Domestic

Loretta

KILL_BILL wrote: »

you should get a restraining order if you have not already done so.

Not necessary, he has bail conditions not to go near her or contact her, when he goes to Court I expect these conditions will continue. Now we know these are his bail conditions she does not have to wait for him to do something, just coming near her or phoning etc is in breach of his bail conditions and she should phone the police on 999 to report any incident or contact with her and his bail conditions would be withdrawn ie. he would be remanded in custody until his court date, his solicitor will ask for bail again and the prosecution could say no bail as he has broken bail conditions, it is one small step at a time but it sounds as if you are on your way to having some protection now. The brother needs to be told by the police to keep away to or he could end up in trouble too

UserName01_2

I am not ignoring anyones advice regarding help, I am just taking one step at a time. Reporting the incident to the police has been a huge step and obviously the most important one. My friends and family are all asking questions about why I didn't speak to them or report him sooner, they are so shocked of what has happened. It has been so difficult speaking about it but my next step is getting some support from a trained team and possibly counselling.

The letter I received today regarding the court date states they have passed my details to VS and I will receive a call. I have missed a blocked call on my mobile today so it will have either been the Police or VS, I am sure they will call back.

I still can't believe he has pleaded not guilty. I really thought he would of remained silent or said no comment. I still don't know if he had a hand injury which the police noted and took photographs of (which would help with my case) so waiting for an update from the new officer dealing with it.

I am just hoping the courts find him guilty. I would hate to think he got let off with what he has done as he would only do it again.

Mojisola

UserName01 wrote: »

I shake just seeing him and feel sick hearing his name. Don't think I can face him again but going to have to stand up to him or he will do it again.

UserName01 wrote: »

I am not ignoring anyones advice regarding help, I am just taking one step at a time. Reporting the incident to the police has been a huge step and obviously the most important one. My friends and family are all asking questions about why I didn't speak to them or report him sooner, they are so shocked of what has happened. It has been so difficult speaking about it but my next step is getting some support from a trained team and possibly counselling.

No-one who has any experience of DV - whether first-hand or through a friend - will underestimate the courage it takes to start to talk about it. You've started down the route to reclaim your life and throw off the power he has over you but the journey will be easier if you go to the specialists like WA.

Loretta

I will explain what happens, if you phone the police and say xxxx has happened they deal with that one incident, it may be not too serious and they don't pursue it very rigorously, if something else then happens they will deal with that separately too, sometimes they don't link things and if course they won't understand that you do need the reasurance that they have caught him and that he was in custody because then you would have had a good night's sleep knowing you were safe for a while.

Domestic matters are different and more complicated and that is why they are dealt with differently by a specialist unit who have had training and experience of this.These sort of things are never one/offs and maybe each incident on it's own is not that serious more than one or lots of incidents over a long time is very upsetting and wears you down, as well as what has gone before ie. you were together, you took the big step of ending the relationship and then all this has been going on since the relationship ended, I think you said for several months. There is the added complication, if I can call it that, that you were in love with him and had plans and hopes for the future and you are probably thinking that you are in some way to blame for his behaviour or that you could have done something more to make him behave better, this is of course not true but it is a very common thought. The domestic violence team would understand that this situation is more complicated and of course Women's Aid are the experts on all this and if you think the police are not understanding the situation or you don't think the correct people are dealing with it they will help you to understand that and help you to make sure it is handled properly by the right people.

No one is saying you are dealing with it in the wrong way, how would you know how it should be dealt with?

Look after yourself and please speak to Women's Aid they will help you and you cannot deal with this on your own and you don't have to

Fire_Fox

UserName01 wrote: »

He has pleaded not guilty so I have to attend court in Jan to give my evidence. The evidence is my broken window and injurys which were photographed and my medical records from eye infirmary.

I think this is going to be my word against his unless police noted and took photos of any injurys to his hand. I will get advice from witness service before i attend court as they offer emotional and practical support.

