Can I do this?? :(

princessdon

Dunroamin wrote: »

MSE members often seem to be the unluckiest gang around when it comes to failed contraception!;)

In my defence for my youngest it was partly my fault. When the hospital say you need to have a "check" for "swimmers" following a said operation. It is best to have that check :eek:

kingfisherblue

SailorSam wrote: »

I do that, i have to say 1953 and start to work it out.

You know how you sometimers make asumptions about posters? Well, SailorSam has surprised me if he was born in 1953, as I thought he was about fifteen years younger

AimeesMummy

I am a buyer and fully admit to being extremely lucky to have landed my job. I didn't have the qualifications required but worked from the bottom up (tea girl) and had some really fantastic managers training me on the job. I took 5 months each time with both my children.

Dad is very stable at present and looks after the kids no problem. As this baby isn't due until June I would wait to see if he things continue as good as they have been for the last few months to make sure he could cope with the two youngest kids.

He is on incapacity benefit and doesn't support the kids financially. I don't expect anything from him as I know I get support in other ways. Do you think it's possible to work full time with three kids 5 or under? xxx

nannytone_2

so you have a very responsible job.

pity it didnt overflow into you personal life.

princessdon

Practically (as a mum who has been there). Going from 1 -2 was hard but 2-3 easier.

It actually gets harder for me the older they get, under 5's wasn't a bother. Juggling being there after school, homework, after school activities, different hobbies.

Was much easier when I finished work, picked them up and gave them tea and had them in bed by 7pm.

missbunbury

Wow, what a lot of negativity!

OP - you're the only one who can say whether or not you can do this. If I were you I would be sitting down with a website like entitledto and modelling different situations - what if you were to work full time as now, what if you were to cut your hours or find a different, part-time job, what would happen if your ex went back to work and couldn't do childcare but could pay maintenance etc. Then you'll have a full picture of the possible futures. Model the worst case scenario - what if you had no job, couldn't get one, and had no support at all from your ex? How are you looking in terms of debts? Do you have a rainy-day cushion or might you be able to build one up over the next few months? Will you need to buy a load of new baby stuff or have you still got all your old things?

Also, on a personal level, what does your ex think you ought to do?

SingleSue

Youngest was a complete accident....I was on the contraceptive injection, breast feeding and my periods had not returned after middle son was born.

That was one very determined sperm! :rotfl:

To think we struggled to get pregnant with middle son, took 3 years and fertilty treatment needed and for eldest, several operations, drug treatments etc before my body was in any way ready for pregnancy.

supernatural619

Does no one like staying at home these days to look after their children? I have 2 children and I am a full time mum as I wouldn't miss a single thing in their lives. I couldn't stand someone else spending more time bringing my children up than me.

Would you not consider taking time off while they are so young?

AimeesMummy

I don't agree with being a stay at home parent if you can't afford to. I need the security of employment as do my kids. Taking my foot of the career ladder could potentially mean starting much lower down the chain later when they are at school...and I've fought too hard to let that happen.

princessdon

supernatural619 wrote: »

Does no one like staying at home these days to look after their children? I have 2 children and I am a full time mum as I wouldn't miss a single thing in their lives. I couldn't stand someone else spending more time bringing my children up than me.

Would you not consider taking time off while they are so young?

because for many of us we get no financial help - some get a lot of money to stay home from the govt, they don't do that to all. So as women we have to then lose our financial independance, put every penny of income onto the shoulders of our husbands, probably sell our homes (not everyone has social housing) as the drop in salary is huge from 2 workers on a mortgage to 1.

In addition, many working parents worked hard for their career, why go to Uni if all you are going to do is stay home? it is very different giving up a career and something you worked hard for to a dead end job.

Next - what happens if the man is no longer around or can't support the family? Many reasons why that happens - that family is then on full benefits with little chance of getting a job. I know I can support my family (without benefits) if the worst came to worst.

Isuppose it was different for me as I took my children to work with me ( in a nursery), so my children were looked after by my friends and I could watch them play.

It is a personal choice for all parents as to SAH or not - but for some that choice is taken away as they get Zero Financial help off the govt in the form of CB, CTC, and SH etc. I think all women should be given a years worth of their salary, then 2 years at half salary so that people do wish to stay home can.

The choice for some is lose their home if they don't.