'supporting each other through really tough times'

silvasava

Just coming out of lurkdom to wish SDG & KatieO a big soft fluffy hug - take a deep breath (or 10) & do what YOU feel like doing!
Hugs too to anyone else in need.

Mrs_Veg_Plot

kidkat I am so pleased that you got to see your uncle yesterday as not everyone gets the honor of saying goodbye in person.

katieowl maybe you should let him try to rustle up the meals today and see how he fares

SDG listen to the advice of taking some time to yourself. I know when the blackdog is prowling it is difficult to see the wood for the trees and everyday things can require a hughe amount of effort to complete. I often could not face being out in public and used to get in the car and drive to a quite lane and sit there reading a book and/or having a good cry for an hour or two.

The ex OH and I used to have humdingers of arguments but never threw any food. My specialty after a really big argument was to go and de-tune his 4 guitars. It used to give me a great feeling of satisfaction:D. One of my best moves was the day I came home at lunchtime and found him in the kitchen with his bit on the side:mad:. He had picked her up from town in her lunch break and brought her to our house. I breezed in, told them not to mind me as I was not stopping and left. What they did not know was that I had left with his car keys so that neither of them could get back to work :rotfl:. That night I came home and suggested he went back to his parents for a week or two whilst he decided what he wanted to do. What he did not know that this was just a plan to get him out of the house and I was I was never going to have him back mwah ha ha .
Mr VP had also been in a very argumentative marriage. We tend not to argue much unless it is the dreaded time of the month when I could argue with the world and his wife:o.

[Deleted User]

SHEILA we get frogspawn every year but we have some walloping great goldfish in the pond and they tend to leave the spawn alone but go after the tadpoles. What I've found over the past few years is that the spawn gets killed by late frosts and we've had no froglets at all. On the walk with the lurcher yesterday I counted quite a few plants in flower, primroses, lawn dasies, viburnum, winter jasmine, the first rhodedendron, daffs, snowdrops, crocuses and a few periwinkles and osteospurmums with lots of other things like the camellias big budded and ready to bloom. We are a lot warmer here because of the sheltering effect of the Isle of Wight and have a nice microclimate but that is still lots for early February. How's the ROSIE Puppy getting on these days? Hope she's still enjoying life and cuddles with Mumi on the sofa in front of the fire!

KATE and SDG you have much on your plates at the moment, I can only say look after yourselves and send big HUGS to both of you. Families can forget that you are a person in your own right and not just 'MUM' I don't think it's deliberate, but sometimes a wake up call is needed. That has to be an individual stand taken, only you both know what will get the attention of your nearest and dearest to the point where they will think!!!!! Striking and only looking after yourself for a week is very effective, but needs resolution and turning off of the guilt button to achieve. Good luck, keep us tabbed as to how it's going, Cheers Lyn xxx.

mardatha

My god mrs L what a difference in climate. My snowdrops aren't even out yet.

CRANKY40

Kidcat thinking of you and your uncle and hoping very much that his son makes it back in time.

SDG I second the going out idea. My sister used to go and get herself a takeaway meal and a magazine and sit in the car with them when things got too much at home.

My gran and grandad never argued, not ever. They did come close the day she gave grandad a salad for his evening meal. The plate was piled two inches high and he ate the lot, then stood up and said "That was lovely mum but do we have anything more substantial?" The whole household held their breath. She took his plate off him and snapped that she would make him a jam sandwich, and that was that. We all had the giggles then and had to leave the room. You just didn't question her cooking, but I was allowed to leave the half a tiny slug I once found in my salad.

Yesterday I cleaned my kitchen and made cakes. Today I need to get on and do something with the rest of the house. It's so much nicer sitting here next to the fire though.

[Deleted User]

It is so different MAR, when we lived in Kent it was much cooler than it is here and you had to wait until March to see even primroses, we are very lucky but I suspect you have compensations that I would kill for, views, really fresh air and a really beautiful part of the country to live in, having said that I am very content here and it would take lots to move us anywhere else, Cheers Lyn xxx.

elizabunny

MrsLurcherwalker wrote: »

SHEILA we get frogspawn every year but we have some walloping great goldfish in the pond and they tend to leave the spawn alone but go after the tadpoles. What I've found over the past few years is that the spawn gets killed by late frosts and we've had no froglets at all. On the walk with the lurcher yesterday I counted quite a few plants in flower, primroses, lawn dasies, viburnum, winter jasmine, the first rhodedendron, daffs, snowdrops, crocuses and a few periwinkles and osteospurmums with lots of other things like the camellias big budded and ready to bloom. We are a lot warmer here because of the sheltering effect of the Isle of Wight and have a nice microclimate but that is still lots for early February. How's the ROSIE Puppy getting on these days? Hope she's still enjoying life and cuddles with Mumi on the sofa in front of the fire!

