just been sworn at on phone by idiot buyer

peterbaker

jumpingjackd wrote: »

As I have read, the buyer was abusive before the alleged murder. So where was his reasoning then.

No the way I read it, I reckon he said keep the f....g things round about the time he had just found out about it.

borosteve, I AM a nice bloke (so a g/f once told her husband!) - but as with everything in life, it's just possible that not everyone thinks the same !

Actually I have something vaguely similar going on myself right now .... I have given an eBay buyer a very long leash by giving him extra product on approval with a view to selling them on to some particular contacts when he came to collect a purchase. I summed him up as salt of the earth, and speculating for further sales, I volunteered some pieces for him to take with him to show. I wasn't risking much.

He has promised to call a number of times and did manage it once or twice, but eventually he explained how since I made the sale, his life had become seriously messed up at the moment by an equally dramatic family bereavement which involves police and all sorts of unpleasantness.

I think many people fall apart in the UK with this sort of thing. Many of us tend to have such disjointed families and poor support mechanisms when it happens.

It's inconvenient for those of us on the outside, uninvolved but obstructed from our normal routine, but not that unusual I fear.

I will start to chivvy my guy nicely to get my stuff back if he's not going to buy it (its been a few weeks) but again, it's not appropriate to get too aeriated just yet!

Tirian

For a user account that's only got 13 feedback there's no reason for anyone to get wound up - they can just open another account if it really fusses them that much.

If you're worried about leaving a neg, then leave a neutral - far less aggressive, but you can still say what you want to say without having to leave a positive for them. If they want to put their side, then there's always the reply function.

On top of which, there's really nothing at all to worry about for getting one unpaid strike. If they're telling the truth then having one unpaid strike shouldn't make any difference to their usage of eBay at all - nobody can even see that they have it!

pinkgem

as i explained the alleged murder that was in my local newspaper said that the incident happened last thursday 5th april and the man died on sunday 8th april in hospital.

but it was on the monday 9th april that my buyer arranged to collect the item at 3pm on tuesday 10th april. this was a couple of days after the alleged murder.

if the alleged murder/death had anything to do with my buyer then why would you be messing about on ebay arranging to collect a £3 item a few days after the death? and surely you wouldn't wait 2 days to tell the children?

monday 2nd april - item purchased

heard nothing for 4 days

friday 6th april - "when can i collect?" (i replied within minutes)

2 days for his reply

sunday morning 8th april - "when ever is best for you i will pop up" (again i replied within minutes)

nearly 2 days and nothing

09-Apr-07 at 17:41:47 BST - i started an unpaid item dispute because it was nearly 8 days and item had not been paid for or collected, no collection date had even been arranged, also i had a feeling he wasn't going to pay and email replies were taking 2 days at a time so i started it to give him a kick up the a**e.

An Unpaid Item dispute has been opened for the following item: (#XXXXXXXXXXXX) Reason given for Unpaid Item: The buyer has not paid for the item. Buyer actions reported by seller: The buyer's payment has not been received.

dispute messages follow:

xxxxxxxxxxxx 09-Apr-07 at 19:55:03 BST i was waiting for a reply to pick this item up???????? asked was tomo afternoon ok?????

me 09-Apr-07 at 20:09:39 BST - Hi, I didn't receive your message asking if tomorrow was ok. I haven't received any emails from you for nearly 2 days. yes, tomorrow afternoon would be fine please let me know what time. Thanks

xxxxxxxxxxx 09-Apr-07 at 23:38:56 BST is about 3 ok

me 09-Apr-07 at 23:43:07 BST yes that's fine

me 09-Apr-07 at 23:43:53 BST Just to confirm i will be at xx xxxxxxxx xxxxxxx, xxxxxxxxx, xxxx xxx. if you need to call me its xxxxx xxxxxx or xxxxx xxxxxx thanks

10 April I waited at home from approx 3pm-4.30pm but heard nothing. I requested contact details, called to ask if he was running late and then asked why he had not let me know he was not coming, he then said his girlfriend had had some bad news and i got told to keep the f*****g things.

10-Apr-07 at 16:30:23 BST The Unpaid Item dispute has been closed for the following reason: The seller has ended this communication and filed for a Final Value Fee credit.

when i phoned him at approx 4.30pm on 10th april, all he had to say was i'm sorry for not collecting or contacting you but there has been a death in the family. That would have been fine.

or if i had heard nothing from him since 5th/8th april until a week or 2 later and he had explained that there had been a death in the family then i would understand the reason for non payment. but he was messaging me on the 6th and 9th april.

also please remember i was not told what this "bad news" was until after i had closed the unpaid item dispute and the first i heard about it was in the same message as being called a compassionless b***h. how can i be compassionate when i did not know what this "bad news" was? all i did was close the unpaid item dispute because he clearly wasn't going to pay.

frivolous_fay

It's hard not to be cynical when you have an 'abuse first, offer explanations later' scenario. What am I saying? It's worse - 'abuse first, offer explanation, continue to abuse'!

A few things I'd like to mention:

- No-one has any clue if there really has been a death that affects this particular buyer
- Ebayers appear to suffer from a statistically increased rate of death, serious illness, bereavement, etc. This leads one to believe that not all such traumas are likely to be genuine.

Here's the timescale of this particular transaction...

Buyer used BIN on 2nd April
5th April buyer asks OP when they can collect
5th April - friend / relative in buyer's area attacked
5th-8thish April - buyer discussed collection with OP
OP opens dispute
8th April - attacked person dies in hospital.
9th April - buyer asks to collect the next day
10th April - collection day, buyer no-show, swears at OP on phone
11th April - buyer tells OP there has been a death
13th April - Buyer calls OP cold and heartless

I'm sorry, but what's wrong with this timescale?

After the attack of this person, the buyer continues to liaise with OP about collection on several occasions, with no hint of any problem. With an attack serious enough for someone to die, would ebay not be the last thing on your mind? Wouldn't you say that you were having some family trouble and were a bit too busy to collect your £2.95 item right now?

8th April - unfortunate person dies in hospital. Buyer recovers from the bereavement rapidly and next day, asks to collect the item.
By 10th April they've got over the death, apparently, and recovered composure enough to swear at a complete stranger on the phone.

SOMETHING SMELLS STRONGLY OF FISH.

pinkgem

anyway, i am not leaving him any feedback unless i receive some from him, i am not replying to any messages from him but i have been reporting them to ebay. all further messages will not be replied to and will be reported to ebay.

he might be telling the truth but that is no excuse to swear and be abusive to an innocent person, and if it was the truth i would have thought he should have more important things to do than keep sending abusive messages through ebay.

pinkgem

thanks fay - snap lol

if our dates don't quite match up it's because i thought it took him 3 days after using BIN to contact me asking to collect but after checking it was actually 4 days.

Moglex

pinkgem wrote: »

... and if it was the truth i would have thought he should have more important things to do than keep sending abusive messages through ebay.

Quite.

He seems to have plenty of time to be a pain in the neck. The only thing he did not have time for was to complete the transaction in the appropriate manner.

I disagree with the earlier poster who said that you should have shown more compassion.

I polite explanation from the buyer would almost certainly have worked wonders even if you could not have been sure he was telling the truth.

frivolous_fay

So first contact was on the 6th?

pinkgem

frivolous_fay wrote: »

So first contact was on the 6th?

yep, i just went through my emails and the unpaid dispute when i wrote the big post above so all dates in that should be correct.

there was the initial contact from the buyer on friday 6th, then on the morning of sunday 8th and a few times on the evening of monday 9th

peterbaker

2007. It's all about me me me isn't it?