'supporting each other through really tough times'

Softstuff

I'd been sitting stewing over whether to say anything. Generally when there is a ruckus here I keep my mouth shut, but I regretted that once and feel that if I keep my mouth shut or just continue to post as though it hasn't happened then that would be, for me, as bad as if I posted something negative.

I hope you'll forgive me for meddling in your business Pops or making assumptions about you if they're not true, but the posts I've read against you speak differently about you than how I feel about you and I wanted to post my view, which is contrary to those statements.

The way I see it Pops is a decent chap who has cared for his Mother for many years and doesn't have great health. When his mother passed he's been left in a situation where he's suddenly alone. And this is alone in a way many of us haven't been and would hope not to be. As such, he's trying hard to deal with grief and comes here for comfort and supporting chat. He's occupying his time puzzling over diet, curtains or whatnot, because all of a sudden he has a fair bit of time on his hands to do so and felt he was in a safe comfy place where he could vocalise his puzzling. He's maybe overthinking things, because despite having time he has less energy and physical ability to do other things.

Having too much alone time also means he worries and tries as best he can to assuage those worries by preparing for what he fears might happen any way he can. Just like a lot of us do.

When I see criticism of his heating issue, I worry about him being cold. But at the same time, if I was alone suddenly, after a lifetime of not being, I question would I rather spend the money on being toasty and alone at home, or would I rather spend it on a bus and a beer out in some company, whilst wearing a wooly hat indoors.

I appreciate this isn't necessarily how it is Pops, but it's how I've viewed things, but most of all I've thought that it's up to you what you choose to do and whether or not I agree, or whether or not I think you're doing what I would do, I want you still to get the same love and support we all come here for.

mardatha

I don't want WCS to leave either, she had good input on this forum.

ginnyknit

Heavenleigh, hope your little one is ok. sounds scary but I find the paramedics are very kind and reassuring here and that helps a great deal.

Rosie, have a lovely day, oooh I would love to sit at Morecambe bay right now and eat fish and chips, we used to do that regularly even if it was blowing a gale :rotfl: I always find it re-charges my batteries.

Off out to the shops in a minute to stock up on essentials as I dont seem to be getting out much with OH's poorlyness.

Hope everyone has a better day today hugs xx

Dd bought her cats a play tower and DGS immeadiately moved his little chair upto it and refused to eat his meals anywhere else for a week I even had to amke a little tablecloth for it in case the cats actually used it and there was any fluff on it. Happily he is now back to using his table!

Popperwell

Sorry to wake up to hear of your difficult night Heavenleigh and hope all is well now. Frightening at the best of times but in the early hours even worse.

Sorry to see that last nights spat has continued and more was said...I'm not going to go on but just say "It's not a game" "nor "am I after sympathy" and "deliberately suffering" I never saw it that way.

I have no idea what was said either.

More happy and as positive as I am able to be so pity to have this happen. And obviously more said. I will continue to treat all with respect.

Never mind...

Slept well, reasonably warm and this may annoy some...I fixed up an electric blanket(at last)so being frugal and spending carefully has paid off. And yes, have used the CH too...

VJsmum

Softstuff wrote: »

I'd been sitting stewing over whether to say anything. Generally when there is a ruckus here I keep my mouth shut, but I regretted that once and feel that if I keep my mouth shut or just continue to post as though it hasn't happened then that would be, for me, as bad as if I posted something negative.

I hope you'll forgive me for meddling in your business Pops or making assumptions about you if they're not true, but the posts I've read against you speak differently about you than how I feel about you and I wanted to post my view, which is contrary to those statements.

The way I see it Pops is a decent chap who has cared for his Mother for many years and doesn't have great health. When his mother passed he's been left in a situation where he's suddenly alone. And this is alone in a way many of us haven't been and would hope not to be. As such, he's trying hard to deal with grief and comes here for comfort and supporting chat. He's occupying his time puzzling over diet, curtains or whatnot, because all of a sudden he has a fair bit of time on his hands to do so and felt he was in a safe comfy place where he could vocalise his puzzling. He's maybe overthinking things, because despite having time he has less energy and physical ability to do other things.

Having too much alone time also means he worries and tries as best he can to assuage those worries by preparing for what he fears might happen any way he can. Just like a lot of us do.

When I see criticism of his heating issue, I worry about him being cold. But at the same time, if I was alone suddenly, after a lifetime of not being, I question would I rather spend the money on being toasty and alone at home, or would I rather spend it on a bus and a beer out in some company, whilst wearing a wooly hat indoors.

I appreciate this isn't necessarily how it is Pops, but it's how I've viewed things, but most of all I've thought that it's up to you what you choose to do and whether or not I agree, or whether or not I think you're doing what I would do, I want you still to get the same love and support we all come here for.

Thank you :T

westcoastscot

Softstuff thankyou for your post, i'm sure your feelings are mirrored by others. As I said earlier i'm happy to go with the majority vote, and don't want to bring down the thread, however sometimes you "meet" someone in life who you find so offensive you just have to speak up and/or walk away.
I work with people who struggle with life and have some comprehension of the challenges they face. I stand by my posts.
I have personally had much valued support from the thread, and respect the majority of it's members too highly to want to stay and cause discord, but neither did I want to walk away without an explanation.
WCS

mardatha

I think the title says it all. Support. For each of us to take as much as we need and give as much as we can.
WCS you put a lot into this thread so you can't leave. End of. LOL I 'll go into a decline and possibly go off sweeties! :eek::eek:

maryb

WCS please don't go. We can have different opinions, it's not obligatory to all see things the same way, as long as we keep it civil. That way we can say things that we feel need to be said and then move on - together!

jem132

I am starting to feel uncomfortable been on this thread with people arguing. Every one has a right to say what they think about things. Some people are childish I would rather not been a part of that, after the last spat I decided I would not use the thanks button as much witch made me feel bad as I don't always post but liked to thank people after reading a helpfully or interesting post. I shall no longer post on this board you have all been I great help to me so thanks for that love and good wishes to all.

craigywv

POPS ...paperman was lovely really good....your pm box full ...as usual have tried 3 times in 2 days sort it out man lol