Ah..I get it...this is the new dating forum !!

maintenanceman

Have posted on POF and not one reply. Probably because I don't have a picture up. The online dating seems so vague. I think I might try the local McDonalds and see if I can find a single mum. So if someone approches you, randomly, in a Mcdonalds it might be me. Be aware!!:p

VestanPance

maintenanceman wrote: »

Have posted on POF and not one reply. Probably because I don't have a picture up. The online dating seems so vague. I think I might try the local McDonalds and see if I can find a single mum. So if someone approches you, randomly, in a Mcdonalds it might be me. Be aware!!:p

Guys tend to get limited responses online. Why no picture? That's surely going to just lessen your chances of any responses to messages. That's not vague, that's just common sense.

Like it or not part of the dating process is based on appearance.

maintenanceman

VestanPance wrote: »

Guys tend to get limited responses online. Why no picture? That's surely going to just lessen your chances of any responses to messages. That's not vague, that's just common sense.

Like it or not part of the dating process is based on appearance.

Is that your view when looking for a date. I wonder if that is the view of the ladys looking for a date. TBH the obvious reply to your comment would be that you are shallow and take appearance above personality. There are personal descriptions available and I suppose most people would take that on face value. The funny thing is that when viewing people with photograpghs on a dating sit, such as POF, etc they can look completely different from the first pic to the last so effectively the point is moot.

VestanPance

It's not shallow, it's the plain and simple truth. Men and women will take appearance into account when selecting a date. We all have different things that we find attractive or unattractive, but these things will be a factor when looking for a partner.

1. A person you find attractive but don't like their personality is at most going be a sexual partner, nothing beyond that.
2. A person who's personality you really like but there is no physical attraction to is a friend.
3. A person who you find attractive and who's personality you like is a possible long term partner.

It's not either personality or attraction, it's both. If you think you can rule one of those out and then blame the other gender for being shallow you're being extremely naive.

maintenanceman

VestanPance wrote: »

It's not shallow, it's the plain and simple truth. Men and women will take appearance into account when selecting a date. We all have different things that we find attractive or unattractive, but these things will be a factor when looking for a partner.

1. A person you find attractive but don't like their personality is at most going be a sexual partner, nothing beyond that.
2. A person who's personality you really like but there is no physical attraction to is a friend.
3. A person who you find attractive and who's personality you like is a possible long term partner.

It's not either personality or attraction, it's both. If you think you can rule one of those out and then blame the other gender for being shallow you're being extremely naive.

Vestan prince . sorry but I disagree. I wouldn't pigeon hole attractiveness/ personality, that is shallow for me and a little bit cold. It's obvious that different people have different expectations and I hope the best for you in your search.

Skinnylatte

Rachel83 wrote: »

while we're at it I'll join too! haha
I'm 28 and single and plenty of fish is full of no hopers or pervs :eek:

I know I married one :rotfl:

samuelthomson240

free sites apart from pof . anyone know of any thanks

newcook

I agree with vestanpance – I need to find the person attractive as well as interesting.

Maybe it does sound shallow that I would want to meet an attractive man but if I am going to have a relationship with someone then I need to fancy them – if I don’t find them attractive Im not going to fancy them and therefore wont date them!

However, what I think to be attractive might not be attractive to others. One of my friends has a thing for beards where as I find them an instant turn off!

ali-t wrote: »

VestanPance, he got the same advice on the dating thread months ago and chose not to take any of it on board.

Yep – that was me that gave the advice and even gave a few ideas of what he could put. Rather than put it into his own words and add to it he just copied and pasted what I had emailed him – including the double etc at the end!!

VestanPance

newcook wrote: »

Maybe it does sound shallow that I would want to meet an attractive man but if I am going to have a relationship with someone then I need to fancy them – if I don’t find them attractive Im not going to fancy them and therefore wont date them!

However, what I think to be attractive might not be attractive to others. One of my friends has a thing for beards where as I find them an instant turn off!

That doesn't sound shallow to me, it sounds human. If all you were going on was attraction then that is shallow and doomed to failure in terms of developing a long term relationship, but attraction needs to part of the equation along with personality and core values etc for a relationship to blossom.

In life you'll find people you find attractive but you can't stand them. You'll meet the nicest folk in the world but not be attracted to them and if you are lucky one day you'll find that person you are attracted too and who has the personality to match.

As you say everyone has different things they find attractive. Sure there is a small percentage of folk that most people find attractive, but they are far from what is normal. I'm a self confessed leg man. A nice pair of pins and I'm starting to drool, while other guys would wonder what I'm getting excited about. My best mate literally fancies any lady that is...erm how do I put this... top heavy! That does nothing for me. In my years I think I've heard some guy at some point list the most obvious to the most obscure as the reason they are attracted to certain type of women. I'm pretty sure woman are just as all over the place with the things they find attractive in men.

I really don't see how anyone has a romantic relationship with someone they don't find attractive. That's pretty much that basis of a male/female friendship.

System

I was talking to my bf last night about attraction, and we both agreed it is important and anyone who says it isn't, well they're probably lying to themselves. If you like someone but you're not attracted to them, those people tend to end up as friends, but if you like someone and you're attracted to them then you're more likely to have a relationship with them, its basic human instinct. Whe i saw his profile yes i did like what i read about him as it made him sound fun and interesting (which he is) but i did look at his pics and think "f-ing hell this guy is hot", which prompted me to message him, he was the full package, looks and personality. If he didn't have a picture i probabaly wouldn't have messaged him as a)i like to know who i'm talking to and put a face to the name and b)it would make me suspicious that he had something to hide. If that makes me shallow so be it but we're both very happy so i'm not complaining