Daughter Growing Up

mischiefmaker

Hi Guys

It's been a very long time since I last posted on here but I am after some reassurance really. I have a DS (11) and DD (9). Just realised (was in denial) that daughter has started puberty. Hair, smell etc. I have bought her some roll on deodorant and she is very excited about growing up but I don't know how to broach the who period thing. I was secretly hoping I would have a few more years yet (I didn't start till I was 13) but she is very tall for her age (taller than her brother) and i'm now realising it's not going to be too long. We have been to the library and she got a book out about puberty and she read it but we didn't go through it together. I know she needs to know what is going to happen but I also think she is very young and don't want her to lose the innocence of childhood before she needs too.
Just noticed that this post has no real question but wanted to know how others have broached the subject and is it better to do it sooner rather than later. My mum never spoke to me or bought the necessary so want to make sure she is not having to worry about that (already bought some teen pads from boots). Thoughts gratefully received and thanks in advance.

esmf73

Look at the usborne books what's happening to me, girls. They have won awards. Ovviously go through it with her first x

moomoomama27

I sat my middle DD down at about 7 (the same sort of age her elder sister was), and explained it all to her, with the help of the usborne book. Her elder sister was just starting her periods, so it was the ideal time to bring the subject up again.

Nothing is taboo in our house, so I found the younger they were, the less embarrassed they were and they were not nervous or worried. My DD is 10 and I think she's mopre than prepared when the time comes.

balletshoes

my DD is 11, and since she was in year 5 (the first year her school had specific lessons around puberty etc) we've talked about the changes her body might go through, how her feelings might change etc. When she asks around puberty and sex etc, I answer her honestly (without going into specifics if its not age-appropriate yet), and we do have a book that I bought her (I can't remember if its the Usborne one, but its aimed at pre-teen girls).

It hasn't been scary yet (for me, or DD), I think because I haven't hammered anything home, its all been in small bits and pieces, as things have occurred to her (or me).

Person_one

Knowing how her body works will not take away her 'innocence', at all, in any way. I knew all about the mechanics of periods and sex and reproduction from such an early age I can't actually remember the first time I was told.

The best thing you can do for her is let her know she can come to you with questions, or for help, or for chocolate and a hot water bottle when the time comes. Be open, don't be embarrassed and don't let her think there's anything to be embarrassed about. Maybe you could tell her about how you felt when you were her age, and what it was like for you when you had your first period.

FBaby

It can take a whilst after puberty starts until periods show. My DD started growing boobs at 8, despite being very slim. It worried me a bit, especially when the rest followed, but in the end, she started her period just fresh of turning 13. The first girl in her class to start was the smallest one!

She learnt all about it in class in Y5 I believe. When I brooched the subject with her, I got the 'I know all this already mummy' and when I gave the speech when she started about not to worry, that she could talk to me about it etc..., I got the same response!

sapphireeye

I think it's best to talk to her about it in some way. My mum bought me a book and I remember being taught about those sort of things during year 5/6 at school but my mum never really spoke to me about it directly. We were given a box of sanitary towels at school and so when the time came I just used those and didn't tell my mum, she hadn't talked to me about it so I felt like it was something I shouldn't talk to her about and just got on with it. She then found out and was really upset that I hadn't told her, but because we'd never discussed it I didn't think she'd want to know! Once we spoke about it we ended up being very close, and it opened the door for me to tell her more.

I would just ask her about the book and whether she's talked about any of those things in lessons at school. Ask if she has any questions. If you get in early then she'll be clued up before people start saying stupid things like 'using a tampon means you've lost your virginity' and etc. Plus it won't be such a big deal when the time does come, I remember my neighbour's daughter refusing to go to school when she started her periods and all sorts!

RazWaz

I agree with Fbaby, I start getting boobs when I was 9, but didn't start my periods until almost 13. It was covered in school with me around 5 different times before anything actually happened, and the school gave us all a small pack of pads to keep in our bags just in case we got caught short and didn't want to tell anyone right away.

Knowing what is happening to your body does not mean loss of innocence, and the younger you understand these things, the more time you have to prepare yourself, and it's much less of s shock when it happens.

dark^knight

Erm...should this thread not be on the MoneySaving Mum's section?

balletshoes

dark^knight wrote: »

Erm...should this thread not be on the MoneySaving Mum's section?

who knows? maybe it should be in Moneysaving Dads? I've no idea what those 2 sub-boards are for.

dark^knight

balletshoes wrote: »

who knows? maybe it should be in Moneysaving Dads? I've no idea what those 2 sub-boards are for.

LOL...I am reading that a lot about those 2 boards.