Nice people thread part 7 - a thread in its prime

kabayiri

Spirit wrote: »

I am not sure who said "The harder I worked, the luckier I got" but I do believe whilst it is not the only factor, it is within our own control, and significant efort has a part to play in success.

Whether that is at work, in building friendships & networks, in sport or in art.

Look at the consistent regular participation in the NP thread.

There's a book I read a while back called 'As luck would have it'. It retells a number of true stories about fortune, and dispels a few myths about our understanding of fortune.

Apparently, those people who act on their own initiative after an airliner crash, and try to make their way to the exit (ignoring instructions to stay put) are more likely to survive.

It's about taking control of your situation as much as you can, but it can not guarantee the result (in the example I cite, survival!). This is why we usually hear things like "he/she was so lucky to walk away from that". It's a misconception.

-- actually, I'm not sure why I refer to this book. It was so good it was in the remainder section of the bookshop

michaels

I think a lot of successful people just haven't got unlucky yet, just as it is possible to flip 10 heads in a row, with enough people some are bound to have got all their calls right. Whereas Mr G shows how despite doing all the research something outside 3 standard deviations can happen...but then he also demonstrates how hard work and perseverance can allow one to make ones own luck....

PN do you get the 'tall stories' / BS / bigging oneself up thread? I just don't get the whole concept of making up stories and lying, I wonder if you are the same?

misskool

kabayiri wrote: »

There's a book I read a while back called 'As luck would have it'. It retells a number of true stories about fortune, and dispels a few myths about our understanding of fortune.

Apparently, those people who act on their own initiative after an airliner crash, and try to make their way to the exit (ignoring instructions to stay put) are more likely to survive.

It's about taking control of your situation as much as you can, but it can not guarantee the result (in the example I cite, survival!). This is why we usually hear things like "he/she was so lucky to walk away from that". It's a misconception.

-- actually, I'm not sure why I refer to this book. It was so good it was in the remainder section of the bookshop

Luck is 99% perspiration.



There are serendipitous moments in people's lives but things happen when you want them or let them.

misskool

lostinrates wrote: »

Right, bag packed for tomorrow. Swimming costume (oh dear), hair deep treatment stuff (might as well utilise the power of steam, I'll look dreadful enough after wards) and just remembered in typing this to
Pack styling stuff for hair afterwards.

We will sit in hot water and be warm.

wait, what's happening tomorrow? did i miss a spa day invite?

lostinrates

misskool wrote: »

Luck is 99% perspiration.



There are serendipitous moments in people's lives but things happen when you want them or let them.

Some things......perhaps emotional things.

Cancer though? Too Christian science for me. In real life there are pincidences that work well for some and badly for others. There is bad luck, ( like illness) good luck ( like a ticket win at your village fete tombola) and there is the middle...which is where hard work and skill really separate wheat fom chaff. IMO. Tonight anyway.

lostinrates

misskool wrote: »

wait, what's happening tomorrow? did i miss a spa day invite?

Not an np one. Just dh and I heading down the road.

Half day holiday for us. We just need to be hot and wet. In a literal sense.

PasturesNew

Spirit wrote: »

Whether that is at work, in building friendships & networks, in sport or in art.

Not everybody's good at those, participate in those, or mix in circles where this is possible. I am not even sure what "in art" means.... do you hang out in random art galleries chatting to strangers?

If you're "not like them" then people won't want to mix with you - and you might not be able to do anything about not being like them.

I work somewhere where talking is almost a sackable offence - although I am lucky that there's somebody "just like me" there (single/older). Everybody else is "a bit of a young bloke, with laddish activities, or a young family" - I'm not like them I'd never be included in anything they did in their lives. I am never in an environment where I can build friendships - I never meet people "like me", most people are family-centric and/or in a relationship; people don't have time for new friendships with people not like them. I don't do networking - I can't/don't do smalltalk and am "not like them" as people who network are usually of a different personality type (NTs). I don't do sport (expensive/not interested). I don't do art (no interest).

kabayiri

lostinrates wrote: »

Some things......perhaps emotional things.

Cancer though? Too Christian science for me. In real life there are pincidences that work well for some and badly for others. There is bad luck, ( like illness) good luck ( like a ticket win at your village fete tombola) and there is the middle...which is where hard work and skill really separate wheat fom chaff. IMO. Tonight anyway.

Perhaps I am flogging this luck thing a bit too much, but...sometimes we want to believe there is a design/intent behind something, and prefer that version of events to the rather more boring chance version.

I remember reading an article. They made up a fictitious person and a set of facts about this person. The person had a typical name for the late 1800s; they died at 31 (I think) of TB - a typical killer disease at the time. They made up their birth date, location of birth, and some other details.

They then hunted through the historical records, and found someone who matched the exact same conditions! It was a chance match, nothing else.

If you were told about this person by a psychic, we would all be looking at it as either proof of supernatural ability, or proof of a con artist at work (whichever version matched our predisposition).

PasturesNew

There was a telly programme on last night: The Queen of Versailles - worth watching on a catchup. It started as some Reality TV filming of a bloke/his wife/family as they were building the largest private residence in the world, based on the Palace of Versailles.

At one point he was talking about his success, as if it was something he did. The filming then filmed them through the downturn of 2008 and them laying off 6000 employees and getting rid of about 19 of their domestic staff.... and at the end he had a totally different take on success and fake success etc. He'd seen the other side - the side where everything you thought was your choice and in your control was taken away and leaving you with nothing.

You have to have been lucky, then unlucky, to realise that you'd done nothing different, you just got up one day and were unlucky..... some people are lucky again.

lostinrates

PasturesNew wrote: »

Not everybody's good at those, participate in those, or mix in circles where this is possible. I am not even sure what "in art" means.... do you hang out in random art galleries chatting to strangers?

If you're "not like them" then people won't want to mix with you - and you might not be able to do anything about not being like them.

I work somewhere where talking is almost a sackable offence - although I am lucky that there's somebody "just like me" there (single/older). Everybody else is "a bit of a young bloke, with laddish activities, or a young family" - I'm not like them I'd never be included in anything they did in their lives. I am never in an environment where I can build friendships - I never meet people "like me", most people are family-centric and/or in a relationship; people don't have time for new friendships with people not like them. I don't do networking - I can't/don't do smalltalk and am "not like them" as people who network are usually of a different personality type (NTs). I don't do sport (expensive/not interested). I don't do art (no interest).

Hmm. Are you doubting our friendship is real? That people like me are not interested because we are different? I find that a little sad, when some of us care for you so much.

This time has been small scale networking and friendship building.....