Nice people thread part 7 - a thread in its prime

Generali

CKhalvashi wrote: »

Can we swap please? It sounds lovely!

The house, the day or the possum?

LydiaJ

silvercar wrote: »

Consumed by a huge loss is about right, no brave face and no willingness to talk to anyone outside. In fact nothing to say to anyone. Nothing can make it right and she doesn't want to feel better. Which makes me think that its turning to depression.

She is coming here in a couple of weeks time so we shall see how she is. House is going to be full at times so will be interesting whether she hides a way or interacts.

lostinrates wrote: »

I'm doing ok. I'm not taking calls and only really want to speak to dh but have spoken to lol my clients via email and am in touch here. I just don't want to actually talk about any emotions iykwim. I dread someone saying something about her to me in person. I just want to let every one get used to it and then carry on as 'normal'. Dh has seen two of my clients who were both in tears (as was he) but gets that I have to be different, to get through things. I don't mind crying with him, even with the vet was ok. But not with my family and clients. Thankfully resident parent is away and the other one dh has called to ask them to stop calling and give me some space.

I am a bit of a bxtxh and prefer to do this sort of thing with a harder face to the outside, and very, very few people aren't ' outside' .here it's ok, I don't have to talk, you gets cannot see me. Weird huh?

Grief is what it is, and it's different for everyone. There isn't a right way or a normal way to do it - for lir or for silvercar's mum. Not wanting to feel better is common, especially at the beginning - because to feel better you have to begin to let go, which feels like a betrayal of your love for the person who's gone. It's been, what, 8 months now, silver?? Does your mum seem totally stuck, or moving forward but terribly slowly? Grief becomes pathological when it goes on "too long" - which for a catastrophic loss (like a spouse, especially if the couple were "private people" without really close friends other than each other) probably means six months or so without any sense that things are beginning to make progress in the right direction, even if slowly.

OTOH, that doesn't mean it isn't worth investigating whether anti-depressants might make somebody better able to function while they're down in the depths, or insisting that they either take care of their own physical needs (food, warmth, paying bills, whatever) properly, or else accept help to do so.

Bereaved people can be very hard to help if they don't want to be helped, even if you're the parent and they're the child, and I can only imagine it must be all the more difficult if they're the parent and you're the child. I am thinking of you and praying for you, silvercar.

michaels wrote: »

Ah-ha...you need to define the question because the answer is already known...42

One of my teacher friends was impressed recently when a sixth-former in her class described an aspect of quantum mechanics as like a "someone else's problem field".

Weather here bright and sunny but very very cold. It felt very odd walking along this morning wearing black jeans, with the backs of my legs freezing cold and the fronts of them pleasantly warm. :undecided

If I'm not around as much as usual for a while, don't worry about me. I am snowed under with tests and reports and things. The penultimate week of term often seems to have the heaviest workload. Thursday (ie today) is my oasis of calm - my day off when I have no work and no children. I stayed up late last night getting work done so that I do not have to do any today (well, not during the day when I have the house to myself, anyway). I have had a bath with one of my mothers' day presents in it - and have a few things to do at home but am going to do plenty of relaxing and not let myself feel pressurised into any of it. Normal insane levels of activity will be resumed this evening.

GDB2222

CKhalvashi wrote: »

That's not even funny, unfortunately

I stuffed the car up a kerb last night, so I could avoid 2 police cars hurtling the other way, and it's damaged one of my tires, the exhaust, and damaged the protective plate thing under the front of the car :eek:.

Jaguar have just taken it away to be fixed (I've got an Aston Rapide in the meantime, as they're also an Aston Martin dealership), and although I'll hopefully have it back tonight, I'll be at least £1000 down

£1000 excess = not worth bunging through insurance IMO, but there we are. I seem to be having so many problems since I had this car, so I think it's jinxed!

CK

You know that you need to inform the insurers even if not claiming?

purch

Dear NP's

My venerable laptop appears to gave given up the ghost. I have taken it apart this morning (lost most of the screws) and removed the harddrive.

Anyway, I thought I would ask the NP opinions on what I should get instead.

I have a huge amount of desktop PC power at my disposal, so the laptop would only be for portable use, web browsing and the like.

Should I just get myself an ordinary laptop, or would anyone recommend a Chromebook, or even a Tablet ?

P.S. I have always considered Apple stuff to be overpriced and under specced, but I may be wrong.

