If you were me would you have another baby?

dianadors

Hi Black Saturn - just wanted to say hi and hope you are ok. I didnt want to comment earlier as to whether you should or should not have another baby, as it really is a very personal choice, but now you have decided not to, i'll say my piece. I think having a baby with someone you love is a lovely romantic notion(and I did this) but the reality of babies is anything but romantic. You seem to have an awful lot of really good things in your life now BS. Sit back and enjoy yourself. Best wishes and good luck for your future. xx

Js_Other_Half

Take care of yourself over the next few weeks - as others have said , your hormones will be a bit up and down.

kent_lady

Hi BS, coming into this thread slightly late but wanted to say that I was in the same situation as you 6 years ago. I have 2 DSs from my first marriage, my current OH (10 years older than me) has no kids. We talked about having a baby but realised that it wasn't the right thing to do for many reasons - finances, work, age gap etc. Also - we both would have wanted a girl and if we had gone ahead and I had had another boy there is no way I would have gone thru a 4th pregnancy! :eek:

At the time I was sad but now when I see friends with babies/toddlers saying how hard things are (although they love them to bits) I know we made the right decision.

The DSs also see their Dad on a regular basis which gives DH and I quality time together.

So sorry about your miscarriage but as you say, maybe the universe was making the decision for you?

Take care and enjoy your freedom.
xx

spoilt_BUT_appreciate_it

donny_osmonds_mad_fan wrote: »

oooo thought of another reason....having a young child/baby is a totally fabulous way to put the other children off having babies young themselves lol, it gives them the experience without it being their problem so to speak, they can see the hardwork and pain/suffering/swollen ankles/throwing up morning noon and blinking night lol...

my mum having eight children certainly put me off... we only have the one:j

AnnieH

B-S, I send my warmest wishes to you ans I'm sorry about the miscarriage.

When I met my husband, we were the tightest, most loving couple there ever had been. We each had 2 kids from previous relationships, and they got on great. We decided to have a baby between us, and I can understand what you say about having a baby with someone who loves you as my ex was very abusive towards me (I got my first black eye when I was pregnant with DD1)

However, the reality of it has not been all plain sailing. Since the baby was born, his ex has been so jealous and tried to split us up left and right. She very nearly succeeded. It has been such a strain, not because of the baby, but because of everything that has happened since he arrived.

We are sadly no longer the best couple, and I often look back and wonder if we did the right thing having the baby (not that I'd be without him for a second now)

black-saturn

Thanks for the replies.

oops_a_daisy

sorry to hear about the mis carriage Black Saturn - even though you didnt know about it you must let your body recouperate ( spelling ? ) even with 2 others to worry about - Mummy needs time (((((HUGS)))))

arlybarly

i am the same age as you (38) with 2 kids 12 and 14 and now they are older i have got my life back as they have got more independant. i had an older mom and dad they are now 75 and 78 and i was very jealous of other kids who had younger moms and dads and i felt i missed out a lot cause of their age, if u already have kids and he does also then id stick with that