New Life, My DFW Diary!

Lucy1982_2

Thanks, it's good to be back.

Got everything sorted out with work yesterday and I have another doc's appointment this afternoon.

I've reconnected to the net at home!!! It's only dial up so not very speedy, but it means that I can now have contact outside of work!! It's really nice, I sat there last night having a play on the web, it was really nice. I thought that since I have had my pay rise I could afford the £12.49 per month for internet (thanks Tesco!)

Just sent off an application form to do some website testing £25-£50 a time. Not bad for an hours work. Just have to hope that they would like me to do something.

I have an Amazon order to post later and as I am back on the net I can access Ebay, so I might have to see if my old account is still active and have a go at selling things. Any idea's on what sells well? Hopefully if it's nice on Sunday Mum and I are going to do a car boot and raise some cash (and some extra space) that way to.

Feeling really positive today which is the first time in a long time. So I am going to make the most of it.

x

Lucy1982_2

Afternoon.

I am about to sit and have my lunch (bacon and cheese salad) and thought that I would do an mid day ramble.

Still not sure if it's worth ebaying anything. I've had some mixed responses to my other thread so I might give it a go with a few items and see how I get on.

I have another doc's appointment in a bit so will be out of the office for a while this afternoon, but will stay late to make up the time. It's funny before being signed off I was really struggling to be bothered to do any work, but I seem to be really getting through things today. Which is making me feel so much better. I actually feel like I might be worth my pay rise!

Anyway will opst again later x

Lucy1982_2

Right just back from my Doctor's appointment. Was really good, she thinks I am suffering from very mild depression coupled with bad anxiety (?) attacks. She is sending me on a course to help me learn how to deal with this.

Apparently I come across as a control freak/perfectionist who is putting so much pressure on myself to do well I am making myself ill!!

So I need to learn to be selfish and make time for myself. Which is going to be easier said then done. So I was thinking I might save up and look into doing some evening classes or something.

But I am feeling much calmer and will soon be able to deal with the panic attacks when they come. Work has been really good as we haven't been so busy over the last 2 days so I have been able to catch up with a few things, I have one big job to do tomorrow and then I can do my filling which hasn't been done in about 3 weeks :eek: .

So I am going to go home in a bit and chill out. I might go out in the garden and replant some of my house plant and then I am not going to do much.

But it's all good and I just need to get back in control, but in a good way where I don't mind if things go wrong and can cope if my plans don't go the way I want them to.

So here is to the new Me. A fresh start, personally and financially. I lost the plot a bit while off sick so I am going to use this as an opportunity to start again and try not to worry about it so much and just deal with things as they come at me.

What will be will be wont it?

Sea78

Oh big hugs hon - do make sure you take time for yourself and, yes, be selfish at times!

Sea xx

Lucy1982_2

Thanks and at least I can say My doctor told me to!!!!

nicola1982_2

Oh hon - I have a similar problem which is where part of my debt comes from wanting to be the perfect girlfriend for my ex and therefore trusting him with the cc. You have to start thinking about how imperfect everyone else is anyway - even people who seem perfect, my old boss had her baby not long ago and she had the perfect pregnancy, perfect birth, is in a stable marriage with a wealthy man and a big house and I started thinking I wasn't good enough for my baby. Then I remembered something - she's a complete stroppy cow who is disliked by alot of her colleagues. Not so perfect

Lucy1982_2

I know and I am the only one who is putting myself through this. Everyone I know loves me for who I am, I'm just determind to be better!! But perhaps I am good enough, I have a good job and lovely people around me. So I don't own my own home just yet... But I am only 25 I think I have still have time! I'm just going to try and slow down and enjoy things.

It's going to be hard, but like paying off my debt it's something I need to do.

skint_spice

Glad you are feeling more positive and hope you do give yourself a bit more time and also some credit for your achievements.
Here's to the new Lucy!

Lucy1982_2

Morning everyone.

Right I am into my first day of trying to deal with everything in a less controlling way. I've just dropped my car off for it's annual service and hopefully that wont cost to much. I can get my hands on about £133 and if it costs more than that I will just have to be careful next month and pay off my Lloyds OD. Nothing I can do about it. Just wish my car luck!!

Just had a look at the weather and Sunday should be nice and sunny which means I will be able to do my car boot :T Which will help towards any Lloyds OD I run up this month. What I've decided to do is pay any money I make into my savings and then I can transfer it into my account just before payday so I don't just fritter it away.

I have loads of filing to do today which will make work seem a little bit more organised.

But here's to a good day and my car not costing to much!

Lucy1982_2

Just had a phone call from Mum and we have been given a tub of icecream and some Thornton's chocolates from Sainsburys!!

We are nectar card holders and they are birthday present apparently!! Not good for the diet, but it's free stuff!!