what to do........

pinkskyatnight

Tish_P wrote: »

Constantly saying something that amounts to "you should have proposed just then" probably makes him feel rushed and pressured. Maybe give yourself (and him) a holiday from even bringing up the subject?

It sounds like he may have more traditional views than you about doing the occasion "properly" - so it's likely to cost more - and his feelings count too!

its not constant at all, its just whenever we have been anywhere nice or done something nice, which is few and far between now we are concentrating on paying off debt asap i would say that it would be a nice setting to propose in the hope that he realises that i dont want an expensive ring and all the hoohah, that i am just interested in marrying him

pinkskyatnight

JimmyTheWig wrote: »

Maybe each time he's been about to do it, but you've spoilt his surprise!

How about you look in the Argos book, or similar, and pick out a few nice, cheap rings that you like the look of. Point them out to your boyfriend. Tell him you like them. Tell him any of the ones you pointed out would be nice as an engagement ring. You could even point out to him where the money for one of them could come from (don't know how tight your budgets are, or how you organise your money jointly).
It's a fine line, I'd say. You don't want to tell him outrightly that you want him to do it when and where and how. But equally if you just hint he may not realise what you mean.

we have been to hatton garden in london, weve been to the lanes in brighton.. looking at the rings.. so he could get an idea of what i liked, but seeing all the expensive prices just majorly put me off.. and just for a little chip of something that isnt even that rare anyways!

Errata

Waiting until he can afford to buy you a nice ring is his way of not wanting to get engaged to you.

pinkskyatnight

Errata wrote: »

Waiting until he can afford to buy you a nice ring is his way of not wanting to get engaged to you.

lol thanks for that

lika_86

Women, can't win by buying them an Elizabeth Duke ring, can't win by buying them a nice one.

Suspect that you're saying you wouldn't mind nipping off to the registry office now but that then it escalates, first your parents want to see you get married, then grandparents/aunties/uncles/cousins can't be left out, then it seems a waste to not have a meal afterwards, before you know it you've got a big wedding!

lika_86

pinkskyatnight wrote: »

its not constant at all, its just whenever we have been anywhere nice or done something nice, which is few and far between now we are concentrating on paying off debt asap i would say that it would be a nice setting to propose in the hope that he realises that i dont want an expensive ring and all the hoohah, that i am just interested in marrying him

Sounds mental to me. I'd be running a mile. Maybe cool off a bit, poor bloke, he's only 26.

JimmyTheWig

Errata wrote: »

Waiting until he can afford to buy you a nice ring is his way of not wanting to get engaged to you.

I disagree. I think it's his way of wanting to do it "right". You could say the same about saving up to get married. Or even planning a wedding.
When you get engaged you could phone the registry office there and then and book the first available appointment they have. Or you could plan what you want. I wouldn't say that someone who chooses to wait to have what they want rather than taking the first available appointment was them not wanting to get married.

Whether, in this case, the OP's boyfriend really wants to buy an expensive ring then that's a tough one. But if he wants to buy an expensive ring because he thinks it is what the OP really wants then she needs to make him realise that that's not the case.

OP - there's nothing to stop him buying you an expensive eternity ring 10 years down the line.

Del_Astra

May I suggest a trip to Edinburgh?

MacIntyres on Fredrick street is the place to go for your ring. You will not be disappointed and neither will he. If it doesn't fit they will get it sorted within an hour or so on weekdays (not sure about the weekends).

Also are you sure he will be happy with your choice of wedding venue etc, perhaps his family have other ideas?

pinkskyatnight

JimmyTheWig wrote: »

I disagree. I think it's his way of wanting to do it "right". You could say the same about saving up to get married. Or even planning a wedding.
When you get engaged you could phone the registry office there and then and book the first available appointment they have. Or you could plan what you want. I wouldn't say that someone who chooses to wait to have what they want rather than taking the first available appointment was them not wanting to get married.

Whether, in this case, the OP's boyfriend really wants to buy an expensive ring then that's a tough one. But if he wants to buy an expensive ring because he thinks it is what the OP really wants then she needs to make him realise that that's not the case.

OP - there's nothing to stop him buying you an expensive eternity ring 10 years down the line.

thank you!! i was starting to feel disheartened!!..

'poor bloke' ive been with him 4.5 years.. waiting.. i think i am allowed to start applying the pressure slightly?!!

JimmyTheWig

How about this, OP?
http://www.argos.co.uk/static/Product/partNumber/2326452.htm