If you were me would you have another baby?

black-saturn

I am getting married next year. I already have 2 children from a previous relationship who will be 14 and 12 by the time the wedding comes. My husband to be already has one child from a previous relationship who will be 18 by the time the wedding comes. I will be 38 and he will be 43. We can't make our mind up whether to enjoy our growing freedom or whether to have another one. When I was pregnant last time and the time before that I was with a man who didn't care and made me feel totally repulsive and dirty. He wasn't even there at the birth, he just dropped me off in the car park over the road from the hospital when I was in labour. It must be so nice to have children with someone who genuinely loves you.

Of course I will still make my own mind up no matter what you all say but i wanted to hear all your views.

tango

I would be tempted...but would have to say no,enjoy your new found freedom,and the love you have found with your new man,all the best Black Saturn;)

slscarborough

I too had a decision like this to make when I met my partner. He didnt have any children and my son was already eleven and was just becoming independant. I was so dead set against having any more children but I changed my mind and I am so glad I did. I now have a 6month old and a 12 year old and wouldnt change it for the world!!

Psykicpup

But you do have children with someone who loves you! 3 I counted!

No. dont have more - unless you both REALLY want to of course - your children are just getting to the best ages (mind you I've said that the best age is what ever age my kids are since they were born lol)

congrats by the way BS

Bambywamby

My first partner dumped me when I was 4 months pregnant... he made me hate being pregnant ... I felt so lonely, vulnerable and scared that I associated pregnancy with being in a position of such vulnerabilty that I would never do it again.
I was 19 and only had my mum & nana to help me. (thankfully...bless em)

I am now 35 and with a different partner... and we are considering having a child. He is very kind & generous with solid morals and a lovely family man. However it has taken five years of being together for me to actually trust him enough to consider having another child and opening myself up to that vulnerability.
And I can say I no longer actually dread the thought of being pregnant but see it as a beautiful and natural thing that should be celebrated.

I would say go for it, you're older and wiser now.

Good luck x

Becles

I had to decide this. I've got a 10 and 8 year old from my previous marriage, but married again last year. Although hubby is a brilliant Dad to my two (ex doesn't see them regular), he desperately wanted one of his own so he could experience the whole thing from pregnancy onwards.

The bits the worry me most are that I'm used to my two being fairly independant - they make their own breakfasts and help themselves to drinks, they get washed and dressed, just go to bed at bed time and so on. It's going to be very strange having a little one demanding to be fed, toileted, and generally looked after!

It's also harder on your body the older you get. I was 20 and 22 when I was expecting the boys, and pregnancy was a doddle. I'm 31 this time, and found it more of a struggle. I get tired more, and I've had a few complications like SPD and at the moment my ankles and feet are so swollen that I don't fit into any of my shoes

On the other hand, I'm really excited about having a tiny baby again. I'm looking forward to the breast feeding, the "firsts", teaching the baby things and all the positive things that go with a baby. Hubby loves feeling the baby kick. She always has a mad kicking session the minute I get into bed, and it's a really special time when we are cuddled up and he's getting kicked as well

Zara33

Enjoy your freedom and your family that you have

PoochyChoo

you get one life.

think about you in 10 years, will you look back at this moment and say 'i wish i had had a baby then' if so. do it, you can never go back and do it again, and unfortunatly babys are only on offer (LOL) for a certain period of your life...

have a good think. and if you want to. do it.

Elliesmum

Go for it! My friend was in a similar situation to you and had another one (to be fair it was an accident........) She wouldn't swap for the world and in fact the 3rd child (and partner) has totally changed her view on life in general (for the better I may add).

I had my LO when I was 36 and was considered an old Mum - but I didn't care, if you love you new freedom so much then maybe you should give it some thought. But as you know babies do not stay babies for long and you'll soon have some freedom back for you to enjoy time with your family.

Good luck in your decision.

EM xx

Spendless

If it was me I know I'd be looking from the angle, have we got a big enough house for 3, and if not can we afford one. But it's entirely up to you what you decide. Good luck. :beer:

alyth

Can you imagine having a baby in your life - I mean by that, when I was trying to decide whether I should have children, someone told me to imagine doing the things that I do at the moment, then imagine doing them with a baby in tow - worked for me as I'm now resolutely child-free!