Clearing debts, keeping well and sorting myself out...

Kepp

Morning Emz

Not really sure what to advise (I have problem's with OH's parents at times too) so just second what GRC says - You're better than them!

[Deleted User]

Thanks very much for the explanation of OH's parental situation. It makes it a lot clearer why he acts as he does. And as others have said, you're better than them. All you can do is support him and if possible subtly stop him being taken for a 'mug'.

His Mum's nasty comments about how you couldn't even peel an onion made me so cross:mad:. I bet she wouldn't have said it if you were there. Just goes to show what nasty-minded people they are. I wonder whether they exert undue influence on your OH when you aren't around to hear what gets said. I can appreciate he feels torn between his financial commitments with you and the unfair demands of his parents and it seems you are doing more than your fair share to keep things on an even keel. It must be very hard sometimes just to 'bite your tongue' and go with the flow so well done you:A

Emzilla

Thanks Beccie and CBC

OH knows how I feel about his parents. From his point of view, they have helped him out and he thinks that means he owes them big time and just keeps paying for stuff for them, buying them meals and doing them favours all the time. He can't seem to understand my point of view, which is that they are his parents and they chose to help him out. Fair enough, he should be paying the mortgage (which he does) but then that should be an end to it. They shouldn't constantly be throwing it back in his face and expecting him to bow to their every need, when he's there, just because they helped him out. That is what parents do, they help their children out. My mum has lent me money (around £2k), but she never even mentions it to me because she knows that I will pay her back one day and that is good enough for her.

I have no doubt that they are rude about me behind my back. When we are face to face, their comments are much more subtle and hidden (like his dad having a pop about my new laptop).

They are visiting at the end of next week, and I will be on auntie duties on the Thursday and Friday (think they are descending on Friday afternoon, but not sure), plus it's my gran's 93rd birthday on Saturday, so I want to go and see her then, which means that I won't be able to hang around with them much (what a shame!! ).

Emz xx

MuffinTops

Hi Emz,
You both sound like you handle the situation as well as you can. You're very right that his parents chose to help him and that while he's paying the mortgage on time every month the matter shouldn't even rear its head, but sadly these sound like people who would want their son to feel they owed them even if they hadn't bailed him out. This is just an easy solution to their ways but they would have found something else if he hadn't needed their money.

No matter what you or your OH do they will always find something to criticise which, to me, shows that their opinion can't be trusted. I know that you can peel onions, I also know you can do anything you put your mind to but seriously, the amount of importance she put on your onion peeling abilities says so much about the person she is. She almost sounds threatened by you and your overall abilities despite your health.

I'm sorry but I did smile that she held onto the memory of how her son's gf peels onions. Who remembers that stuff for so long? I don't even remember how I peel an onion 10 minutes after it's happened. It just doesn't hold enough importance to hit my long term memory bank!!!!!

Emzilla

MuffinTops wrote: »

Hi Emz,
You both sound like you handle the situation as well as you can. You're very right that his parents chose to help him and that while he's paying the mortgage on time every month the matter shouldn't even rear its head, but sadly these sound like people who would want their son to feel they owed them even if they hadn't bailed him out. This is just an easy solution to their ways but they would have found something else if he hadn't needed their money.

No matter what you or your OH do they will always find something to criticise which, to me, shows that their opinion can't be trusted. I know that you can peel onions, I also know you can do anything you put your mind to but seriously, the amount of importance she put on your onion peeling abilities says so much about the person she is. She almost sounds threatened by you and your overall abilities despite your health.

I'm sorry but I did smile that she held onto the memory of how her son's gf peels onions. Who remembers that stuff for so long? I don't even remember how I peel an onion 10 minutes after it's happened. It just doesn't hold enough importance to hit my long term memory bank!!!!!

I would love to know how the conversation about me peeling onions came about??? Did they have onions with their Christmas dinner and his mother thought about how much better she peeled onions than I did? The mind boggles!! I did ask OH, but he said he couldn't remember (or just didn't want to tell me).

I think you're right though, even if OH won the lottery and paid back the mortgage and then gave them a million on top, they still wouldn't be happy. I think part of the problem with me too (in his mother's eyes anyway) is that I can't have children and I've been with her only child for the past 12 years and she realises that she will never be a grandmother as long as I stay with him. She has made comments in the past like 'oh I thought I would be a grandmother by now'. She knows what I have and that I can't have children, so she knows what she is doing when she makes comments like that.

Emz xx

beanielou

What a truely nasty woman.

Emzilla

beanielou wrote: »

What a truely nasty woman.

I know she is Lou. I'm going to try and not even think about them, and when they're here, I'm going to try and ignore their sarcastic comments and count the hours down until they go home again.

They're coming down on Thursday evening next week and going back on Saturday.

Emz xx

beanielou

Well of course you are busy all day Fri & Sat

Emzilla

beanielou wrote: »

Well of course you are busy all day Fri & Sat

Yep, pretty much!! I'm not rearranging my life for them :cool:

Emz xx

Emzilla

Morning

I know I know, it's really early. I've been up since 4am. Sometimes I just wake up, try to get back to sleep, lay there for ages and then just think 'what the hell' and get up.

I've been a bit slack in terms of my goals for this month. I blame it on having to go 'you know where' last weekend. I didn't have a chance to get into my stride. But there is still time to meet my targets .

My goals are:

Earn £930 on 63336 - £40.20/£930
Get pay out on New Vista (£50) - £47.25/£50
Get pay out on Global Test Market (£30) - 760/1000
Get pay out on One Poll (£40) - £10.10/£40
Get pay out on Panel Base (£10) - £1.75/£10
Get £100 in vouchers - £0/£100
Get £50 from free bingo = £10.11/£50
Get £50 tracking/paid out on Quidco - £13.75/£50
Get £50 tracking/paid out on Top Cash Back - £2.17/£50
Get £50 from eMystery Research - £9/£50

I've still got a lot to do. I'll update my totals at the start of each day so I can see how I'm progressing.

I've started PADding too. It's nice to see that debt number go down every day.

Off to get ready to look after my niece and do the school run. Have a good day everyone

Emz xx