what to do........

mogwai

OP how about something like this

http://www.carat.co/web/product/en/1044?antiCache=13534339017789019F6C50C53904191754EBC3501F370

looks gorgeous and can't distinguish from the real thing..
he can always buy you a 'real' engagement ring later

if you are both ready to get married and the ring is the only thing stopping you i would suggest you find a way around it, rather than waiting and feeling bitter or depressed about it??

you can also do a beautiful wedding cheaply, lots of tips on the weddings board here..

londonsurrey

He's taking you for granted, that he can propose ... mañana.
And he's not wrong, he's been thinking that for nearly half a decade, and it has held true.

Develop yourself into something more independent, that has options. Ironically, by doing this, he'll suddenly be more keen to ensure that you're "tied in" and be more likely to propose.

LEJC

Can I just backtrack OP...I think ive read it as you dont mind what the wedding is like,small and intimate is what you want...and he wants...

But somewhere he's got it in his mind that before you start wedding planning you would like a nice ring....

Can you quantify what you mean by nice...sorry to be a killjoy butwhats the budget for the ring,and have you discussed that with him.....is it possible that your idea of a nice ring and his idea of a nice ring dont match?

I'm asking purely because couples sometimes have very wide differences on this...
I am one of those people who love jewellery and actually know quite a bit about it....when I met my H2B he also knew of my passion for it....and was possibly dare I say somewhat indimidated by it....
anyway 6 weeks later and the marriage question happened and we set off to buy a ring...I chose what I liked not at all based on budget or quality etc etc....and he walked away from the shop a happy man....its not about big and expensive its about the sentiment attached to it....my engagement ring means more to me than lots of the more expensive items I have purely because it signifies a moment in our lives

So rather than asking what type of wedding you want it might be worth clarifying with him what you desire from the proposal and he feels he wants to give...once thats out of the way you can plan the wedding.

Edit...just rereading my post...and its come across a bit harsh...I'm not expecting you to name your budget here,simply posing questions for you to mentally consider....
Rings need not be expensive or even new,second hand or vintage whichever way you want to look at it will cost subtantially less than the new equivilent and often be better made...a family heirloom is also a nice touch and even creating siomething new independantly with a jeweller can be a lot cheaper than you think.

Seanymph

I wonder if he's just 'putting it off' because he doesn't fancy it too. Sorry. Do you think that may be it? Or do you truly think it's ENTIRELY because of him wanting to buy you a 'big' ring?

Anyway, if it is then you could find an alternative.

OH and I have just got married - DH not OH! - my ring was from an antique shop, fire opal and diamonds, and cheap....... we trawled around secondhand jewellery places, antique shops - and actually since we found it I went to a couple of local auctions for antiques and could have bought bags of gold rings for a hundred pounds or so each - and two of those I LOVED. I'd have had to put the rest of them back into the next auction - but I could have found one at the auction.

So, I have an antique ring - cheap........ a wedding ring (as did he) that we liked - and we had a trip to the registry with VERY close family (three of them).

You have the day you want. We didn't want a big event, so we didn't have one.

But you are right - being married feels different to me too. And I'm pleased we are (after 6 years of living together) - and you get legal recognition as a couple.

But like I say, I'd be concerned he didn't fancy getting married rather than he didn't fancy finding a cheap enough ring you loved.

Oh, ebay has loads of jewellery - I saw some nice rings on there - I even checked out the jewellery channel on the tv! You can find a ring for not so much that you can live the rest of your life with if you really scout about.

Incapuppy

You don't need to have an engagement ring to be engaged to be married, its the intent that matters.

shegirl

If he isn't actually just stalling (which he may well be,you're both young) then what is the big deal.

You want him to do what you want but you don't want him to do what he wants.Which is most important -you getting married asap just to make you happy or your OH getting a say and doing what HE wants to do to?

Have you ever considered that the ring is important TO HIM?

mummybearx

My boyfriend and I had been together about 6 years and no proposal. We talked about it, but he didn't propose.

Leap year 2008 I text him asking if he would marry me. Only a joke really, just trying to wind him up :rotfl: He text me back saying yes, and two years later we got married!
He didn't propose earlier cos he wanted to buy me a good ring. We saved for a few months after I proposed to him, bought a beautiful 2 carat antique diamond ring from a pawn shop, I absolutely adore it!

Sometimes men say they won't propose unless they have a good ring, and that's exactly what they mean.

I can't believe people on here are saying that your boyfriend doesn't want to be with you. You know him better than us all.
Xxx
.

Ames

I'm the last person to advise on weddings etc, but can I just point out that a wedding certificate and will are not interchangible - even if you get married it's a good idea to make a will, especially if you have children. What would happen to the house if you both died in a car crash together? Or to the children if you have them and that happens?

glitter03

I have been with my OH over 9years. We own a house together and have 2 children. I am 27 and he is 32......still no proposal LOL!

Yorkie1

It sounds to me as though you've been badgering him non-stop about this and given no thought about his preferences.