I miss Oakdale Minx

Toto

I don't want anyone to think I am complaining about the diaries. I love to read them and often post. I think all of the diaries are super helpful to everyone.

slowlyfading

I don't know what to say really. I love this part of the site, but it seems as if people are disappearing all the time. Not sure I like the phrase dumbed down though, as I'm one of the young ones I guess. I do think that having threads that have nothing to do with DFW are a bit annoying, but there's not much that can be done about that is there?
SF :heartpuls

Little_Miss_Winner

Yeah i agree i have reported about 5-6 in the last week alone!

ZTD

Well my personal take on it, is that this place suffers from a "split-personality", and along a few lines.

First you have a 3 way split...

1. answering technical questions from the newbies
2. providing emotional support to the newbies so they don't do something rash
3. providing emotional support to the regulars - trying to keep them on the rails full time. It's the long haul and it's hard. For some people it will have taken months to pay of their debt. Other people may take a decade or more. It's the "decaders" who need a lot of support.

Then you add into the mix what I can best describe as "Newbies with 'tude", which are a recent addition and are quite a bit of the ingredient of the rudeness.

"I want to do something really stupid and I want you all to agree with me, and to support me."

What do you do then? Ignore them and invite the wrath of "there's unanswered threads on page 4!" Or tell them as diplomatically as possible: "Don't do that - it's stupid" and get the "THIS FORUM IS FOR SUPPORT!" thrown back at you.

There you have the main split - This forum is for "support and help". Some help is not supportative. Some support is not helpful.

There's even more to it, but I'll stop there. Before you stop breathing...

sammy115

Can i just say quietly without causing offence, I find this board a massive source of help and support. I find it the friendliest of all boards. I think it has got friendlier! I just think you can't please everyone all the time and things have a natural cycle. People come and people go. IA - I watch you help people all the time and your diary is an inspiration. I have just found myself wondering whether I have contributed to the youth club issue (far too old actually!) and maybe I should just !!!!!! off.........

But then who would calm me down when I have problems with my son!

Toto

God, oakdale will never come back now! Look what I've done to her thread.

ZTD

Toto wrote: »

I suppose my biggest issue is with the nastiness, some folk do seem to come here just to upset people. And, yes this is a public forum and it isn’t real life. Now I am debt free I can take it all with a pinch of salt and laugh it off. Could I have done that when I was at rock bottom and struggling to get through the day? I doubt it.

Well fortunately the trolls haven't been too thick on the ground for a while. I can't remember the last time I told people to not feed them.

Toto wrote: »

And you are a nice guy Z, we all love you.

And your cheque will be in the post as soon as you put yourself on quidco...

lynzpower

i think some people have misunderstood me - iwanst referring to anyones age when I said youth club ( I certainly dont know peoples ages!) but more the behaviour and nonsense.

thats what the arms is for really, I hang out in there at times, it can be a really good laugh. I dont know why DFW is turning into a mini version of Arms, when theres a really good one already established down the page!

Seaxwyn

It's demoralising for newbies (or relative newbies) to keep reading these 'this board isn't what it was' gripes.

Nothing stays the same. People move on, and someone who's been the life and soul of a forum will stop visiting so much - it's natural. But their places are taken by new people, some of whom will turn out to be just as wonderful.

I find the DFW forum an incredibly friendly and helpful place. I hardly ever see a newbie go unanswered and disappear from the front page - sorry but that's a total fiction. I have seldom witnessed any nastiness, and on the rare occasions I have it's been instantly outweighed by lots of kind and supportive posters.

I do find the 'what shall I have for tea tonight' posts annoying and think that people should explore other areas of the board for those kind of conversations.

ZTD

Toto wrote: »

God, oakdale will never come back now! Look what I've done to her thread.

This isn't her thread - BunnyITL started it...

Breathe easy...