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Daughter Growing Up
Comments
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From the opposite end of the spectrum, I was 15 before I started my periods. My mum kept trying to talk to me about it but I had already decided I knew everything and that I'd learnt enough at school and from friends. In reality I hadn't and it was quite a shock! If I'd been a little more open to the conversations my Mum attempted to have and if she'd been a little more persistent it might have been different.MFW: Nov 2008 £156k, Jun 2015 £129k, Jun 2017 £114k.0
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JimmyTheWig wrote: »Fair point.
My take is that it is a bit yucky, but it's ok to be a bit yucky.
Wouldn't want to explain it as all sweetness and light and then when she gets hers for her to find out that it is a bit yucky.
But each to their own.
Why yucky though? Would you say a nosebleed was yukky or would you say 'just use a hanky so it doesn't get on your clothes in case it stains'?
Would you say to a young boy 'when you have sex you will ejaculate and it will be messy and yukky and sticky'?
Sorry, not trying to cause an argument, (honest! I wouldn't have predicted myself that I'd object to the terminology) but it's worth thinking about the message given to girls about a perfectly natural function of their own bodies, no?Make £25 a day in April £0/£750 (March £584, February £602, January £883.66)
December £361.54, November £322.28, October £288.52, September £374.30, August £223.95, July £71.45, June £251.22, May£119.33, April £236.24, March £106.74, Feb £40.99, Jan £98.54) Total for 2017 - £2,495.100 -
I don't think that teens these days actually know what innocence is... just be honest with her and talk with her like she's a growing up lady, not a child....0
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roxannafy48 wrote: »I don't think that teens these days actually know what innocence is...
I think a lot of people get mixed up between innocence and ignorance.0 -
Why yucky though? Would you say a nosebleed was yukky or would you say 'just use a hanky so it doesn't get on your clothes in case it stains'?
Would you say to a young boy 'when you have sex you will ejaculate and it will be messy and yukky and sticky'?
Sorry, not trying to cause an argument, (honest! I wouldn't have predicted myself that I'd object to the terminology) but it's worth thinking about the message given to girls about a perfectly natural function of their own bodies, no?
I think the difference with a nose bleed is that I would be there at the time. In which case I would probably be talking in a way that mae it seem less yucky than it really was to avoid making the child feel worse.
But for the others when I wouldn't be there I wuold want to be more accurate beforehand so they knew what to expect.
Imagine, for example, that it was normal to not poo until the age of 11. If, beforehand, you'd been told about this perfectly natural thing that the human body does. "You sit down on the toilet, push and this lovely, natural brown lump comes out."
Then when you do your first one and find out that it stinks, you'd be pretty worried about why it smelt.0 -
From someone whose daughter has jut recently started her periods they dont lose their innocence at all.
We are very open in our house as i had a mum that wouldnt discuss it. So from a youngish age weve not made the subject taboo. Weve discussed sex as well (have a 20 yr old son) and havent made a big thing about anything.
She is still exactly the same as she was before her periods. Still enjoying being 11 (well nearly 12) and hasnt changed in the slightest.
Would also add to what clarie has said about towels. We brought the teen pads for her to use and they have proved useless. Nighttime is industrial stuff and during the day always. They have certainly changed from my day thats for sure.
If you dont make a big deal of it then she will be fine. It doesnt mean anything has to change (although my daughter is now taller then me i can still stand on a chair to look down on her as i tell her off :rotfl:)0 -
I never really had to broach the subject, but kept it light and factual if needed.
First (quite cringeworthy) situation was when Brown Owl said before Brownie Camp, when all parents and children were in the room, if we could all have the "Big P" talk prior to them going on camp (daughter was about 9 at the time, but was aware through school education and snippets picked up from me and my friends) - I think all parents and kids put their heads in their hands and groaned at that point.
At least it was an opener, so I could joke "Do you want the Big P talk?"
Anyhow, as I could see her developing, I'd make a point of grimacing and holding my tummy once a month (Oscar winning smilie needed), so she'd ask what was wrong, and I could say "Ooh, just a bit of period pain" It then opened up the path for any questions.
Well, I digress, but come the glorious day, she was around 11/12 and came home with tummy ache "Could be period pains" I said, "Nah!" she replied, and went to her room. Came down about 30 minutes later and said it was period pains after all. Job done: any questions?, talked about tampons v towels, frequency to change, disposal etc etc.
Then realised she had squad swimming lessons that night, so talked her through the tampon insertion method with a mime of in, up, back, tilt, shove. Explained it had taken me nearly a year to get the hang of them when I first started my periods, and if she had problems not a worry, just miss swimming - but no, she managed first time.
....and that was it!0 -
I can tick this off my to do list now, just had a lovely comfortable chat with my 10 yr old over breakfast lol. I'd told her previously the functional stuff like what ovaries are, what they do etc so today was just the next step like how it will be for her, reiterated the frequency, how she will feel before and during and i have gone into the practical stuff like how to attach a pad and how often to change. We are going to put these on to next weeks shopping list and i will go over the choices more when we are in the supermarket, take some of the embarrasment away should she need to ask for more/diff size/shape etc in future.
I will make her a little bag up for school and teach her about hygiene and we're good to go. Brill little thread, thanks.Littlewoods £10 Very BNPL £234.42
My total debt is [STRIKE]£7242.32[/STRIKE]£244.42
Extra payment a week: This week: £
Total to date: £1279.29 not incl this week
#33 NOvember challenge0 -
I'm going to be teaching "Reproduction" to Y7 after christmas in science (eeeek!), and have already been told that most the class won't know much about WHY girls have periods, and lots don't realise that once you start your period, you can actually get pregnant!
On this basis, I think I'd just advise being very open about the whole thing!
My mum gave me no info other than a book AFTER I'd started my periods. Even that just said what was happening, rather than why. I was SO naïve and clueless when I was younger!Should've = Should HAVE (not 'of')
Would've = Would HAVE (not 'of')
No, I am not perfect, but yes I do judge people on their use of basic English language. If you didn't know the above, then learn it! (If English is your second language, then you are forgiven!)0 -
I'm going to be teaching "Reproduction" to Y7 after christmas in science (eeeek!), and have already been told that most the class won't know much about WHY girls have periods, and lots don't realise that once you start your period, you can actually get pregnant!
On this basis, I think I'd just advise being very open about the whole thing!
My mum gave me no info other than a book AFTER I'd started my periods. Even that just said what was happening, rather than why. I was SO naïve and clueless when I was younger!
I am an English teacher but currently teaching sex education in PSHEE to my form who are Year 9 (aged 13/14) and it is a real eye opener. While they do 'know' lots of eye watering stuff that I hadn't even heard of until I was in my twenties(!) I am shocked at the really simple stuff they DON'T know. I couldn't believe how many girls in the class didn't have a clue about simple female anatomy - they had no idea the urethra existed and thought that they urinated out of their vaginas.
They also had no clue what ovulation was (this came up when discussing different methods of contraception). Many of them had also obviously never been told that it is perfectly natural for women to have some discharge, because when that came up they were visibly relieved and I heard one say to another 'I'm so glad that's normal as I always thought there was something wrong with me'. Many of them even believed that being on the pill would protect you from STIs.
So parents/carers, please talk to your children about this sort of thing! A girl shouldn't have to go until she is 14 thinking that there is something wrong with her because no one has ever told her that discharge is natural. And, although we do not want to think of our 14 year olds having sex and I hope most of them don't....I think it is dangerous that they get to that age with such startling misconceptions as that the pill can stop you getting STIs. Very worrying...0
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