'supporting each other through really tough times'

katieowl_2

There are definite advantages to being batty!!!

I just spoke to my mate with mental health problems who is about to be made homeless, and I had the fantastic news that she's now 'in the system' which means that she has a place at a day centre, and is getting proper support with loosing the house. She's now classified as a vunerable adult, so the council should have a duty to find her some suitable accomodation. It's fantastic news as she should not now be allowed to fall between the cracks, they are feeding her at the day centre, her neighbours are helping too, and she's been given a bus pass to get to the day centre so she doesn't need to find fares.

I managed to get around a portion of the dogs usual walk with DS. I'm as stiff as a board, and heading for a hot bath soon. I over did it today, as I also hit Mr T. I wanted to cash in my clubcard voucher for 'finest' wines as the offer ends soon. DS and I decided it was our best quids in option. They had a few bottles for a fiver, and the 6 bottles for 25% offer was running too - you had to make sure that your wine was over the voucher amount including the 25% IYSWIM so for my £30's worth of vouchers I got eight bottles of wine, cost me nothing but my vouchers.

Also bagged a bargain, they'd got some sealed 1k pots of diced feta cheese (deli stuff) good until May next year....£6.20 each. I bought two, love Feta, and this is goat and sheep - so DD can eat it as well.

Kate

Mrs_Veg_Plot

Have gone back to taking soup to work for lunch as I need something warm mid day in the winter. Instead of my usual non breakable metal flask I used a traditional glass one that I found in the back of the cupboard. I filled it with boiling water to warm it and clean it and then filled it with the hot soup. This was at 6.30am. The proverbial hit the fan at work today and I not only ended up working late but sat down for my lunch at 5pm it was still piping hot. The metal flask kept it warm until lunch time but no longer.

Mr VP had a phone interview today for a cold calling job in Liverpool but does not think he will progress to the next stage they said he was overqualified, We have got our finger crossed though as you never know. It is not a job he wants to do but it is a job.

VJsmum

mardatha wrote: »

VJs mum - can you tell us any more about what was in your trade paper? And yes, wait till April then things will suddenly jump down a level for many folk.
Re bickering and snits on forums, I stay out of it and ignore it. One of the great things about being batty is that yer memory goes and you forget who yer not talking to LOL

I work in the Construction industry (albeit in the education side now) and try to keep up to date through trade literature. COnstruction is a good indicator of recession as it is always "first in last out". In order to build, people need confidence that they can afford to tie their money up for such a long time - it's one reason why the Government is always so interested in construction, that and the fact that we keep the infrastructure going (roads etc as well as hospitals and prisons for eg.). The government are desperate for investment in housing in particular - partly cos there is a need and partly to put some money back into the economy to get things moving again. The quote just resonated with me and I read it as that things will not get better any time soon so we'd better start getting used to it.

monnagran

Mar: Not only advantages to being batty. Senility is quite useful too. And gives the family and friends much uncalled for amusement. My son picked me up on Sunday to take me to his house for lunch. As we drew up I could see his work van but no car. I knew my DIL must be there as she was cooking lunch. "Where is your car?" I enquired. Stunned silence. "Mother. You're sitting in it." It'll take a while to live that down.

Good advice: I am freshly horrified at your situation. I do think that you could point out to your children that while they are living in YOUR house you own everything, including the air they breathe. If you allow them to stay there, they are responsible for an equitable contribution to ALL the living expenses. They are only there under your permission, which can be withdrawn at any time. YOU are the one that sets the boundaries, not them. YOU are the one who decides what they must pay, not them. I do know it's difficult when they are your children whom you love and have cared for and been responsible for all their lives, but they are not dependent children now, they are adults, and adults who are still being allowed to act like sulky children.

Phew. What a rant, and really none of my business but I feel so for you. I'm sorry for being bossy and interfering. I'm sure you can sort it out with your OH's help.
I'll go away now before someone quite rightly has a go at me!

x

EstherH

Hi, I haven't posted for ages and wasnt sure whether I should after all that's been said tonight. I love reading the tough threads and try to keep up. I use to post a little on some earlier ones. The reason I decided to say something was because I don't think children learn to budget for the real world if they don't pay enough towards their keep at home. Also, once they are grown up we aren't obligated to keep them. One of my grown up children was not living as I expected and I told them that they either respected the house rules or found their own place. It broke my heart at the time but we helped them find a flat and bought a few starter things to help them begin, but not too much that it would defeat the object. Result is that we now have a much better relationship. Other grown up child has been out of work most of the year, still lives at home and as they had savings, has been paying the same amount of keep as they did before. We talked about reducing it or not taking any but adult child insisted that while they could they would. So £250 a month without an income. It might seem impossible to tell your child to leave but if they are not willing to contribute a reasonable amount to the household budget, expect you to do laundry, cook etc., then they aren't respecting you and you are doing them a favour to put them out into the real world.
Hope you don't mind the post and sorry it's so long.

Esther x

meme30

Monnagran:- Love it! I'm so pleased that it's not just me that opens my mouth and leaves the family twirling their fingers against their heads!

