Daughter Growing Up

System

Person_one wrote: »

I had no idea 'teen' pads even existed. What a daft idea, its well known that they can be very heavy and irregular for the first few years while hormones are all over the place.

My periods were far worse at 13/14 than in my twenties.

I second this...i used to have to use the biggest thickest ones i could find and i started at 10.

Never really had the talk with my mum (as i dont think she expected me to start whilst still at primary school :eek: ) but she quickly got together a little kit for me that look non conspicuous and that i could take to school.

System

Please talk to your daughter before she starts her periods. I could see my body changing before me. That didnt bother me as i could see i was developing breasts like my Mom had but when i had my first period i was in a state of shock. I hadnt got a clue.

LondonDiva

mischiefmaker wrote: »

DD (9). Just realised (was in denial) that daughter has started puberty. Hair, smell etc.

mischiefmaker wrote: »

I have bought her some roll on deodorant and she is very excited about growing up

mischiefmaker wrote: »

I was secretly hoping I would have a few more years yet (I didn't start till I was 13)

mischiefmaker wrote: »

We have been to the library and she got a book out about puberty and she read it but we didn't go through it together.

mischiefmaker wrote: »

I know she needs to know what is going to happen

mischiefmaker wrote: »

I also think she is very young and don't want her to lose the innocence of childhood before she needs too.

When parents complain / wonder about just WHY schools take it on themselves to give sexual health advice or basic information about periods, read the above quotes..

mischiefmaker wrote: »

...is it better to do it sooner rather than later. My mum never spoke to me or bought the necessary

Having had a poor experience of her own mother not being proactive, the OP is still not sure whether her daughter deserves better.

peachyprice

dark^knight wrote: »

Erm...should this thread not be on the MoneySaving Mum's section?

Why????

What about all the single dads of daughters out there who will need help with this at some stage.

We've moved on in the 21st century, dads know all about periods too now.

Amanda65

LondonDiva wrote: »

When parents complain / wonder about just WHY schools take it on themselves to give sexual health advice or basic information about periods, read the above quotes..
Having had a poor experience of her own mother not being proactive, the OP is still not sure whether her daughter deserves better.

Agree completely. Had 'the' chat with DD's when they were about 9 with the help of Clare Rayner's body book which also talked about body changes etc as well as periods. Being prepared and aware did not make them 'lose their innocence' and just meant they didn't do as I did which was wake up one morning looking as though I had been subject to a knife attach during the night and wondering what the hell was going on :eek:.

Please talk to your DD now OP and make sure you start building the sort of relationship when they feel they can talk to you about anything - so important.

When DD's were showing signs I also packed a little make up bag with a spare pair of knickers, a sanitary towel and a small pack of wipes and they kept it in a pocket in their school bag so if anything happened at school they could sort themselves out until they got home.

mel48rose

I think the most important thing here is that your daughter knows that she come to you and is able to ask whatever she needs to know. Years ago I never felt able to talk to my Mum and it was an awful time.
Good luck I am sure you will get through this fine.

JimmyTheWig

mischiefmaker wrote: »

I also think she is very young and don't want her to lose the innocence of childhood before she needs too.

I don't see why this means she has to lose any innocence.

You know your daughter better than we do. You know what level of detail she is ready for; we don't.
But a level of detail that she _has_ to be ready for, whether she or you like it or not, is that there will come a time - maybe soon, maybe not for a few years - when she is going to start her periods.

Does she know that female chickens lay eggs?

Like chickens, women and girls have eggs inside them. Human eggs aren't hard-shelled like chicken eggs. They're a bit yucky and messy and sticky and bloody. But that's ok. That's normal for people.
Just like a chicken, women and older girls need to get these eggs out. That's called a period, as it happens roughly once a month. Mummy has them. Auntie X has them, etc. You will have them one day.
We don't want the yucky stuff going everywhere, so we use pads. These are the ones Mummy uses. Mummy will get you some soon, so we're ready for when it happens.

I think that's all she needs to know at this point in time. Obviously it may lead to further questions which you can go into in as much detail as you feel appropriate.
But there's no innocence lost there.

Mado

JimmyTheWig wrote: »

I don't see why this means she has to lose any innocence.

I think that's all she needs to know at this point in time. Obviously it may lead to further questions which you can go into in as much detail as you feel appropriate.
But there's no innocence lost there.

Well, maybe there is a part of longing for innocence; but I think it's on Mum's side.:cool:
She will be in a much better position to deal with anything that happens to her if she understands it and doesn't have to rely on seriously distorted information she may get from her peers.

mischiefmaker

Wow thanks for all the replies. We are very open anyway and if she has asked me anything then I have always told her but let her do the questioning rather than start myself. It would appear that I just need to do it. I remember getting a bounty pack or something from school that had little books and samples in them so may have a look at that as well as some books.

I will also speak to my neice (16) who she is quite close to and say that if she doesn't want to talk to me she can talk to her as well.

Thanks again for the comments and all gratefully received and taken on board.

samtoby

I would get it out the way - I started my periods and I had no other real signs - no hair down places etc - it was bizzare - Mum even said she thought it would be last not first - who knows the human body!