Will my ex be present at the magistrates court or am I just going to give my evidence?

Pleased the police have taken you seriously and it is going to court. Definitely get help from the witness service and Victim Support and Women's Aid, see if you can give evidence via a video link or suchlike.

marisco_2

Mojisola wrote: »

No-one who has any experience of DV - whether first-hand or through a friend - will underestimate the courage it takes to start to talk about it. You've started down the route to reclaim your life and throw off the power he has over you but the journey will be easier if you go to the specialists like WA.

I absolutely agree with this. Talking about it and telling those around you that love and care for you what has been happening is an agonising experience. Talking about it means facing up to what has happened and realising the enormity of what you have coped with and gone through. It does get easier over alot of time. Take things at your pace is my advice.

Yorkie1

When you are contacted by the witness care unit or the police, ask about what are called 'special measures'. The prosecution can ask the court to allow you to give evidence in a way which will maximise the quality of your evidence - this can be through video link, or from behind a screen in court. There is no guarantee that the court will grant it, but if you don't ask then nobody will realise that it may help.

At court, you will be able to wait in a separate room from him until your case is called on. The Witness Service will be with you to assist and answer any questions you may have. If you have family or a friend to accompany you, that would also be OK.

He will be in the courtroom for the whole duration of the trial; you will be called in (or give your evidence remotely if a live link is granted) once the prosecutor has told the magistrates a summary of what the case is about.

You will be asked by the prosecutor to tell the court what happened. Then his solicitor will ask you some questions to give you the opportunity to respond to what he says happened (or did not). After that, the prosecutor or magistrates may ask a couple of final questions, but often do not. You are then allowed to leave court.

I would also that expect the police officers from the scene may be witnesses at court. They will give evidence after you, and will not be allowed to be present in court until they are individually called in. Some uncontentious evidence can be 'agreed' so it is read out to the court rather than making the witness attend, so not all witnesses will necessarily be in attendance for this reason.

I would not be surprised if the new officer in the case did not tell you what he said in interview or whether he has a hand injury. That could affect the evidence that you give, so don't take it personally if she refuses to do so.

Presumably the police saw the damage to your car, and there will be the medical evidence about the injury to your eye. This means that some elements of the offence are corroborated - so it's not entirely word against word.

Edit to add: just a reminder to let the police know about any updates to the diagnosis of your eye / how it is healing.

Good luck.

UserName01_2

You all will be pleased to know I have contacted VS.

My eye injury is still not healing so currently on a stronger steroid drop (for the next 14 days) to hopefully bring some of my vision back but 14 days from the incident and it is still no better, infact I think it is worse. I have to return in 2 weeks time so they can check on it again and find out what else they can do if my sight is still no better. It does feel as though there is glass still in my eye so the Dr said they will have to remove my eye as there could be tiny fragments of glass which they have not been able to see.

I am worried about attending court as I am not confident enough to stand up in front of everyone to read out what happened and answer questions. I understand I can have someone attend court with me. VS can also arrange for me to visit the court before the trial and have a volunteer attend with me on the date of the hearing but I don't think anyone can read out my evidence and answer questions for me which is my main worry.

What I don't understand is how they link my ex partner to the crime if he pleads not guilty especially if he did not have a hand injury as there were no other witnesses.

ETA: I have to return the court form stating I will be attending court. I imagine I am given the option to attend or not and if I do not attend the case will still go ahead. I would rather not attend but I am thinking if I don't go, is he more likely to get let off with what he done?

SuzieSue

Didn't his hand bleed when he smashed your window?

UserName01_2

SuzieSue wrote: »

Didn't his hand bleed when he smashed your window?

I would of thought so but I didn't see because it was dark, he drove off immediately and I had the glass shatter in my face so turned my head the opposite way. It did look as though he only used his fist but he could of had a glove on or something in his hand if he had this planned.