how to say no?

atrixblue.-MFR-.

mountainofdebt wrote: »

Because saying I'd rather poke out both eyes with a rusty nail and then eat them than go out with you often offends

saying id rather not go because i spend enough time around colleagues during the day and talking about work after work is not my idea of fun, is better.

and i have said this once

please understand i tell things as they are i have rather difficult time hoilding my toungue when a situation doesnt warrant an excuse!.

atrixblue.-MFR-.

pukkamum wrote: »

I've just had to tell my sister that I won't be attending her 40th birthday meal, it didn't go well.
My reasons were
a) It is a set menu at £58.50 PER HEAD NOT INCLUDING DRINKS!
b) Only I could go due to no babysitter.
c) It is miles away so I would have to drive there and back on my own.
d) She i s having a family do the next day that we will be attending that will cost £20 in petrol to get to.
e) The amount it would cost me is equal to one of my 3 kids xmas budget.
f) I pretty much hate all the people attending (London yuppie types)

This has led to open warfare on my sisters side with phonecalls to my mum complaining about my lack of sisterly duty??
Offers to pay half (this has been done before but never again after she announced to the table she was doing so).

I have told her outright I am not going because of money but I am still the bad guy!

then your sister cant handle the truth. wich is not your problem, thats her's.

so why should you feel bad about that.

pukkamum

atrixblue.-MFR-. wrote: »

then your sister cant handle the truth. wich is not your problem, thats her's.

so why should you feel bad about that.

I know, my DH says the same, I just hate the injustice of being seen as a party pooper who Just wants to sit at home (her words) and the muttering to my mum about it, when it comes to my sister I seem to revert to a teenager wanting to smack her in the mouth :mad:

SuzieSue

It's good to know that so many other people don't like work meals etc. I thought I was the only one.

lady1964

I wish I could avoid our staff Xmas party but it's being held after a full staff meeting that we're expected to attend and it's not local - it's a 2 hour drive from my home. Company is paying for some of us to stay overnight, which is kind of them, but for various reasons, I just don't fancy it.

Other than calling in sick - which I wouldn't do unless it really was genuine, I can't see a way out of it

tattycath

Last year i was invited to a Christmas lunch with work-however, it was somewhere I'd never been and I get flustered driving to where I don't know. OH was too busy with work to take me and I didn't feel comfortable with the drive or the expense so I declined on the grounds I was busy-turns out I didn't miss much anyway.

tattycath

lady1964 wrote: »

I wish I could avoid our staff Xmas party but it's being held after a full staff meeting that we're expected to attend and it's not local - it's a 2 hour drive from my home. Company is paying for some of us to stay overnight, which is kind of them, but for various reasons, I just don't fancy it.

Other than calling in sick - which I wouldn't do unless it really was genuine, I can't see a way out of it

Couldn't you have an emergency appointment or prior engagement? or expecting visitors and can't really put them off again kind of thing?

scooby088

I for one wouldn't worry too much about upsetting anyone really, I always say an outright no if I don't want to go simple really, If there is pressure from other people all you need to say is I have made my mind up and the answer is still the same or just a simple mind your own business.

victory

pukkamum wrote: »

Offers to pay half (this has been done before but never again after she announced to the table she was doing so).

I have told her outright I am not going because of money but I am still the bad guy!

How mortifyingly embarrasing for you:eek: that is anger/resentment/one upmanship/controlling abusive from your sister which you should never ever tolerate, she has issues, you are not to blame she is

meritaten

pukkamum wrote: »

I've just had to tell my sister that I won't be attending her 40th birthday meal, it didn't go well.
My reasons were
a) It is a set menu at £58.50 PER HEAD NOT INCLUDING DRINKS!
b) Only I could go due to no babysitter.
c) It is miles away so I would have to drive there and back on my own.
d) She i s having a family do the next day that we will be attending that will cost £20 in petrol to get to.
e) The amount it would cost me is equal to one of my 3 kids xmas budget.
f) I pretty much hate all the people attending (London yuppie types)

This has led to open warfare on my sisters side with phonecalls to my mum complaining about my lack of sisterly duty??
Offers to pay half (this has been done before but never again after she announced to the table she was doing so).

I have told her outright I am not going because of money but I am still the bad guy!

YOUR lack of sisterly duty???????? :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: other way around hun - your sis is showing a complete lack of understanding about your finances and to announce to people that she paid for half your meal takes my breath away! if my sis had done that she would have been 'wearing her half'!!!