'supporting each other through really tough times'

kidcat

Morning toughies

Ginny hope all goes well today, will be thinking of you

SQ - ((hugs)) I understand entirely

Thank you all for your kind words and thoughts on Sunday, I had a bad night but got up yesterday with a purpose, a friend and her son were coming to dinner so it gave me a focus and pushed everything out of main picture which was really good.
We had a lovely afternoon, dinner went well I think and then a quiet evening, just what was needed

Have woken today and blasted the kitchen which was left with dishes from yesterday - DW had at least six cycles yesterday and there was still loads left!

I am planning of a fairly relaxed day today, and maybe doing a kids movie in the morning at the cinema.

nuttyp

wow we can definatley chank on here!!! I have been away for 2 days and there was over 3 pages to catch up on.

Kidcat and SQ I have exactly the same with OH family. I decided when my girls were little to distant ourselves. OH speaks to his mum, and his brothers but mainly over the phone. I have been told one of his nephews is getting married, and we might have to attend. It gave me a serious bad stomach at even the thought. When me and OH separated during our BR, he met someone else. here is the Jeremy kyle bit ....... she is now married to his brother. Awkward!!!! MIL thinks shes lovely, and makes a point of saying so.

We have big yellow ball in the garden, thank god!!!! Washing is on the line and will hopefully dry nicely.

Well must crack on, lots to do and cant be bothered to do any of it!!!

kidcat

oh nutty that is the height of awkwardness - I would hate that, surely his brother feels like you do too?

jem132

Families are strange things we do not get on with dhs family they hate Me becose he loves me silly but true they think he's all there's very strange.

I was estranged from my mum for many years but now she is my best friend but not my Mum

nuttyp

Kidcat, no his brother doesn't care. They have since had 2 children and ive never met either of them. Im happy in my own life. I try my best to avoid any family confrontation. The last time was at a wedding, even if I do say so myself I looked great. I drank no alcohol and behaved impeccably. I never spoke to them and they didn't to me.

Family hey, sometimes who wants them lol.

monnagran

Afternoon all.

Hilarious nappy stories. I don't think there can be a mother in the world who hasn't got some horrific story to tell. I always get cross with people who tut and shake their heads when they see a child acting in a most inappropriate way or a mother struggling with embarrassment. They obviously have never had children or have forgotten what it's really like.

On the subject of families you may remember that I was trying to distance myself from DS1 who was moving over here. Well, he is desperately trying to re-establish friendly relations with me and rings me up for a friendly chat. Unfortunately I have been burned by friendly chats too often and it usually costs me money, so I am still being cool and terse with him. I wish he would give up and get on with putting his life in order. I love him very much but have been hurt by lies and various other incidents so am protecting myself like mad.

Ah well - worse things happen at sea, as my mother would have said.

x

savingqueen

To: nutty, kidcat, jem, monnagran and anyone else struggling with families - big hugs all round. I wouldn't wish comparable problems on others but it helps me no end to know others understand. I hope in turn I can help by sharing my experiences and genuinely empathising. Thing I find hard is that I didn't see the situation with my side of the family coming for a long while. The other thing that is difficult is that it is both sides of the family, mine and DH's that were have issues with. There is now no-one family wise that we could truely get emotional support (or practical for that matter) from which is sad and a bit scary. My main concern is for our children who adore their collection of grandparents, aunts and uncles and are innocent to the real situation but its becoming more obvious and we will have to tell them. If we don't give reasons they won't understand and will be upset with us, if we do explain, they will know certain family members aren't all they seem to be and that will be upsetting. So it feels loose-loose. However DH and I are excellent at talking with the kids and we will be honest with them without revealing more than they need to know. Sorry didn't mean to go on, its a massive emotional issue for me and DH right now.

Anyhoo, back to lighter things. Finally feel up to making some bread next (haven't made any for more than a week) and need to do a few chores and sort dinner. Boys had a ball at their pottery workshop (unfortunately the speed bumps at the school entrance damaged some of the intricately shaped animals they made ) DS6 coped fine as he had his big brother there so very pleased. Most of the activities are infant/junior segregrated but this one was 5+ so purposely chose it.

I spoke to a parent I didn't know in the collecting kids queue and said we were booked on a family workshop next week and that was all. She has her child booked on things most days. She was incredulous that I found things to do outside of those organised activities! She asked what we did to fill the time, I told her crafts, baking, games, little chores, washing the car. Boys will draw, write, read etc for hours on their own and make up role play games etc. Aways computer/consoles and TV too. Yesterday they researched the origins of April's Fool's Day on the laptop and did a little project (just cut and pasted from goggly searchs but still they researched on their own.) We go to parks/woods/beach, invite friends over to play and anywhere cheap and cheerful like local museums, library, carboots, anywhere different is an experience. Honestly there is so much you can do free or cheaply and I am learning to say no to friends' expensive outings (though we save up for the odd one).

better get on and stop rambling

Peanut2013

SQ that sounds wonderful, I can't wait to do those kind of things with LO I love that they researched April Fools Day, I'm now going to do this as I don't know where it comes from but would love to

It's a beautiful day down south and so today I've done 3 loads of washing (and its all DRY!) which I'm very pleased with! We scrubbed the house yesterday so it's still looking good, lol.

Am just defrosting chicken so we can have chicken fajitas for tea tonight. One of my favourite meals and also not bad on the wallet

Today was lovely. Had leftover chinese for lunch and then went for a nice long walk with a friend from baby group (not on this week due to school holidays) and made me realise with the weather getting better this could be a good opportunity for me to get out more and maybe try and lose some of this baby weight We have some gorgeous walking areas local to me and my mum takes the dogs out daily. So maybe I need to try and get out a few times a week to do a good bit of exercise

Do any mums have tips regarding getting rid of the baby weight? I'm the same size I was at about 25 weeks pregnant and its depressing!!

savingqueen

thanks Peanut . Did kids chicken fajitas for tea too - their favourite but without any salsa or similar. We had leftover roast chicken dinner from Sunday. All happy bunnies!

Today had a lovely spring feel today, light, sunny and windy (also got 2 loads dry on the line) and it really lifted my mood. I feel so different in spring/summer, always wondered if I get a touch of SAD - if its possible to get just a touch that is.

sq:)

Cheapskate

Evening toughies, been MIA for a few days and so there were several pages to catch up on!

Hugs to those with major family issues, ours aren't quite that bad, but bad enough to understand completely. Sometimes I can't bear to talk to certain people, so have not answered the 'phone to them, etc., very childish I know, but sometimes when you're too fragile (mentally) to cope with them it's better! Grown up DD keeps asking the littlies if they want a sleepover at hers, but there's no chance of that - all those issues I alluded to combined with 3 people who smoke inside her house, a dog they don't know, etc - absolute non-starter! :eek:

The snow's finally going here, even had temps above freezing - woohoo! :j Went to a friend's this afternoon, and all our kids played in her garden - playing with the last of the snow (and mud!), so they were black bright but happy when we left.

Been reading all sorts in the press, from all opinions, about people's finances (static/lowering wages, reduced benefits, higher bills etc.), so did a bit of a tot-up of our income V outgoings. We have about £350 a week in, on average, and a weekly average out of about £320 - never worked it like that before! Looks like we're quite poor, and we do feel squeezed most of the time, but never actually "poor" as we each were as kids, or when we first got married! Mustn't be as bad at this OS lark as I thought if we can manage! And that finances 3 adults and 2 small children.

A xo