Domestic

UserName01_2

geoffky wrote: »

Lots of people are on police bail without ever being charged....I very much doubt that his friends not contacting you can be one of his bail conditions because everyone is responsible for their own actions...You could stitch so may people up with a text and claim it was from his friend..

He has been charged and is on bail with conditions that he does not contact me directly or indirectly, which means his friend can not contact me. He will have obviously informed his friends and that's why I got the text this morning. Yes you could stitch someone up but why would anyone want to do that to their own friend knowing it will land them back in the cell for breach of bail.

thorsoak

HAVE YOU MADE CONTACT WITH WOMENS' AID YET?

They can give you good support and advice - you don't have to deal with this on your own.

3v3

UserName01 wrote: »

... I already knew about VS and the DV team prior to posting (this information is on my local police force website) however I stated I will not be contacting them right now so no I am not ignoring anyone, I will be doing it when I am up to speaking to someone.

But you are already "speaking to someone"; the officers who are visiting your address and this forum (which isn't confidential!). Victims Support would not necessarily be the right people in your instance; hence posters recommending Womens Aid.

UserName01 wrote: »

... my ex will of told all his friends about the incident and that he has bail conditions ...

That is a huge assumption! Maybe the person who sent the text is not aware of the bail conditions? Very difficult to prove.

UserName01 wrote: »

..... He blocked my car in, got out and punched my car window out - resulting in the glass shattering all over my face...
..... so I phoned again and I asked when someone would be out as I had glass in my eye ...

Just curious: What type of car do you drive? How old is it?

3v3

thorsoak wrote: »

HAVE YOU MADE CONTACT WITH WOMENS' AID YET?

They can give you good support and advice - you don't have to deal with this on your own.

No, she has not.

UserName01_2

3v3 wrote: »

But you are already "speaking to someone"; the officers who are visiting your address and this forum (which isn't confidential!). Victims Support would not necessarily be the right people in your instance; hence posters recommending Womens Aid.


That is a huge assumption! Maybe the person who sent the text is not aware of the bail conditions? Very difficult to prove.


Just curious: What type of car do you drive? How old is it?

It is so easy to speak on a forum, much easier than in person or over the phone. Believe me, it has been difficult reporting this incident to police and actually speaking to them about it otherwise I would have reported all the other incidents.

Why are you curious about the car I drive? Curiosity killed the cat

Yorkie1

Forgot to ask, how did it go at the hospital / eye clinic today?

stormbreaker

UserName01 wrote: »

I already knew about VS and the DV team prior to posting I will not be contacting them right now

I give up! They are best placed to advise,not strangers on an internet forum.

Take care. I hope everything works out well for you in the end.

UserName01_2

Yorkie1 wrote: »

Forgot to ask, how did it go at the hospital / eye clinic today?

I have to go back again tomorrow to see a Doctor this time so hopefully will know why my vision is still blurred

stormbreaker wrote: »

I give up! They are best placed to advise,not strangers on an internet forum.

Take care. I hope everything works out well for you in the end.

Why can you not understand that I do not wish to talk to anyone about this yet. Its so easy to speak to people who don't know you over an internet forum. I have kept this abuse hidden from my own family and friends for two whole years. I have not reported other serious incidents to police so reporting this one has been a big step. I will do things when I feel up to it not when it suits a stranger on a forum but thanks anyways.

Yorkie1

UserName01 wrote: »

I have to go back again tomorrow to see a Doctor this time so hopefully will know why my vision is still blurred

Hope all goes well tomorrow.

Why can you not understand that I do not wish to talk to anyone about this yet. Its so easy to speak to people who don't know you over an internet forum. I have kept this abuse hidden from my own family and friends for two whole years. I have not reported other serious incidents to police so reporting this one has been a big step. I will do things when I feel up to it not when it suits a stranger on a forum but thanks anyways.

I can really understand why this all feels so hard for you, particularly given your experiences so far.

I think the frustration from some people on here is the tension between your complaints at not knowing what's going on, and the refusal (inability) to contact the police to find out what's going on - or anyone else who could help resolve that lack of knowledge (and fight on your behalf in this rather overwhelming situation).

However, what I would say, is that you have now taken the first step in this particular incident, by reporting the assault. It is really really important that you keep the police informed about the injury issues and other evidence mentioned here - or things could be far more difficult further down the line in the prosecution. If you do nothing else, please please update the police on these factual issues.

I am slightly concerned and disappointed by the way the police have assumed that you were equally culpable in the allegation about texting. I am pleased that you did not sign the notebook.

This issue has the potential to cloud the assault case, and for this reason again the advice is to let someone in the police - the DV unit - have the full oversight of the case. Otherwise the risk is that you keep getting dealt with on a piecemeal basis which doesn't help you at all.

If you can find the strength to contact someone, please try to do so.

UserName01_2

Yorkie1 wrote: »

I can really understand why this all feels so hard for you, particularly given your experiences so far.

I think the frustration from some people on here is the tension between your complaints at not knowing what's going on, and the refusal (inability) to contact the police to find out what's going on - or anyone else who could help resolve that lack of knowledge (and fight on your behalf in this rather overwhelming situation).

However, what I would say, is that you have now taken the first step in this particular incident, by reporting the assault. It is really really important that you keep the police informed about the injury issues and other evidence mentioned here - or things could be far more difficult further down the line in the prosecution. If you do nothing else, please please update the police on these factual issues.

I am slightly concerned and disappointed by the way the police have assumed that you were equally culpable in the allegation about texting. I am pleased that you did not sign the notebook.

This issue has the potential to cloud the assault case, and for this reason again the advice is to let someone in the police - the DV unit - have the full oversight of the case. Otherwise the risk is that you keep getting dealt with on a piecemeal basis which doesn't help you at all.

If you can find the strength to contact someone, please try to do so.

It wasn't that I was refusing to contact the Police, I posted here asking if I was being a bit impatient expecting an update so soon after the arrest. Both officers I spoke to yesterday and tonight could not understand why I have not been kept up to date with this case as I should of at least been informed about his bail conditions last Thursday.

I chased this up on Thursday and was told he was arrested. I then chased it up again yesterday when I had an unexpected visit from the police. I have been the one chasing it up as I have not been keep up to date.

The officer I spoke with tonight told me she will contact the officer that is now dealing with the case and get her to ring me for a more detailed update - feel a bit uncomfortable as she is a friend of a friend - knew I recognised the name when I was given her details yesterday. I think that is the worst thing about police working in the same area they live in. She will be able to tell me if he had a hand injury and if he admitted the offence. She said it looks as though he has not said much in the interview so either remained silent or 'no comment'. It will now have to go to court.

I did sign the officers notebook to confirm the officer spoke to me at my address regarding a text sent to his brother which I denied sending. I agreed that I will have no contact with his brother so accepted a warning. If I refused to sign I am not sure what would have happened and I can't be dealing with more stress.