Thank you

michaels

LydiaJ wrote: »

One of my teacher friends was impressed recently when a sicth-former in her class described an aspect of quantum mechanics as like a "someone else's problem field".

His style can be off-putting but some of the little ideas/observations are so accurate, WE all see SEPs working effectively every days.

Going a bit on topic for this board I think there is a lesson to be learned about the civilisation that sent all its 'useless' members such as telephone handset cleansers away on a spaceship (the one which crashed in to experiment earth and mucked up the results) with th eresult that said civilisation soon got wiped out by a deadly plague transmitted by phone handsets. I think of this each time some posters express the opinion that certain jobs are below them and that the unemployed should not be expected to take whatever work is available.

Lydia your day of freedom sounds idyllic, I hope you are taking full advantage.

Very pretty in St Albans this AM; last night we dropped off DD1 at cubs where she was doing a treasure hunt/walk and went home for dinner and was then a little suprised when I went out to fetch her and found an inch of snow all over everywhere - yes the poor things had been tramping around in a sudden sharp snow shower.

GDB2222

michaels wrote: »

Very pretty in St Albans this AM; last night we dropped off DD1 at cubs where she was doing a treasure hunt/walk and went home for dinner and was then a little suprised when I went out to fetch her and found an inch of snow all over everywhere - yes the poor things had been tramping around in a sudden sharp snow shower.

I went for a walk on Hampstead Heath yesterday, setting off in brilliant sunshine. I got around half-way round when it started to snow really heavily. Then it stopped, and the sun came out again. Really interesting weather!

Edit: Did you stock up on yoghurt and margarine at Tesco?

michaels

purch wrote: »

Dear NP's

My venerable laptop appears to gave given up the ghost. I have taken it apart this morning (lost most of the screws) and removed the harddrive.

Anyway, I thought I would ask the NP opinions on what I should get instead.

I have a huge amount of desktop PC power at my disposal, so the laptop would only be for portable use, web browsing and the like.

Should I just get myself an ordinary laptop, or would anyone recommend a Chromebook, or even a Tablet ?

P.S. I have always considered Apple stuff to be overpriced and under specced, but I may be wrong.

Thank you

I guess you have to decide what you will use it for - the lack of a keyboard and processing power may come back to bite you if you do ever want to do real work away from your PC but the trade off is carrying round the extra bulk, weight and cost of a proper laptop.

I guess a decent ultrabook is £500-600+, similar price to top spec ipad but similar spec to ipod andoid tablet is probably £300ish, similar to an average spec laptop; then 200 for a minimum spec laptop and a bit less for a netbook, with smaller/lower power tablets going from the £300 down to £50.

Generali

purch wrote: »

Dear NP's

My venerable laptop appears to gave given up the ghost. I have taken it apart this morning (lost most of the screws) and removed the harddrive.

Anyway, I thought I would ask the NP opinions on what I should get instead.

I have a huge amount of desktop PC power at my disposal, so the laptop would only be for portable use, web browsing and the like.

Should I just get myself an ordinary laptop, or would anyone recommend a Chromebook, or even a Tablet ?

P.S. I have always considered Apple stuff to be overpriced and under specced, but I may be wrong.

Thank you

The Rich People at work use an iPad with a keyboard that connects and a cover that acts as a stand for the tablet/screen.

It works well for them. You'll pay the Apple Premium that work pays for them (Rich People get stuff bought for them).

If you just want something for Internet and email (pretty much) then a £50 tablet (or whatever a cheapie costs) will do it.

michaels

Generali wrote: »

The Rich People at work use an iPad with a keyboard that connects and a cover that acts as a stand for the tablet/screen.

It works well for them. You'll pay the Apple Premium that work pays for them (Rich People get stuff bought for them).

If you just want something for Internet and email (pretty much) then a £50 tablet (or whatever a cheapie costs) will do it.

Is it Acer/Asus who do something similar, a laptop where the screen disconnects and becomes a tablet?

I still don't think an ipad is up to doing 'proper' work but then I work in a data analysis role so my requirements for 'proper' work may require a lot more processing power than most others.

lostinrates

Have to say, I find the attachable keypad for my macputer pad a pita. I prefer the touch screen......it's by far easier for me. The keyboard is fiddly and noisy and RSI inducing IMO. But then I also dislike very small laptops.

I personally, agree, they don't replace a computer, but if I had a desk top I'd be a very happy bunny.