grandparents finding grandchildren difficult

Mado

Mojisola wrote: »

I've never thought about it before but the people I know who have the best manners and will open doors, give up seats, etc, are the most confident, rounded personalities around.

I've seen very confident and successful folks with appalling manners too.
I've no issue with teaching children good manners; in fact I wish more adults had some grasp of them.
I take issue with teaching them that an adult is more deserving than they are, just because they are over 18. I teach my children to be considerate for ALL people, regardless of age gender, colour and creed.

I don't know why some of you equate treating all people fairly with bad manners.probably because some feel they 'deserve' more consideration than others.

Mojisola

Mado wrote: »

I've seen very confident and successful folks with appalling manners too.

There are confident and successful people who not rounded personalities - sometimes their problems are what has made them successful (if not very nice).

I teach my children to be considerate for ALL people, regardless of age gender, colour and creed.

This is how we were brought up and what I've taught my children.

Mado

peachyprice wrote: »

They used to send children up chimneys.

They also used not to believe a child's word over an adult...
And let adults abuse children because they couldn't possibly tell the truth.

Mojisola wrote: »

There are confident and successful people who not rounded personalities - sometimes their problems are what has made them successful (if not very nice).

not sure what this means.
Plenty of nice people without rounded personalities too.
I'm not sure where you are going there.
People are people...plenty of variety out there.

seven-day-weekend

I brought my son up to be considerate to all, as well, even when it went against the crowd.

I remember him coming home from school once and telling me how his class had been behaving to a teacher who had negligible classroom management skills. He said he had seen tears in the teacher's eyes and he was actually quite upset about it. I asked him how he had behaved and he said he had not joined in with the bullying. He also said that the teacher was not a very good teacher. So we had a talk and we agreed that not joining in was good, and whatever the guy's teaching skills were like, he was still a human being with feelings who deserved to be treated decently. My son continued in that class for the rest of the year and was respectful to the teacher all the way through, even thought the vast majority were not, and got a glowing report at the end.

I also taught him to stand up on buses

(I'm glad to say, for everyone's sake including his own, that the teacher left the profession the following year).

seven-day-weekend

Mado wrote: »

They also used not to believe a child's word over an adult...

You need to find out the truth, whether it be adult or child who is telling it, not automatically believe one or the other.

Mado

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

You need to find out the truth, whether it be adult or child who is telling it, not automatically believe one or the other.

That is stating the obvious. But not what happened for centuries.
Unless of course, you are disagreeing with my statement?

I'm leaving this thread as this has become a smugfest of people who are unable to see the posts for what they say but want to agree with their mates at all costs...

seven-day-weekend

Mado wrote: »

That is stating the obvious. But not what happened for centuries.
Unless of course, you are disagreeing with my statement?

I'm leaving this thread as this has become a smugfest of people who are unable to see the posts for what they say but want to agree with their mates at all costs...

No, I don't disagree, just saying we should not automatically take one person's word over another, whatever age they might be

I know that for years children were not believed over an adult, and that is not right. However, I think it has swung too far the other way now and children are automatically believed. What we need is to make sure we know the truth before taking action.

Mojisola

peachyprice wrote: »

Or those who have been brought up to be subservient.;)

Mojisola wrote: »

I've never thought about it before but the people I know who have the best manners and will open doors, give up seats, etc, are the most confident, rounded personalities around.

Mado wrote: »

not sure what this means.
Plenty of nice people without rounded personalities too.
I'm not sure where you are going there.

Yes, there are.

I said that the people I know who are the most polite ones are not subservient but confident, well-rounded people.

I'm not "going" anywhere with it, just stating my experience.

365days

Why should I bring my child up to do that. What would be the explanation? Sorry you have to give up your seat because someone who has got on after you and is perfectly capable of standing on their own wants it???[/QUOTE]

No one's answered this yet. Is that because there is no rational explanation.

Mado

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

However, I think it has swung too far the other way now and children are automatically believed. .

What utter boll0cks.
You obviously haven't been near children for a long time.
Allegations made by children are taken seriously and investigated. Nothing to do with automatically believing them.

BTW, who do you think automatically believe them? Parents, teachers, police?