Once again the thread has been disrupted by bickering.
Those of you bristling with your self-righteous indignation are just going to have to get over yourselves!
Those of you who have been pm'ing each other to say who you support please take a good look at what you are doing. Either you are too scared to say openly for fear of offending the usual posters or you will not openly take your sides because you know you are behaving like a bunch of kids!
You are not the most important people here! This is not your own private little world.
If you still have no sense of what I am talking about then shame on you! I have just had to read people's posts where they are apologising for daring to post. They think they are intruding!
This thread is for supporting people, anyone at all. There are many here who just need a little extra window in their world just to keep themselves going. People with real hard lives, genuine worries, who's RL world is crushing them.
Surely you can see that in the scheme of things your schoolyard squabbles are so paltry and irrelevant and they only emphasis the distance you have put between this thread and it's real purpose.
For God's sake people people get a grip!

fuddle

It's not quite like that for me meme. I have followed users of old for a long time. I can sense that there is bad feeling and I wanted to know why. Meme, someone was unjustly rude. The rude person was breaking the rules and turned on the poster daring to suggest please don't do it.

Look this thread is full of lovely people. This board is full of lovely people. I cannot, no matter how hard I try, keep every body happy and yes I will admit that I dare not thank the old toughies in case I upset the current ones... why? What has happened?

I'm taking a break because the atmosphere on here is really bad. I feel in the middle, can see everyone's point of view but sadly not everyone can see others. I want to keep everybody happy and I would like the tough thread back of old. Non of that is going to happen sadly.

Pooky

Morning all

I spoke to soon last night and the heating timer conked out again.....I'm loath to get it replaced, it's not an essential. We knew when we moved in that we needed to replace the boiler and all the rads at some point and put the money aside but I'm not going to start down that road until the boiler is dreaded deaded.

DD1s birthday today, she has her 1st driving lesson at 10am and its pay day for her, she's so excited!

Talking of payday - kids paying "keep" my DD works 8 hours per week and she gives us half of her wage, we pop half of that into a savings account for her and the other half comes to us for "keep". No matter how much she earns, this is our house rule, 1/4 of your income into the family pot and 1/4 into savings. The 1/4 into the family pot is to go towards everything required for living here as we currently have it set. I.e. it helps towards mortgage/utilities/insurance/food. If there's anything specific she wants food wise then she can buy it. The same with basic toiletries, I supply what we all user in a basic form, soap, shampoo, deo etc but if she wants a particular brand/smell/colour then it's up to her to provide it.

Whilst she still think sits very unfair to hand over a portion of her pay packet each month she does understand why she's doing it and she's now beginning to see the savings account add up.

Our house, our rules, both DDs were made aware that this is how it works in this house and if they don't like it then they will have to find somewhere else to live.

I'm really quite shocked that adult kids could show so little respect to their parents in giving such a small amount of "keep" each month but if they've been allowed to get away with it then changing it now isn't going to be easy. Sitting them down with all the Household income and expenditure and a list of what their contributions are to cover is the way forward. Get it clear that in order to cover everything they need to pay a certain % of their income to the "pot". If they're not willing to go along with this then it's time for the big wide world to show them just how cushy they had it at home.

[Deleted User]

I have been going batty for a while, well I decided after I reached 55 that I would keep saying daft things. Next step is the os economical swept up hair with a bun thing on top, like Hannah Hauxwell whom I admire so much. I am cancelling my haircut appointment next week and am going for it. Never had long hair so I`ll have to learn to cope with it but never too old, say I

Mrs chip had a really good point about the thanks button and I do agree with her. I am on forums where there is no thanks button and you cannot then get a cluster of people in a `gang`. I am also opting out of the thanks button, although that is difficult and my pm has been switched off for months

Dh was a structural engineer and he is cross that those people in whitby were stopped from getting possessions. He said one house at a time with people listening would have been ok and what about the workmen going in and out of the back and those at the bottom of the rift, who could be squashed in a landslip. He says that it is elf and safety madness not letting people quietly slip back for their things. I bet they never even had time to get their papers

Off to see dd today and will be busy getting a few useful bits together for her, a bit here and a bit there it all helps them

I had a useful order from AF yesterday, quite a few allison bread mixes which I have managed to squash into storage boxes. I never used them previously but they do plug the bread gap when you cannot be bothered making from scratch. I used one in the bm, on the rapid setting and the loaf is nice and quite large, good for 50p

edit: just want to add that wine making is a brilliant and easy hobby. The equipment is cheap and re-useable and my last two lots were just parsnip plus a grape concentrate from wilkos. Must be less than 50p a bottle and already tastes very good indeed. A kit is quicker and would be ready for christmas

another edit: cayenne pepper is def helping circulation. No white fingers yesterday, although freezing wet hands under gardening gloves and dh commented on his legs feeling better when on the turbo. I find the loose powder hard but recently started taking one capsule a day and can feel the warmth in my gullet. Am taking some to dh as she gets white fingers too

sevenup01

Good morning everyone! I had a lovely day visiting my friend yesterday and cuddling her baby, then went shopping in the evening with my eldest daughter. I bought a storytelling bear in Mr m's for my youngest as her last christmas gift - it reads The NIght Before Christmas and is so cute! Eldest and i stood there with huge grins all over our faces listening to it before 2 of them fell into the trolley:rotfl:
GoodAdvice - i think you said your children dont actually speak to you and give their housekeeping to your husband? Could you not get him to talk to them about the need to pay a more realistic amount? From what you have said (and i could be wrong here and if so i am sorry) it sounds like they may listen to and possibly respect him more and therefore be more willing to cough up if he asks them too. An idea anyway that i havnt seen anyone else suggest.