 years old? I was going to buy it and it does have mostly good reviews however I had a look at the more negative reviews and they say it is too explicit re sexual talk for a 9 year old?

Any thoughts anyone? I want to be open but obviously don't want to broach certain topics too early if its graphic or not age appropriate.

Totally agree though that its important to talk about periods at this time.

skintchick

It's hard isn;t it? How much sex talk do they hear at school? How explicit it is really in the book? If it's just factual, this goes here stuff, then I'd say it is just a normal natural thing that humans do and there's no shame in knowing about it.

Always a good idea to look through a book before sharing it with your child though.

suejb2

Not wanting to hijack this post and I did think of starting a new one but after thought this seems the best place.Are there any suggestions regarding books to start off "the talk" I'm inspired by the posts on here so want to be prepared...over to you

Mado

suejb2 wrote: »

Not wanting to hijack this post and I did think of starting a new one but after thought this seems the best place.Are there any suggestions regarding books to start off "the talk" I'm inspired by the posts on here so want to be prepared...over to you

That's the book I gave my DD. Although it's American and some of the school setups are different, the rest is really good.
http://www.karengravelle.com/work4.htm

For the younger ones, we had also discussed the great "mummy laid an egg" by Babette Cole.

seven-day-weekend

It's more than fifty years since I had my first period at the age of ten and I don't remember my mum ever talking to me about it, but she must have done because I remember being very proud to have started as I was the first of all my friends. (However I didn't STOP having them until I was 54! 44 years of fertility!).

I agree with others, explain to the girl that it is a natural process that (most) women go through and it means you are growing up and it's a natural and healthy thing. Explain that when you are an adult woman, the body prepares the womb every month in case you are going to have a baby and that if you are not, it gets rid of the womb lining via the monthly bleeding.

It would also be a good time to explain simply about sex, both the physical and the emotional side of it, if you haven't already.

Good luck!