'supporting each other through really tough times'

mcculloch29

SQ - I hear where you are coming from with the house. I've been on my own and responsible for everything for over 20 years and keeping the house up to scratch was so difficult. It's 50 next year and I've lived in it for 24 years. When I started my current job I finally earned some halfway decent money -still below average wages but I was able to do the long-standing repairs.
I think I spent around £6000 over 2 years and none of it was unnecessary - roof/chimney repairs, (major leaks) a new outhouse flat roof, (major leaks) new fascia boards/guttering, (old ones practically falling off) new wrought iron banisters and landing rails, (old ones lethal) new wrought iron gate, (old one fell off) 2 new floor to ceiling windows (both had broken frames) and a new extra-wide front door (too narrow and wasn't heat-efficient).

So you can imagine what a state the house was in before all those desperately needed repairs were done. But life went on as it does, and I learned to live with it all, as you do. Now that I am impecunious once more I'm so relieved that I did it all, but I would have survived anyway.

nuttyp

Stiltwalker congratualaions, thats one heck of an amount to raise in such a few hours. Your one supermum !!!!!

Re the re letter. no bank card, OH doesnt have a bank account. We both went BR back in 2007, so the OR finished with us a long time ago!! Now OH had son born with a previous girlfriend long before we met. She had the baby adopted at birth, and OH only found out 6 months after she had done so. Now he would be around the 25 yr old, i always wondered if he would come a looking for his dad. OH is adamant its a period he doesnt want to rerun. What if it is???? What if its a hiya dad letter?? I know it sound horrible, but i dont think i could cope if it was.

Right off for a cuppa. x

Peanut2013

Stiltwalker, AMAZING!

Nutty: feeling your pain on that one, big hugs. Do you have to wait till Monday to get it?

JellyBox

Good news stiltwalker, amazing how generous people can be for a good cause!

I've just been trying to go through mine and OH's finances, have tallied our income and expenditure (slightly estimated for points) and discovered that, according to my sums, I have exactly 1p a month not accounted for (the expenditures includes some small savings and stuff), which is absolutely fantastic. OH, however, has nearly £200 not accounted for, even when I give him a personal spend expenditure, which he says he hasn't needed in the last two months. I pay more of the bills and stuff, because he has a loan to pay off, but whenever I talk to him about money, he tries to shut me down because it panics him so much. How am I supposed to sort out our finances BEFORE it gets to be a problem, when he can't/won't talk about it. He takes every loan payment break he can, and keeps trying to get the loan conditions changed so it can drag on even longer, but he seems to have easily enough to pay it each month, and even add some more. I have no problems with taking on more of the household expenditure, but I want his loan gone as quickly as possible, that money could be used for so much more. Hoping what I've managed to say to him will get through, I have asked for every single receipt so I can figure out where it's going.

Blarg. What a ramble, sorry, I just can't say any more about it to him as he looked like he might pass out when I was being positive, let alone if I tried to confront him on the rest of it. I appreciate we're quite lucky, getting by each month generally, although I'm entirely in my overdraft and have had to fall back on bank of M+D too many times, but to talk to him you'd think we were unable to feed or clothe ourselves.

Bigjenny

Nuttyp I came home the other day to one of those red cards, for a signed for letter. Wondered what it was, turned out to be a letter from Renault about a possible problem with the bonnet of my car.

Might be something nice.

Jenny

Peanut2013

Bexim, my OH has a habit of not disclosing his spending. Not in malice but just because he's never really had to think about it before.

I went the 'brave but possibly stupid route' of combining all finances so I can see where every penny goes.

Our biggest issue is his enormous outgoings. I'm on SMP so only bring in £585 a month. He brings home £1000 a month but then has to pay out £550 to CSA, a small loan and his pension. This drops us to a household income of £1050 and our rent is £650!

No wonder were skint!

bluebag

jem 132, so sorry you're having such a hard time. It sounds like a difficult situation.

bluebag

Heartfelt hugs to all those with financial problems, been there and got the t-shirt and no guarantees I won't have problems again. It is beyond stressful.

mcculloch29

Jem, I do hope also that your Mum can help.
I realise that your dyslexia will perhaps make organising things very difficult for you. Somehow it's got to the stage of threatening letters and you now must deal with it.

Exactly the same thing happened some 15 years ago with my daughter. I helped her, but there were extra costs which could have been avoided if she had told me earlier, and I was angry about that. Your mother may feel the same way.

My son got himself into a lot of financial difficulty by helping a girlfriend with her debts that she ran up before they got together.
It is a difficult situation with your DH, but your CT is not his debt. I'm not saying that he shouldn't help you but he is not being totally unreasonable either.
I realise that not everyone will agree with me, but I have seen the pain caused to my son by taking on things that were not his responsibility.

savingqueen

Glad the new job is going well Mrs VP.

Hester - your posts do make me laugh, like your SOH!

Peanut - lots of good news - zoo, monkey sanctuary and concert sorted - lots to look forward to! :j

(((((((Jem))))) - huge hugs to you love. I hope your mum can help out and your OH does something nice for you tomorrow - if that doesn't happen, make sure you have some 'me' time and have a lovely bubble bath and come on here for a chat.

Stiltwalker - brilliant on the fundraising! :j you will have to post a pic of the superdooper buggy when you get it! is there a choice of colour?

back in a bit, got to feed cats and sort dishes - they are creeping along the worktops like some sort of crockery weed!

laters gators, chin up everyone
sq:)