The same thing happened to our frogspawn last year:( We had quite alot and then the cold struck again and it all died. Luckily the adult frogs came back and we managed to get some more which hatched thankfully. We were also lucky enough to have toadspawn and that hatched too, so I think we were really lucky. DH has left the pond pump going all through the winter this year, which has helped to keep part of the surface free from ice even on the coldest nights. SO at least the fish haven't been trapped under the ice with building gases.

I was surprised at how quickly everything is beginning to appear in the garden. The bulbs are now shooting well. Roses bushes are budding as is my precious nectarine tree. Definate signs that spring is on it's way. Unfortunately we have lost the autumn planted broad beans for some reason. Last year they were very sucessful. The autumn planted onions look ok but a little spindly, hopefully they will pick up as the weather warms up.

shegar

LYN and Eliza......Your lucky top have toadspawn, but yes very unlucky last year to lose so much pondlife...:mad:. But we just dont know how the spring breeding season will go cos of the weather being so unpredictable the last few years.........

Nature and wildlife go together , but as many of us are now noticing that the garden is going in the right direction, I know for definate that ive got some great crested newts:D, be so good if they spawn.......

We have a shank of lamb with mint sauce , gravy , and taters and veg for tea tonight , and im quite looking forward to that, although its only 2 pm.......I havent had that in ages, so quite a treat............

Little Rosie is doing fine , thanks, did you see the pics I put up on flickr think it was page 165 on this thread........?

Im so hungry with being outside im gonna have to go into my bubble gum pot and have a good chew til tea time......:D..Absolutely love the stuff, when I buy it in the shops I always say its for the grand children,can:Dt let them know I love it more than the children....ha ha ...Sheila

Possession

(((Hugs))) to everyone having difficulties at the moment - Kidcat I do hope your uncle can see his son and be comfortable, and SDG your family need to give you some 'me' time for sure.
Have been away in Oxford this weekend, and it was shockingly cold yesterday, I thought my cheeks would freeze. I foolishly turned the heating off before we went and it still hasn't warmed the house up yet.

DS is doing a term project on healthy eating for school so I'm going to get him to research some of these food additives and find just what really is healthy food these days. Didn't stop him having 5 mini danish pastries for breakfast and then 2 bags of crisps in the car before I noticed though.

missrlr

SDG31000 wrote: »

Morning all

kidcat I am so glad that you got to see your Uncle. My thoughts are with you and the rest of the family.

Katieowl I know exactly how you feel. I finished work on Friday and had no idea what to make for dinner, so I phoned DH and DS1 and DS2. When asked what they wanted their responses were "I don't know" I was tired and dizzy and fed up, so just came home. I told them that as they didn't know what they wanted to eat and not one of them could be bothered to think of anything they were on their own. Queue them following me into the kitchen when I started making food for myself and my ending up cooking chick pea curry for 4. To say I was fuming at the end of it was an understatement. Like your OH my lot are used to being fed good food and take it for granted, which makes me feel completely unappreciated.

Heavenleigh (Hope I spelt that right) I hope your DS is feeling better and that the headmaster has taken notice.

As I have mentioned before my black dog is very close at hand and I haven't been feeling good at all. We were meant to be going down to visit my DPIL this weekend, but my DSIL isn't well and is staying with them instead. I'm sorry that she is ill and really hope she recovers quickly, but I needed this weekend away. I needed someone else cooking for me or helping me to cook and someone just thinking I looked tired and making me a cup of tea. I know I sound selfish, but I was counting on this to keep going for a while longer. DH cooked me packet tortellini with jarred pasta sauce yesterday lunchtime and DS2 made chinese dumplings for dinner, but he underestimated the number of wrappers in the packet, so I was making and frying turkey spring rolls at 9.30pm. I've come downstairs this morning and the kitchen was chaos. Plates, dishes, paper towels everywhere, the dishwasher hadn't been put on and the washing up was still sitting there. I could sit and cry.
At some point the rest of the family will surface and I'll cook roast chicken for lunch or dinner. I also need to make a birthday cake to take into work tomorrow. I got a silicon flower mould from Lidl yesterday, so might make a cake in that to try it out. I'm not sure what sort yet.

That's enough whining from me.

Take care everyone xxxx

STOP DOING. seriously how are they going to learn and why the blinking heck should they bother?, you just pick it all up and make it right. Path of least resistance is to do nothing, so make this the path of MOST resistance. the house will NOT fall apart if you don't just once. leave written instructions about stuff wot has to be done I.e. cooking and clearing up before departing to beds or specific time and if they fail get water pistol, open bed room doors or wherever they are and squirt liberally until they get up and sort the mess. You will only have to do this once, and you get to laugh at them for the stupidness of the situation. :rotfl:
You cannot keep doing this so don't teach them a lesson in selflessness and get so back up when you need it.