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Help! 18 yr old sis and 46 yr old man

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  • When my daughter was 17, she started going out with a 37-year-old, who was also her boss at her Saturday job. Obviously I wasn't happy about this, especially as she was very quiet and inexperienced and looked about 12 at the time.

    However, she could also be very stubborn and I knew if tried to lay down the law then it could go the wrong way. So I gritted my teeth and invited him round for Sunday dinner etc and made him welcome and gave him a chance, so I could at least see him for myself.

    The first consequence of this was that I discovered that far from being some pervert who was taking advantage of my daughter, he was actually just a very shy, inexperienced man who didn't know how to relate to women (or anyone really) that well so was not a threat in the way I imagined. The second consequence was that when she saw him interacting (or failing to interact) with her family, she saw him in a different light and decided he wasn't for her anyway.
  • Mojisola
    Mojisola Posts: 35,574 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    When my daughter was 17, she started going out with a 37-year-old

    The second consequence was that when she saw him interacting (or failing to interact) with her family, she saw him in a different light and decided he wasn't for her anyway.

    Relationships are complicated things. We've got friends who were quite shocked when their daughter brought home her first BF and found he was nearly as old as they were. They took the same approach as you but found him to be a lovely man who genuinely loves their daughter and the couple have been together for some years now.
  • NAR
    NAR Posts: 4,863 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Mojisola wrote: »
    Relationships are complicated things. We've got friends who were quite shocked when their daughter brought home her first BF and found he was nearly as old as they were. They took the same approach as you but found him to be a lovely man who genuinely loves their daughter and the couple have been together for some years now.
    I think nowadays people tend to jump to the wrong conclusions first and work their way backwards, which can be unfair.
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