how to say no?

red_devil

if you get invited to meals around xmas with clubs, groups not family where you have to pay yourself and dont want to go how do you tell people?

are you honest?
say you cant afford it?
say you are busy?

does anyone have this?

cherie1122

I've had this quite often - people at work have practically insisted that I go for a meal with them in the evening

I've just told them I don't want to go. They didn't like it but I really didn't want to go.

marisco_2

I just say that I have alternative plans already and that I am sorry I cant make it on this occasion. A couple of years drama training means I can now tell anything from white lies to woppers and not be caught out. No 'facial leakage' as my drama teacher use to say

lika_86

It's Christmas, people will expect that you will have other plans. Just say you're busy with another Christmas meal/child's event (if you have one).

Slightly harder if it's a lunch though.

sammyjammy

I am a very unsociable person. I spend a lot of time at work and so I like to spend my free time at home with my cats. Some would call me a hermit

I find people take it very personally if you just say you don't feel like it/don't want to without explanation so to make life easier I do sometimes make up an excuse to avoid the 20 questions.

I have even been known to agree just to keep the peace if the person arguing is particularly argumentative and then excuse myself at the last minute by text - very rude!!!!

Del_Astra

I would say I'm general honest about it.

I have said in the past I can't attend as my wife already has plans that evening and I'm required in a child care role (and it was the truth). Men of a certain age find this one very puzzling, and I have had comments about it.

bargainbetty

You can try any of the following lines:

1. The refusal: I'm sorry, I've already got plans!
2. The cheaper option: I'd love to, but to be honest, it's all getting a bit expensive for me this year - shall we do a quick drink instead?
3. The guarantee of no repeat invite: Sod off. I don't like you so why do you keep pestering me?

My favourite refusal was watching a male barrister calmly decline an invitation out on the grounds that he was planning to paint his toenails that night.

SailorSam

marisco wrote: »

A couple of years drama training means I can now tell anything from white lies to woppers and not be caught out.

Are you telling us the truth there Marisco, you're not telling porkies are you.

Tish_P

"I'm sorry, I've got too much else on" is versatile. Then any pushing gets a stuck-record repeated "Sorry, I can't".

(This feels rude the first time you say it but if they're repeatedly pressing you to do something you've clearly said you don't want to do, they're the ones being rude. )

marisco_2

SailorSam wrote: »

Are you telling us the truth there Marisco, you're not telling porkies are you.

Honest guv, would I lie to you

Tiglath

I get rounds of this at work. I just say 'Sorry, I'm budgeting, and besides I'm antisocial and don't like going for meals or drinks.' Can't think of anything worse than spending my free time with braying City types all getting sloshed on ghastly overpriced booze. They all know me but still they ask ...