'supporting each other through really tough times'

Popperwell

Its too easy to say things really can settle down and look different the following day(and some work has been involved)but its looking good.

A new start. The vicar when Mum and Dad married only had one piece of advice..."Never go to bed on an argument!" And a relative once said similar when they went to work as no one knows what the day holds and if anything was to happen how much worse it would be if the last words or actions were hurtful.

maryb

GreyQueen, my DH complains he's an internet widower - I spend FAR too long sat at a screen - several hours a day.

But when I was working, and before I had my cataracts done, so I was primarily short sighted,my prescription was for distance, reading AND computer work. Because I needed a different strength for middle distance screen work, my employer had to make a contribution of £50. This was supposedly the amount you could get a pair of glasses for with that specific prescription assuming you used them only for screen work. As I actually had varifocals it didn't make much of a dent in the cost but it was better than nothing. You only get it if your optician confirms you need a prescription which is different from your distance and/or reading prescription - you are expected to provide that for yourself

RAS

nuttyp wrote: »

hi everyone, well DD came this morning and had a chat with her dad (he rang in sick to work this morning) Both got to say their sides of the discussion, and she did say she hasn't appreciated everything. She also said she didn't realise how much we had spent, and when all added up its quite a lot!! It was mutually agreed that from now on no financial help will be given. She then went to her fianc!s work place and he returned with her so speak to my OH. I was in bed with a migraine, and its still here now. He appologised profoundly and said he had been to harsh In what he said. OH apologised too but has said they are now on their own 2 feet, as they say.

Youngest DD has gone to her boyfriends house for tea, she said to her sister that we did too much for them. SO maybe things will be better, who knows. I just wish we hadn't all argued like we did, as its never nice to have happen.

Take care everyone, im off back to bed for a rest.

nuttyp

I am glad that things are working their way through. I suspect that it is not just your mum who has suggested that their expectations are unreasonable.

Remember it is the job of a parent to prepare their children to live independently in the big wild world and if you are subbing both DD and her partner, the two of them are not learning to live as adults. Hopefully his folks are equally sensible.

There were a couple of times when my mother wanted to help (like when I was broke and she felt my sister really needed a sisterly visit) but I have walked miles and eaten very little at sometimes rather than ask for support. It does not do one any harm in the short or long term.

Now be strong and do not let the back sliding happen. You and OH need to now make plans for how you look after yourselves.

fuddle

Good post RAS, I like how you put it that it is a parents duty to cut the financial bail outs. I'll remember that one because although I won't be soft with the cash with my two, endevour to teach them well about money, I will be soft if they appear to 'suffer'. Cotton wool effect into adulthood no doubt.

Welcome bunbun2 how do you feel about the change in your lives? Stereotypical images are popping into my head about vicar's wives and everything OS and I like 'em will it mean you have to leave Co. Durham?

[Deleted User]

NUTTY I am so pleased for you and your OH that DD and her Fiance have both offered olive branches and that both sides of the discussion were listened to and acted on, it's a much nicer place for you to be, and lovely that your younger DD is pro her Mum and Dad and has spoken out in your support. I know it's a shame that these differences occur, but it sounds as though your DD and her OH will have a different take on the realtionship with you and your OH and that there will be much more mutual respect in the relationship for all of you, it is the first step to independence and will serve them both well in the future. I'm sorry that the stress has given you such a horrible Migraine and hope that goes very soon, and that you feel much happier for the sorting out that has been done, then you can smile again, hugs little one, Cheers Lyn xxx.

kezlou

Well had another lovely day with fuddle, honestly i don't where the time went! the red shoes are lush though
She had me in stitches, looked around a vintage shops and eyed up a few dresses. The oldy worldy tea shop is definitely a plan, we walked in and all the candles were lit

bunbun welcome to the thread!

nutty - glad to see if you had a chat with your DD and her fiance. I hate it when families argue.
Saying that in my family i'm the one who everyone asks for the money! Makes me angry, my bio mum and the rest come to me really :mad: me off.

lynn give docky a stroke for us x


Just got back from visiting my great aunt, oh and what a carry on. She was a knockout as usual, yep fuddle she was at it again. Swearing her head off and torturing everyone.
Well because she's all chatty now the doctor thinks they may have mis-diagnosed her. By now she should be asleep and getting ready to pass over.
Because she has cancer they automatically assumed it was that, but they think she now could be recovering from pneumonia or maybe an outside chance of a stroke. Were all fuming for her. She's kicking off saying no more tablets, she doesn't like them. so now they still waiting for the doc to call and leaving her with no meds so they can get more answers from her. Its an absolute disgrace.
She asked if i had been over the cemetery, its my adoptive mums 10th anniversary of her death. so her memories still there, just heartbreaking.Her kids heads are battered.

Right just put the turkey leg on, so going to peel some spuds for roasties and catch up in a bit.

Popperwell

As the evening arrives many problems seem to be lighter, may it continue...

If(and I mean if)there had been space in the fridge/freezer what a haul of fish and meat could have been purchased today yellow stickered.

I did buy more fruit whilst able, its good for me. Came home and thought...why do a salad roll, when I can do a salad with a wholemeal roll.

Added a few more ingredients than I usually do(celery and beetroot)along with danish blue cheese, egg, a whole container of baby tomatoes, what remained of some thin sliced turkey, mixed leaf lettuce and spinach, spring onions, cucumber. I guess the only thing missing was potatoes in some form or another...

BTW if you like Jersey potatoes Tesco's are finally selling them at half price.

It's lucky that I don't seem to tire of salads.

I missed Dochy being scared of the thunder(Mum's Sister)who passed away the year before Mum used to go and hide in a cupboard when thunder started.

[Deleted User]

Thanks KEZ consider him stroked, in return he seindzis yew an yer Grate Anty ver biggist SSLLUUUUURRRRPPPPPPPSSSSSSSSIIIIIZZZZZZ vat hey kann manige tew dew, wiva lotta luv aswel anna lotta XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXziz wivvem!!! Wiv luv frum yer frend Docky xxxxxxxxx.

POPS he sendsiz yew er SSLLUUUURRRPPPPPSIZ tew few finkin bout hym!!!!!

PRINCESSX87

Popperwell
Your salad sounded so lovely until you said blue cheese! :eek::D

I'm a huge cheese lover, But, my taste buds really hates blue cheese!!
This evening, Is the first evening in over 2 weeks that has been dry for more than a couple of hours!

And i just walked out to spot my potted rose bush has finally produced some lush pink roses!

Now can i call myself an expert gardener? :rotfl::rotfl:

jpscloud

I feel a bit abashed - if it weren't for my parents' help I wouldn't have a house or a car. I do a lot for them, they're elderly and increasingly frail, so I do lifting/gardening/odd jobbing and am often on hospital/appointment duty - I also stand in as Dad's carer when they're let down. But I don't do these things so they will help me, I do it because I love them.

I guess compared to some the help I've had is very small but mum and dad aren't rich, so it means the world to me that they helped me.

The thing is, I don't think it's cut and dried - it is lovely of parents to help if they can, and if it's given and accepted with grace. If someone is taking it for granted, I quite agree... give them a wake up call - but please don't be harsh on those who have accepted help and are very very grateful for it.

Edit: I just realised I sound a bit whiney Sorry.