13 yr old daughter dating a 17yr old

lostinrates

Lotus-eater wrote: »

The honest answer is, I don't know. Maybe not at a much younger age. Certainly around then, I knew I was interested, but it was confusing.

Being interested in sex early runs in me and my siblings, so I fully expect my kids to do it too. My DD is 9 and gets answered pretty honestly by me, any questions she may have.

Some kids are interested very early and some aren't.

I don't think it's that unusual, I was interested (but curious rather than particpiatarily curious) and dh remembers feeling interested even younger than that.

I was very aware of the act of sex, from education at home, not school, and because we had breeding animals, so I knew the mechanics. Dh was not taught anything either at school (different country) or at home (not discussed ever, not even once). We both have managed to have ok sex lives, I think the key to that is not the sex education we received but the social and personal responsibilty education in ALL AREAS of life, discipline, extra curriculars, aspirations etc etc.

However, I would teach a kid the mechanics along side that 'social and emotional' education.

poold

thehappybutterfly wrote: »

I find that disturbing. Kids should be interested in toys, and cartoons, and comic books, and playing games at that age. Not getting curious about what is an adult activity. Which can be painful, emotionally and physically, and best left until they're emotionally ready to commit their body and most intimate feelings to someone else.

I don't mean to burst your bubble here but it's perfectly normal for Children to be interested in sex, their own and others bodies. We are not talking about sexual activity here but an interest.

Your opinion is backward and dangerous. With holding education is the worst thing you can do if you want to lower STI's, teen pregnancy rates and raise confidence and safety.

mumps

Mojisola wrote: »

If you look at the quote - "In the United Kingdom, the Sexual Offences Act 2000 prohibits a person in a position of trust from having sexual acts with someone who cannot consent which include minors and "very vulnerable people".[1] This is primarily used for the protection of young people who are above the age of consent but under the age of 18, or those with mental disabilities."

He is under the age of 18 as well and he really isn't in a position of trust he is a kid who goes to cadets.

mumps

thehappybutterfly wrote: »

To me it doesn't matter if a 13 year old girl 'consents' to s e x with an older boy/man. It's statutory rape. The age of consent is 16 for a reason - any younger and they don't have the maturity to make a decision like that. Regardless of how mature we as parents or they themselves think they are. They're children at the end of the day.

I AM old fashioned and proud of it. I'm only in my early 40's, I'm outgoing, fun-lovin' and don't act my age but I do have strong morals and I'm dismayed at the casual attitude many people have towards sexual activity. Kids are starting far too young, doing it with too many people and not taking any responsibility for contraception. I really worry for some of these kids.

It would be classed as statutory rape in some countries. I think this is in the UK so would be USI, unlawful sexual intercourse, but of course we don't know if intercourse took place. The OP certainly didn't mention it.

bonjovibel_729

just to update spoken to senior officer at cadets and she has seen the messages on facebook he has sent her admitting it and the boy has been put on probation for three mnths and he is to have no contact with my daughter

Torry_Quine

bonjovibel_729 wrote: »

just to update spoken to senior officer at cadets and she has seen the messages on facebook he has sent her admitting it and the boy has been put on probation for three mnths and he is to have no contact with my daughter

That's good to hear.

POPPYOSCAR

bonjovibel_729 wrote: »

just to update spoken to senior officer at cadets and she has seen the messages on facebook he has sent her admitting it and the boy has been put on probation for three mnths and he is to have no contact with my daughter

I think that is a fair result.

How is your daughter now, does anyone else know at cadets?

Hopefully she will not feel awkward being there.

Lotus-eater

lostinrates wrote: »

I don't think it's that unusual, I was interested (but curious rather than particpiatarily curious) and dh remembers feeling interested even younger than that.

I started having very interesting dreams, or daydreams (I'm not sure I remember) from very early on. I think from maybe about 7 or 8 (but I could be wrong).

They were interesting, because they are still viable today. My sexual preferences still follow the same thoughts.

Thinking about it, my DD shows none of the signs that were there for myself, she knows all the mechanics anyway, as you say, she's been brought up in the country with animals all around to see what's going on and I've never hidden anything from her.
None of this "the daddy horse and the mummy horse love each other very much and decide to have a baby", she knows about studs and AI, about how AI sperm is collected (indeed we had a good laugh about that one ).
Maybe because she knows, the fascination is taken away. I'm sure she has been busy educating her classmates, but we haven't had any complaints yet. LOL

Lotus-eater

bonjovibel_729 wrote: »

just to update spoken to senior officer at cadets and she has seen the messages on facebook he has sent her admitting it and the boy has been put on probation for three mnths and he is to have no contact with my daughter

At the very least, it will have given him a fright and should teach him what he should have known before.

And your DD will have learnt alot as well. Hopefully a very good outcome for all.

bonjovibel_729

Lotus-eater wrote: »

At the very least, it will have given him a fright and should teach him what he should have known before.

And your DD will have learnt alot as well. Hopefully a very good outcome for all.

i hope my dd has learnt not to give herself so willingly and i have also learnt how to deal with these situations having another dd whose 9 will be useful in the future....